[Bogdana Alkeav]

Re: Let's Talk About S-E-X (Bible Style!)

-"If ye had not plowed with my heifer"
Samson called his wife a heifer and accuses the Philistines of having sex with her. Judges 14:18

-Samson wants to have sex with his wife in the bedroom, but his father-in-law won't let him. Judges 15:1

-"Then went Samson to Gaza, and saw there an harlot, and went in unto her." Judges 16:1

-"Afterward ... he loved a woman ... whose name was Delilah."Judges 16:4

-After taking in a traveling Levite, the host offers his virgin daughter and his guest's concubine to a mob of perverts (who want to have sex with his guest). The mob refuses the daughter, but accepts the concubine and they "abuse her all night." The next morning she crawls back to the doorstep and dies. The Levite puts her dead body on an ass and takes her home. Then he chops her body up into twelve pieces and sends them to each of the twelve tribes of Israel. Judges 19:22-30

[Sister Pamela Thompson]

Re: Let's Talk About S-E-X (Bible Style!)

At least she's making an attempt to study the Word of God.

[Bogdana Alkeav]

Re: Let's Talk About S-E-X (Bible Style!)

-A man of God came unto me [Samson's mom]."
She didn't ask him any questions and he didn't tell her his name.
"The angel of God came again unto the woman as she sat in the field: but Manoah her husband was not with her."
Husbands are never around when angels come unto women and make them pregnant. Judges 13:9

-Samson sees a pretty girl, and asks her father to buy her for him. Judges 14:1-3

-After ripping up a lion, Samson went to visit the Philistine woman that he fell in lust with earlier. "And she pleased Samson well." Judges 14:7

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Let's Talk About S-E-X (Bible Style!)

And the difference is? Oh right, one is in archaic language that disgusts your sensibilities less.

-Joshua's spies "come unto" a prostitute, and they weren't very discreet about it either, as the King of Jericho soon found out about it. Joshua 2:1-4

-At God's command, Joshua circumcises the Israelites a second time (how is that possible???), at a place called the Hill of the Foreskins. Joshua 5:2-3

Atheistic twaddle. Yap, yap yap.

Why do you care if you don't even believe in His Word?

Shouldn't you be fornicating with a statue of Stalin?

Get saved in Christ or fry!

Your choice.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Let's Talk About S-E-X (Bible Style!)

I wish that woman Bogroll AlkaSeltzer would come to her point and tell us the bottom line! All she seems to have done is quote Bible stories and put an exclamation mark after them.

I appreciate people being astounded by the incisive nature of The Word of The Lord but this is becoming a trifle wearing.

[Bogdana Alkeav]

Re: Let's Talk About S-E-X (Bible Style!)

By writing your own text instead of copying what is actually in the KJV1611 Holy Bible.

And the difference is? Oh right, one is in archaic language that disgusts your sensibilities less.

-Joshua's spies "come unto" a prostitute, and they weren't very discreet about it either, as the King of Jericho soon found out about it. Joshua 2:1-4

-At God's command, Joshua circumcises the Israelites a second time (how is that possible???), at a place called the Hill of the Foreskins. Joshua 5:2-3

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Let's Talk About S-E-X (Bible Style!)

All of your stuff is copied and pasted from the Sceptics Annotated Bible. Are none of you atheists capable of thinking for yourselves? All you people do is come onto our CHRISTIAN board and parrot the same stuff over and over.

And because you started this thread, we will be attacked by the teenage trolls that are out for summer. We've already had one that was left up. How many have the Pastors already had to delete?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Let's Talk About S-E-X (Bible Style!)

How am I making my own version of it, sir?

By writing your own text instead of copying what is actually in the KJV1611 Holy Bible.

An example, Deuteronomy 21:11-14.

Your version: If you see a pretty woman among the war captives and would like her for a wife, then just bring her home and have sex with her. Later, if you decide you don't like her, you can "let her go."

What the real KJV1611 Holy Bible says: And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a desire unto her, that thou wouldest have her to thy wife; Then thou shalt bring her home to thine house, and she shall shave her head, and pare her nails; And she shall put the raiment of her captivity from off her, and shall remain in thine house, and bewail her father and her mother a full month: and after that thou shalt go in unto her, and be her husband, and she shall be thy wife. And it shall be, if thou have no delight in her, then thou shalt let her go whither she will; but thou shalt not sell her at all for money, thou shalt not make merchandise of her, because thou hast humbled her.

[Bogdana Alkeav]

Re: Let's Talk About S-E-X (Bible Style!)

No, you are making your own version of it. And no one cares about the BOG-ALK-BARF-2010 Bible, we only care about the KJV1611 Holy Bible as God made it for us.

How am I making my own version of it, sir?

-If a man dies without having a child, his brother shall "go in unto" his dead brother's wife. If he refuses, the dead man's wife is to loosen his shoe and spit in his face. Deuteronomy 25:5-10

-If two men fight and the wife of one grabs the genitals of the other, then her hand must be caught off, and she will not be pitied. Deuteronomy 25:11-12

-God warns if you disobey his law, he will curse you by having another man sleep with your fiancee. Deuteronomy 28:30

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Let's Talk About S-E-X (Bible Style!)

