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  • Pastor Al E Pistle
    Christ's Cōnsiliārius
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 9323
    #16
    Re: Jesusmobile

    Originally posted by Brother Guy View Post
    How godly of you. Do you mind me asking how much that 'structure' cost to build?? I'mjust curious about where my Tithe money ends up...I imagine transport costs in that part of the world aren't cheap...
    Part of the group that went over are contractors, so we bought the material and donated the labor. I think we managed to come in at a very respectable US$244,000.00 and got the work done in only one month.

    We took all of the village women and cattle that would sell and auctioned them in Nairobi to offset some of our costs.
    Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
    "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
    Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


      Comment

      • lol_is_ten_socks
        Confirmed Enemy of God
        BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
        • Oct 2007
        • 50
        #17
        Re: Jesusmobile

        A Mrs. Thumper; nice car, but err... "America Kicks Ass"?

          Comment

          • Pastor Ezekiel
            Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
             
            • Sep 2006
            • 78555
            #18
            Re: Jesusmobile

            Originally posted by lol_is_teh_secks View Post
            A Mrs. Thumper; nice car, but err... "America Kicks Ass"?
            Some asses need kicking, sinner. Are you one of them?
            Who Will Jesus Damn?

            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

              Comment

              • Buford T Scoggins
                Founder, Operation Rescue, Now in Heaven with Jesus
                True Christian™
                • Aug 2007
                • 911
                #19
                Re: Jesusmobile

                I haven't yet got the money to buy my JesusMobile, but I'm happy to say that yesterday the Lord sent me something else I've been wanting - a live rattlesnake. I caught it in the Wacko City Park.

                What would I want with one of Satan's messengers? Well, I can tell you it's NOT because I intend to follow his advice to eat forbidden fruit! No sirree. But when you've captured one of the Devil's servants, you can make him exorcise the evil that his master has unleashed on the innocent.

                Next Sunday, we're going to be having another Tent Revival at the County Fairgrounds where we do faith healing. In the past, I've had to borrow other people's rattlesnakes, but now I have one of my own.

                The snakes come in handy for faith healing. We read passages from the Bible, which we hold with one hand, and in the other hand we've got the snake by the tail and twirl it around. It's great for driving the evil right out of people. Sometimes we cure the blind, or get cripples to walk, but I've had my greatest success with curing homers. Sometimes you've got to hold the snake 2 inches in front of their face while bashing them over the head with a KJB to get them to renounce homerism, but I can tell you, it works every time.

                My dream is to get a JesusMobile (with a good snake-proof trunk) so I can travel far and wide across the great state of Texas, spreading the word of the Lord and battling the forces of darkness.

                Now time to take my thorazine.

                Hallelujah!
                Buford
                yours in Christ,
                Brother Buford

                sigpic

                The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.
                - Rush Limbaugh

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