[HTannor]

Re: I'm An Independant Business Owner!

Brother Tannor you certainly have a gift of putting a deal together, are you a student of Donald Trump, I can see bits of ''The Art of the Deal'' or ''The Apprentice'' TV show, Which is it?

Actually, neither, Brother Benedict, since I’ve never watched either show.

I developed my business skills while still a lad delivering newspapers. A business enterprise I continue to pursue.

Wheeling and dealing became part of my life when I traded a one week newspaper subscription for a litter of kittens.

I sold the cats to a local Chinese restaurant and, as they say, the rest is history.

Brother Tannor,

Jolene sounds wonderful. A thrifty and ambitious woman is exactly what I need for this trip. However, as she is from a trailer park, I do have a few questions and concerns. I hate to stereotype, but must ask.

She is at least somewhat attractive? Has all of her hair and teeth? No chemical dependancies or facial tattoos? We have a certain image to uphold for The Business.

And I trust that she has appropriate business attire? A simple black evening gown with modest rhinestones is best. Floral prints or mumus of any type are a no-no.

Well, first, yes she does live her in the trailer part. This is her home:



Pretty nice, huh. She has since done a little landscaping by placing some Astroturf on the front steps. She’s really clever.

Don’t be concerned about her appearance. She’s very attractive. Blond, a full set of teeth, and no visible tattoos. She’s single now after dumping a couple of good-for-nothing husbands.




Pretty attractive woman, right? She’s back to being single and wants to move on with her life.

Brother Tannor

Also, we will have to share a room at the Motel 6 unless she collects enough cans and bottles for her own suite. Please make sure she understands this is strictly a business trip and not an opportunity to seduce a True Christian™ man. There will be no fooling around or fornication of any type.

Not to worry, Brother Rubicon. She tells me she is working on regaining her virginity.

But she MUST be shown "The Plan" before we leave, and her purchase of the starter kit and her own franchise would certainly assure that she is met with open arms and smiles at this special function. Can the three of us meet in your trailer within the next few days?

I don’t see a problem there. Anytime you’re ready.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: I'm An Independant Business Owner!

God has truly blessed you, Brother Rubicon! What wonders Jesus showers on those who both love Him and are blessed to live in His Holy Land. There's nothing like that in this god-forsaken country and, though it's hard not to be just a little jealous about the marvellous opportunities that He lays before your feet, I know that it's only right.



Please, though - it would be a wonderful blessing if, when you buy your executive jet, you could see your way free to fly to the bottom of the world (I mean that in the biological sense - I know that a flat world has no "underneath") so that we less fortunate can gaze on the riches with which He's showered you and bless Him for his benevolence?

Brother Snapper,

Praise Christ for my opportunity!

But there is no reason to be envious. You are welcome in my downline!

And we scrapped the plans for a mere executive jet. I prayed hard on the matter and Jesus told me not to fool around with a Gulfstream or a Falcon. I'm in negotiations right now for this baby.

The owners were at first concerned with my debt to income ratio. But after I showed them The Plan, they are more than anxious to work with me. Praise Jesus that this opportunity speaks for itself!

We take her up in the morning for a test flight and I'll instruct the crew to make a low pass over your neighborhood.

Praise Christ!

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: I'm An Independant Business Owner!

Brother Rubicon is this an interweb based business? Are you allowed to add your own product line?
If so I have a large supply of rocks left over from the stoning festival, high quality obsidian. I also have a limited quantity of the polished stones with scripture engraved on them . I have a line on some Jesus Bobblehead figures that no Christian would be with out, stick them to the dash board of your truck and Jesus is ridding shotgun .

Bless you Brother James!

Indeed, most of our Independant Business Owners do use the World Wide Webs to retail products.