I'm just quoting what's in the Bible

No, you are making your own version of it. And no one cares about the BOG-ALK-BARF-2010 Bible, we only care about the KJV1611 Holy Bible as God made it for us.

[Bogdana Alkeav]

Re: Let's Talk About S-E-X (Bible Style!)

Sinners have magazines and movies for people like you. Please don't use the Holy Scriptures for your own disgusting fetishes.

I'm just quoting what's in the Bible. What is the problem here???

-If you see a pretty woman among the war captives and would like her for a wife, then just bring her home and have sex with her. Later, if you decide you don't like her, you can "let her go." Deuteronomy 21:11-14

- If a man marries, then decides that he hates his wife, he can claim she wasn't a virgin when they were married. If her father can't produce the "tokens of her virginity" (bloody sheets), then the woman is to be stoned to death at her father's doorstep. Deuteronomy 22:13-21

-If a man has sex with a married woman, they will be killed Deuteronomy 22:22 (notice there is no law for a married man having sex with another woman...)

-If an engaged virgin is raped in the city and doesn't cry out loud enough, then "he men of the city shall stone her to death. Deuteronomy 22:23-24

-If a woman is raped in the country, then only the man shall die (since there was no one to hear her if she cried out.) Deuteronomy 22:25

-If a man rapes an unbetrothed virgin, he must pay her father a small fine and then marry her. Deuteronomy 22:28

-You can't go to church if your testicles are damaged or your penis has been cut off. Deuteronomy 23:1

[Sister Pamela Thompson]

Re: Let's Talk About S-E-X (Bible Style!)

I have an addiction to sex. Satan has taken over my desires and I spend all my time thinking about sex.

Sinners have magazines and movies for people like you. Please don't use the Holy Scriptures for your own disgusting fetishes.

[Bogdana Alkeav]

Re: Let's Talk About S-E-X (Bible Style!)

-The men of Israel "commit whoredoms with the daughters of Moab" Numbers 25:1

-Under God's direction, Moses' army defeats the Midianites. They kill all the adult males, but take the women and children captive. When Moses learns that they left some live, he angrily says: "Have you saved all the women alive? Kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves." So they went back and did as Moses (and presumably God) instructed, killing everyone except for the virgins. In this way they got 32,000 virgins -- Wow! (Even God gets some of the booty -- including the virgins.) Numbers 31:1-54

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Let's Talk About S-E-X (Bible Style!)

The One True God keeps his instructions on sex nice and simple:

The Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn't's"

4. I'd really rather you didn't indulge in conduct that offends yourself, or your willing, consenting partner of legal age AND mental maturity. As for anyone who might object, I think the expression is "go piffle yourself," unless they find that offensive in which case they can turn off the TV for once and go for a walk for a change.

Followed by this piece of advice

8. I'd really rather you didn't do unto others as you would have them do unto you if you are into, um, stuff that uses a lot of leather/lubricant/vaseline. If the other person is into it, however (pursuant to #4), then have at it, take pictures, and for the love of Mike, wear a CONDOM! Honestly, it's a piece of rubber. If I didn't want it to feel good when you did it I would have added spikes, or something.

[Bogdana Alkeav]

Re: Let's Talk About S-E-X (Bible Style!)

Sir, I am not posting CLAIMS of the site. I'm not pointing out contradictions or anything like that. I'm talking about what is actually IN the Bible. Or do you contend that Leviticus 15:18 does NOT say "The woman also with whom man shall lie with seed of copulation, they shall both bathe themselves in water, and be unclean until the even."

-Don't have sex with a man with a running sore, who had a wet dream, or a woman on her period. Leviticus 15:32-33

-Don't have sex with your relatives (tell that to the characters in Genesis...) Leviticus 18:6-18, 20.

-Don't "go a whoring" after Molech or "commit adultery with him." (Don't you love it when God talks dirty?) Leviticus 20:5

-Stay away from people with familiar spirits and don't "go a whoring" after them either. 20:6

-Stay away from people with familiar spirits and don't "go a whoring" after them either.

-If a man has sex with his father's wife, kill them both. 20:11 (Good thing Reuben wasn't around at this time!)

-If a man has sex with his daughter in law, kill them both. 20:12 (Good thing Judah wasn't around!)

-If you "lie" with your wife and your mother-in-law (now that sounds fun!), then all three of your must be burned to death. 20:13

-If a man or woman "lie with a beast" both the person and the poor animal are to be killed 20:15-16

-Don't have sex with your sister, uncle's wife, or your brother's wife 20:17, 19-21 (Good thing Abraham wasn't around)

-"Neither shall he [the priest] profane his seed among his people." (His seed is holy.) 21:15

-A man with damaged testicles must not "come nigh to offer the bread of his God."