[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: HOMELAND SECURITY UPDATE! CHECK DAILY!

April 16th '15: In a major security failure, clearly Obama's fault, which I will call Choppergate, a man used a weird, nerdy vehicle to get past a fence, allowing him entry into a public building. Worse, he was heavily armed with "letters to congress", which he could have used to dish out brutal papercuts. I hear there was a second conspirator on the "grassy knoll", so to speak, with lemon juice, to be rubbed into the papercuts of every member of congress.

On the bright side, I am reassured to see that people still have a healthy fear of the unusual, and distrust of weird people and their weird technology. Are you paying attention, nerds who want flying cars? You're never going to get them, because we can't risk having weird people going to public buildings with them.

Even the guy from "The Hurt Locker" is afraid of nerdmobiles.

[James Hutchins]

Re: HOMELAND SECURITY UPDATE! CHECK DAILY!

What I want to know is why was a known Buddhist terrorist having access to the Navy Yard. I mean I understand that near every single sailor is as queer as the day is long but they do serve a purpose. The place is fenced in. There was no need to shot people while they were eating breakfast.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: HOMELAND SECURITY UPDATE! CHECK DAILY!

The Air Force Times reports that the area of the Washington Navy Yard where the shooting occurred was as well guarded as the pentagon itself:

the public’s attention is shifting to security rules at Naval Sea Systems Command headquarters, a high-security building in the middle of the prestigious yard that is home to the Navy’s top officer and other admirals.

The headquarters, Building 197, contains classified and highly sensitive information about technical details of Navy ships and weapons, and it is closely guarded.

Visitors must first get access to the Washington Navy Yard with a military or civilian photo ID. The building is three blocks from the main gate. Those entering must go through an automated turnstile by flashing their NAVSEA badge. They are not allowed to bring in cellphones or photographic and recording devices, which can be exploited by foreign intelligence.

After passing through the turnstile overseen by the security guards at a desk, an employee can enter the lobby, which rises up to the building’s four-story height.

Guests must be checked in and turn in any recording devices. On a recent visit in June, a Navy Times reporter was required to lock his cellphone in a small locker outside the turnstiles before entering. The guest was not made to go through a metal detector but was constantly escorted by a staff member.

These security rules are comparable with those at the Pentagon.

What does this mean? It means THE PENTAGON IS VULNERABLE! Obviously the 1,000,000,000+ terrorists in America have found this out and are decending on the Pentagon right now! As every NRA member knows, mass shootings happen because we don't have enough armed kindergarten teachers and husky 12-year-old boys around.

Fellow patriots, your orders are to find husky 12-year old boys are deliver them to Pastor Ezekiel's learjet at Freehold Airport. Due to limited space, each boy may be individually screened to test for sufficient huskiness.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: HOMELAND SECURITY UPDATE! CHECK DAILY!

Fellow patriots, it's time to lock and load.

I have heard reports that a public-school math teacher was teaching children ARABIC NUMERALS!

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: HOMELAND SECURITY UPDATE! CHECK DAILY!

Did I mention that the whole idea behind neoconservatism is that we cannot show any weakness whatesoever? I mean, street thugs may look like they're compensating for something, but you still don't mess with them, do you? "Let them think we're compensating for something, so long as they fear us".

Overreaction NEVER shows weakness. That's a sign of strength. Just ask anyone strong.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: HOMELAND SECURITY UPDATE! CHECK DAILY!

Ever notice someone snapping a photo of the State Capitol? Paying cash for a used car? Or buying a pre-paid cell phone? You have witnessed a terrorist! Report to the Security Detail for interrogation RIGHT NOW!

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: HOMELAND SECURITY UPDATE! CHECK DAILY!

Be on the lookout for young students in possession of curiosity, science labs, and anything that can be turned into something that will burn or do weird things when you ingest it:

Lewis Casey, an 18-year-old in Saskatchewan, had built a small chemistry lab in his family's garage near the university where he studies. Police arrived at his home with a search warrant and based on a quick survey of his lab determined that it was a meth lab. They pulled Casey out of the shower to interrogate him, and then arrested him.

A few days later, police admitted that Casey's chemistry lab wasn't a meth lab - but they kept him in jail, because he had some of the materials necessary to produce explosives.

Seems like a common occurance: everyone knows students, young people, and science-types are all up to something bad, even if we don't know exactly what, but it turns out there's a conspiracy: Friends and neighbors wrote dozens of letters to the court, testifying that Casey was innocent and merely a student who is really enthusiastic about chemistry.

Even his lawyer knows a suspicious amount about how to make I.E.D.s:

My client is a very intelligent young man . . . he's very keen in chemistry, a very curious young person and very capable, very knowledgeable in the area and he was always curious with regard to chemistry, chemical compounds, chemical reactions, that kind of thing. So from my client's point of view, it's completely innocent insofar as he had no intention of creating any explosives or explosive devices. As people probably know, anything in your house can constitute or be used in chemical or explosive devices, including sugar and cleaning compounds, Mr. Clean, bleach, detergents, all those sorts of things.