One of the benefits of being a franchisee is access to The Company's web development specialists. My own website is being built right now! For only $999 plus a $69.99 monthly maintenance fee, I will have my own https storefront on the Internets! I could have gone with the non-secure retail site for only $499, but my upline advised against it. And for no additional charge, they will also make sure that I am top on the list anytime someone uses the Google Internet Search Engine to find my products. Praise Jesus for our modern technology!

Your products are attractive and I'm sure they will sell quickly. Unfortunately, retailing anything other than products produced by The Company is strictly prohibited. I could lose the franchise I've worked so hard for if I accepted your offer. It's in the business contract I signed.

You see, in our business we really do "walk the talk". The very first step in my "startup" was to dispose of any item in my trailer that isn't available from the company. All the inferior toilet paper, laundry soap, vitamins, pet food...gone! All replaced with higher quality products from The Company. It's supposed to be a secret, but IBOs can purchase any product for a 5 percent discount from the retail price. And it's motivational to be surrounded by the corporate logo we are so proud of!

In Christ!

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: I'm An Independant Business Owner!

Brother Rubicon, I may have a solution to the “double booking” issue you mentioned.

I showed your message about the upcoming seminar in Boise to one of the ladies here in the trailer park. Jolene Terwilliger is just a couple doors down from me and she’s really excited about this opportunity.

She immediately started walking the ditches here in the park and along with roads around the park. She figures there’s enough discarded beer cans in the area to cover the bus ticket to get her rolling to real riches in the future. The biggest problem is the seminar fee.

She wonders if you could front her on that and thinks that she could work the crowd on the bus between here and Boise and would alight there with payback already well started. She’s sure that by working the seminar attendees pretty heavy, you’d be free and clear within mere hours.

She said she can also take care of most of the food issues while on the bus and for your time in Boise. She told me she has a freezer full of bargains from the day-old bakery store and several large tins of commodity peanut butter – enough, she told me, to handle all the nutritional needs for your entire trip.

Just tell me the exact date of the departure and I’ll let her know when to start packing for the trip.

Brother Tannor,

Praise Jesus Christ for our Brotherhood!

Jolene sounds wonderful. A thrifty and ambitious woman is exactly what I need for this trip. However, as she is from a trailer park, I do have a few questions and concerns. I hate to stereotype, but must ask.

She is at least somewhat attractive? Has all of her hair and teeth? No chemical dependancies or facial tattoos? We have a certain image to uphold for The Business.

And I trust that she has appropriate business attire? A simple black evening gown with modest rhinestones is best. Floral prints or mumus of any type are a no-no.

Also, we will have to share a room at the Motel 6 unless she collects enough cans and bottles for her own suite. Please make sure she understands this is strictly a business trip and not an opportunity to seduce a True Christian™ man. There will be no fooling around or fornication of any type.

Praise Jesus for His gifts! A credit card offer was in my mailbox today and I accepted the generous terms at 28.5% APR. Between this and my negotiations with a MAJOR national cash advance financial institution, I now have sufficient capital to fund The Business, if I am careful. I can indeed loan her the $650 "contribution" to our Godly leadership team.

But she MUST be shown "The Plan" before we leave, and her purchase of the starter kit and her own franchise would certainly assure that she is met with open arms and smiles at this special function. Can the three of us meet in your trailer within the next few days?

And don't forget, this outstanding opportunity is just as open to you as it is to any Christian!

In Christ!

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: I'm An Independant Business Owner!

What a great idea, Brother James. I showed this to Jolene and her entreprenurial eyes just lit up.




She's thinking of carrying a bunch of these in a tupperware container when she gets on the bus to Boise.

She figures that each person on the bus that gives her a "contribution" would receive one of the dolls to be placed on their lap. As the bus gently rocks on its way to the final destination, the doll's head would slowly rock up and down as a pleasant reminder of Jolene's personal visit.

Now, Jolene's bus ticket probably tapped her out, so she's wondering if she get her supply on consignment. She's thinking something on the order of a 1500% markup. You charge her a buck apiece and she gets a "gift" of $15. There's, say, 50 people on the bus. She grosses $750 and pays you the $50 you fronted and clears a cool 700 smackeroos on the ride.