And where did he come across this info? Check their records: if they didn't spend last Spring Break drunk and disorderly in Mexico, they were obviously in an Al Queda training camp.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: HOMELAND SECURITY UPDATE! CHECK DAILY!

Terrorism doesn't just mean flying planes into buildings and throwing shoes, it also means sneaking peanut putter into public schools and, of course, sex offending.

The latest tactic of the sex offenders is something called "streaking". I'm not certain about the details, but it seems to be a sort of drive-by-bukkake, resulting in sticky white "streaks" on its victims.

I'm assuming it's like that because streakers are being registered as sex offenders:

...facing charges in the 10th Naked Pumpkin Run, a popular Oct. 31 tradition that involves pumpkin carving, beer and a late-night naked run down the mall.

All 12 people originally faced indecent exposure charges, which would have required them to register as sex offenders...

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: HOMELAND SECURITY UPDATE! CHECK DAILY!

PROOF that Haloween, science, and university students are linked to terrorism:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1083265/Students-Weird-science-Halloween-party-arrested-anti-terror-laws.html

Students in 'Weird Science' Halloween party arrested under anti-terror laws

Caretaker of the property, Richard Watson, 29, was arrested under The Anti-Terrorism Act and questioned while the entire area was evacuated and roads cordoned off with police tape.

He said: 'I was handcuffed and put in the back of the police van for over an hour while the bomb squad and drugs team came down.

'There was a ridiculous amount of police there. Every time I looked out of the van I could see a new group of them swarming around.'

Three fire engines and three ambulances were also called to the scene as Mr Watson was searched and interrogated...

Shanara Begum, 26, a spokesperson for Hackney Police said: 'A raid was conducted on the property and some paraphernalia was found. The London fire brigade and expo teams were also called to the scene.

'The expo teams deal with bomb threats and explosives but the scene was later declared non-suspicious and the case was handed over to Tower Hamlets our neighbouring borough.'

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: HOMELAND SECURITY UPDATE! CHECK DAILY!

October 9th:

We've known it all along - now a high-ranking general confirms it - phone sex is a threat to American security!

US Soldier's 'Phone Sex' Intercepted, Shared

Faulk says he and others in his section of the NSA facility at Fort Gordon routinely shared salacious or tantalizing phone calls that had been intercepted, alerting office mates to certain time codes of "cuts" that were available on each operator's computer.


"Hey, check this out," Faulk says he would be told, "there's good phone sex or there's some pillow talk, pull up this call, it's really funny, go check it out. It would be some colonel making pillow talk and we would say, 'Wow, this was crazy'," Faulk told ABC News.

In testimony before Congress, then-NSA director Gen. Michael Hayden, now director of the CIA, said private conversations of Americans are not intercepted.


"It's not for the heck of it. We are narrowly focused and drilled on protecting the nation against al Qaeda and those organizations who are affiliated with it," Gen. Hayden testified.

As a long-time studier of the evils of Big Phone Sex, I have no doubt that all those weird moans are actually coded messages from Al Queda. I'm sure with enough studying, we'll be able to find out what those codes mean. For example "wrong hole, daddy!" means "target golf and country clubs" and "No! Stop! Harder!" means "attack atargets of opportunity". Of course I'll need to do more research to confirm this.

And it's not just the phone sex industry in bed with Al Queda - so is the Red Cross and Doctors without Borders!

NSA awarded Adrienne Kinne a NSA Joint Service Achievement Medal in 2003 at the same time she says she was listening to hundreds of private conversations between Americans, including many from the International Red Cross and Doctors without Borders.


"We knew they were working for these aid organizations," Kinne told ABC News. "They were identified in our systems as 'belongs to the International Red Cross' and all these other organizations. And yet, instead of blocking these phone numbers we continued to collect on them," she told ABC News.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: HOMELAND SECURITY UPDATE! CHECK DAILY!

ALERT! TERRORISTS ARE EVERYWHERE! There are 8 year old terrorists, terrorist attorney generals, and even terrorist pilots who are allowed to bring guns onto their planes!

Worst of all, they have recieved sophisticated training in advanced infiltration tactics such as replacing their first name with an initial, or going by their middle name.

THERE ARE ONE MILLION TERRORISTS AMONG US AND THEY KNOW HOW TO USE INITIALS!

SAN FRANCISCO, California (CNN) -- James Robinson is a retired Air National Guard brigadier general and a commercial pilot for a major airline who flies passenger planes around the country.

He has even been certified by the Transportation Security Administration to carry a weapon into the cockpit as part of the government's defense program should a terrorist try to commandeer a plane.

But there's one problem: James Robinson, the pilot, has difficulty even getting to his plane because his name is on the government's terrorist "watch list."

....more than 1 million names have been added to the watch list since the September 11 attacks....

Besides the airline pilot, there's the James Robinson who served as U.S. attorney in Detroit, Michigan, and as an assistant attorney general in the Clinton administration; and James Robinson of California, who loves tennis, swimming and flying to the East Coast to see his grandmother.

He's 8.

The third-grader has been on the watch list since he was 5 years old. Asked whether he is a terrorist, he said, "I don't know."

...
Denise Robinson says she tells the skycaps her son is on the list, tips heavily and is given boarding passes. And booking her son as "J. Pierce Robinson" also has let the family bypass the watch list hassle.

Capt. James Robinson said he has learned that "Jim Robinson" and "J.K. Robinson" are not on the list.

And Griffin has tested its effectiveness. When he runs his first and middle name together when making a reservation online, he has no problem checking in at the airport.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: HOMELAND SECURITY UPDATE! CHECK DAILY!

GOD has warned Pat Robertson that a major terrorist attack is coming this year!

Yeah, God told me the same thing a couple of weeks ago. Sorry I forgot to mention it here. I guess there's still time....

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: HOMELAND SECURITY UPDATE! CHECK DAILY!

GOD has warned Pat Robertson that a major terrorist attack is coming this year!

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: HOMELAND SECURITY UPDATE! CHECK DAILY!

Job Opening:

Mole

Job Description:

Infiltrate terrorist potlucks, terrorist church groups, and terrorist bicycle rides. "Make aggressive moves", cause enough mayhem so that we can arrest everyone.

Requirements:

Must be friendly, personable, able to remember password if you get accidentally arrested.

Pay:

Undetermined amount, if you get someone arrested.

Contact:

FBI Joint Terrorism Task Force

Details:

http://articles.citypages.com/2008-05-21/news/moles-wanted/

“She told me that I had the perfect ‘look,’” recalls Carroll. “And that I had the perfect personality—they kept saying I was friendly and personable—for what they were looking for.”

What they were looking for, Carroll says, was an informant—someone to show up at “vegan potlucks” throughout the Twin Cities and rub shoulders with RNC protestors, schmoozing his way into their inner circles, then reporting back to the FBI’s Joint Terrorism Task Force...

Carroll would be compensated for his efforts, but only if his involvement yielded an arrest. No exact dollar figure was offered.

“I’ll pass,” said Carroll.

For 10 more minutes, Mazzola and Swanson tried to sway him. He remained obstinate.

“Well, if you change your mind, call this number,” said Mazzola, handing him her card with her cell phone number scribbled on the back.

(Mazzola, Swanson, and the FBI did not return numerous calls seeking comment.)

Carroll’s story echoes a familiar theme. During the lead-up the 2004 Republican National Convention in New York City, the NYPD’s Intelligence Division infiltrated and spied on protest groups across the country, as well as in Canada and Europe. The program’s scope extended to explicitly nonviolent groups, including street theater troupes and church organizations.

There were also two reported instances of police officers, dressed as protestors, purposefully instigating clashes. At the 2004 Republican National Convention, the NYPD orchestrated a fake arrest to incite protestors. When a blond man was “arrested,” nearby protestors began shouting, “Let him go!” The helmeted police proceeded to push back against the crowd with batons and arrested at least two. In a similar instance, during an April 29, 2005, Critical Mass bike ride in New York, video footage captured a “protestor”—in reality an undercover cop—telling his captor, “I’m on the job,” and being subsequently let go.

Minneapolis’s own recent Critical Mass skirmish was allegedly initiated by two unidentified stragglers in hoods—one wearing a handkerchief over his or her face—who “began to make aggressive moves” near the back of the pack. During that humid August 31 evening, officers went on to arrest 19 cyclists while unleashing pepper spray into the faces of bystanders. The hooded duo was never apprehended.

In the scuffle’s wake, conspiracy theories swirled that the unprecedented surveillance—squad cars from multiple agencies and a helicopter hovering overhead—was due to the presence of RNC protesters in the ride. The MPD publicly denied this. But during the trial of cyclist Gus Ganley, MPD Sgt. David Stichter testified that a task force had been created to monitor the August 31 ride and that the department knew that members of an RNC protest group would be along for the ride.

“This is all part of a larger government effort to quell political dissent,” says Jordan Kushner, an attorney who represented Ganley and other Critical Mass arrestees. “The Joint Terrorism Task Force is another example of using the buzzword ‘terrorism’ as a basis to clamp down on people’s freedoms and push forward a more authoritarian government.”

[Justina Thyme]

Re: HOMELAND SECURITY UPDATE! CHECK DAILY!

Dr. Laurie, did any of your surveillance cams happen to catch the little wetback kid who did this? Granted, they all look alike, but sometimes you can tell which is which by their markings.

I cannot stress enough how much we here should pay attention to Brother Jeb's sound advice. It would be a great comfort to me to know that big, strong, Brother Jeb were up and ready to lead my slim, helpless, feminine self to a well-concealed place of safety with him. Praise!