The $700 covers the seminar fee Brother Rubicon fronted and she's still got 50 bucks to blow on souvenirs from Boise. (She's promised to bring me back a stuffed jackrabbit.)

It's win-win-win all over the place.

Brother Tannor you certainly have a gift of putting a deal together, are you a student of Donald Trump, I can see bits of ''The Art of the Deal'' or ''The Apprentice'' TV show, Which is it?

[HTannor]

Re: I'm An Independant Business Owner!

What a great idea, Brother James. I showed this to Jolene and her entreprenurial eyes just lit up.




She's thinking of carrying a bunch of these in a tupperware container when she gets on the bus to Boise.

She figures that each person on the bus that gives her a "contribution" would receive one of the dolls to be placed on their lap. As the bus gently rocks on its way to the final destination, the doll's head would slowly rock up and down as a pleasant reminder of Jolene's personal visit.

Now, Jolene's bus ticket probably tapped her out, so she's wondering if she get her supply on consignment. She's thinking something on the order of a 1500% markup. You charge her a buck apiece and she gets a "gift" of $15. There's, say, 50 people on the bus. She grosses $750 and pays you the $50 you fronted and clears a cool 700 smackeroos on the ride.

The $700 covers the seminar fee Brother Rubicon fronted and she's still got 50 bucks to blow on souvenirs from Boise. (She's promised to bring me back a stuffed jackrabbit.)

It's win-win-win all over the place.

[James Dewitt]

Re: I'm An Independant Business Owner!

Brother Rubicon is this an interweb based business? Are you allowed to add your own product line?
If so I have a large supply of rocks left over from the stoning festival, high quality obsidian. I also have a limited quantity of the polished stones with scripture engraved on them . I have a line on some Jesus Bobblehead figures that no Christian would be with out, stick them to the dash board of your truck and Jesus is ridding shotgun .

[HTannor]

Re: I'm An Independant Business Owner!

Brother Rubicon, I may have a solution to the “double booking” issue you mentioned.

I showed your message about the upcoming seminar in Boise to one of the ladies here in the trailer park. Jolene Terwilliger is just a couple doors down from me and she’s really excited about this opportunity.

She immediately started walking the ditches here in the park and along with roads around the park. She figures there’s enough discarded beer cans in the area to cover the bus ticket to get her rolling to real riches in the future. The biggest problem is the seminar fee.

She wonders if you could front her on that and thinks that she could work the crowd on the bus between here and Boise and would alight there with payback already well started. She’s sure that by working the seminar attendees pretty heavy, you’d be free and clear within mere hours.

She said she can also take care of most of the food issues while on the bus and for your time in Boise. She told me she has a freezer full of bargains from the day-old bakery store and several large tins of commodity peanut butter – enough, she told me, to handle all the nutritional needs for your entire trip.

Just tell me the exact date of the departure and I’ll let her know when to start packing for the trip.

[Brother Snapper Grogan]

Re: I'm An Independant Business Owner!

God has truly blessed you, Brother Rubicon! What wonders Jesus showers on those who both love Him and are blessed to live in His Holy Land. There's nothing like that in this god-forsaken country and, though it's hard not to be just a little jealous about the marvellous opportunities that He lays before your feet, I know that it's only right.

For whosoever hath, to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance: but whosoever hath not, from him shall be taken away even that he hath.

Please, though - it would be a wonderful blessing if, when you buy your executive jet, you could see your way free to fly to the bottom of the world (I mean that in the biological sense - I know that a flat world has no "underneath") so that we less fortunate can gaze on the riches with which He's showered you and bless Him for his benevolence?

[Sister Charli]

Re: I'm An Independant Business Owner!

I'm officially a "Quartz" level distributor in "The Business" with a pin to prove it! We wear our status on our lapels at all times to show our business achievements. I've got a long ways yet to "Go Diamond!",

Brother Rubicon,

I pray you go to the next level quickly.

Quartz reminds me of those new age crystals that witches use for black magik and stuff.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: I'm An Independant Business Owner!

Praise Jesus Brothers and Sisters!

I'm finally home! The Greyhound overheated at the OK state line and we had to wait three hours for another one to pick us up. I'm just glad I wasn't in my black business suit. Those things really get uncomfortable in 110 degree heat.

I'm officially a "Quartz" level distributor in "The Business" with a pin to prove it! We wear our status on our lapels at all times to show our business achievements. I've got a long ways yet to "Go Diamond!", but it's clear that the fine Christians of Freehold are screaming to get their share of this Godly business! I look forward to my parade and key to the city. Praise Jesus Christ!

My "take away" (it's a business term) from the Leadership Seminar and our "Breakout Strategy Sessions" (more business talk) is that I simply need more motivation to get the money rolling in. My upline has advised that rarely is one 800 dollar event enough to REALLY get pumped up. He says there is another special function next weekend in Boise that I MUST attend in order to really understand how to grow my business. And this one is only $650, but it's based on a double booking, so I REALLY need one of you True Christian™ women to step up to the plate and come with me. This means I MUST show one of you "The Business Plan" soon in order to qualify your attendance. These business meetings are not open to just anyone.

The expenses so far have been substantial. Credit card is almost at max. But it's all worth it, trust me! I'll be in my business suit all week recruiting and should recover the $1600 I've charged this weekend within a couple of days, max!

Praise Jesus my Friends! Opportunities such as this are as rare as a whore in a Church!

Yours in Christ!

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: I'm An Independant Business Owner!

When Brother Rubicon returns please let us all know the time of the parade.

I've already got commitments from a number of the ladies here in the trailer park to attend the festivities. They're ready to work the crowd and show how resourcful they are so Brother Rubicon may reconsider fronting the sales kit costs.

I've told them of the precious stones and they're all primed to "hjump for jewels."

This is so exciting, one of our own making it to the top. Maybe I'm getting ahead of things, but I can just imagine all the ladies in Freehold, and, many men as well, buying the sales kit, making the calls, and moving across the Des Moines metro like a money making bulldozer.

It seems logical that Rubicon's new corporate headquarters should be in Freehold.

[HTannor]

Re: I'm An Independant Business Owner!

But, when it fits into your schedule, please come back to Freehold so we can give you a proper parade and a Key to the City.

When Brother Rubicon returns please let us all know the time of the parade.

I've already got commitments from a number of the ladies here in the trailer park to attend the festivities. They're ready to work the crowd and show how resourcful they are so Brother Rubicon may reconsider fronting the sales kit costs.

I've told them of the precious stones and they're all primed to "hjump for jewels."

[Sister Charli]

Re: I'm An Independant Business Owner!

brother Rubicon,

I note that you refer to some of the upline as being diamonds and emeralds.
Clearly you have been blessed to find this good Christian business as God tells us ...

1 Chronicles 29:2 (King James Version)
2 Now I have prepared with all my might for the house of my God the gold for things to be made of gold, and the silver for things of silver, and the brass for things of brass, the iron for things of iron, and wood for things of wood; onyx stones, and stones to be set, glistering stones, and of divers colours, and all manner of precious stones, and marble stones in abundance.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: I'm An Independant Business Owner!

I know you are going to be very busy recruiting new people and talking about the wonderful opportunity.

But, when it fits into your schedule, please come back to Freehold so we can give you a proper parade and a Key to the City.

God Bless

Bless you in Christ Mayor John!

I can't wait to bring this opportunity to Freehold!

On a quick break from the Leadership Seminar that wraps up tonight at 8:00. Gotta get back to hear our "Quadruple Emerald" share his motivations with us!!


More soon and Yours in Christ!