X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • What would Jesus do?

    This made me think about you guys!



    Jesus loves you seriously bigtime. He’d hug you until your eyeballs exploded out of your skull if he ever met you. He’d windsurf across oceans of dead Nazis which he personally slaughtered just to tell you that your new haircut is the bee’s knees. Jesus is like the monster truck of love and you are an old Geo Metro which he will roar his massive engine over and crush your pathetic fiberglass frame into a crumpled heap. Praise Jesus, especially when it’s sunny outside because Jesus would totally be cool with you praising while you get a nice tan.

    - Ecclesiastes xii.7

  • #2
    Re: What would Jesus do?

    Why this make you think of True Cristians Baptists? True Cristians are unite allway ¿no?

    Is the others sects like católicos and protestants and Anglecans that they do this things like argue , is not?

    Sorry, but remember I am still learning and am a few ignorant some times for this things, but I think you have understand True Cristianism wrong and confuse it whit false cults.

    YIC, Mari.
    Ex JW and quiet, shy, timid girl who wants to be a True Cristian Lady.
    My favorite verse from the Bible is:
    - A true WITNESSE deliuereth soules: but a deceitfull WITNESSE speaketh lyes.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: What would Jesus do?

      I become almost ill when I see Jesus mocked in this way.
      Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: What would Jesus do?

        Jesus was a carpenter, and I often think about what He might have made. A lot of people DO misrepresent Him, I know - but I imagine that if His disciples boats needed attention, He'd have helped them fix it up (rather than giving them money).

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: What would Jesus do?

          Originally posted by Dutch Girl View Post
          This made me think about you guys!
          Girl,

          do not moke God, think about the Afterlife!Always remember that your Sodom and Gomorrah will be fluted out-and-out in ten or twenty years.
          BTW japs have already ceased to challenge God.

          Proverbs 1:7 King James Version (KJV)
          The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: What would Jesus do?

            Originally posted by BaronOB View Post
            Girl,

            do not moke God, think about the Afterlife!Always remember that your Sodom and Gomorrah will be fluted out-and-out in ten or twenty years.
            BTW japs have already ceased to challenge God.

            http://www.av1611.org/hell.html
            Yet, you use non-PC terms to describe racial groups and make a joke out of the English language with poor spelling.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: What would Jesus do?

              Originally posted by Pablo Escobar View Post
              Yet, you use non-PC terms to describe racial groups and make a joke out of the English language with poor spelling.

              Muchos tacos Mr Messicant. Why don't Messicants grill out? The beans keep falling through the grill gates.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: What would Jesus do?

                Originally posted by James Dewitt View Post
                Muchos tacos Mr Messicant. Why don't Messicants grill out? The beans keep falling through the grill gates.
                Brother Dewitt! I had no idea you were as funny as a professional comedian! HAHAHA! Seriously, I wonder if you can parlay your talent into saving souls with the glory of laughter! Praise God!

                Do you have any messican't jokes about them not making all the way across the Rio Grande?! Those wacky beaners!


                Giggling In The Blood Of Christ,
                Harry Lester
                Slathered in the Fresh Hot Blood of the Infant Christ,
                -Youth Minister Harry Lester

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: What would Jesus do?

                  Originally posted by Youth Minister Harry View Post
                  Brother Dewitt! I had no idea you were as funny as a professional comedian! HAHAHA! Seriously, I wonder if you can parlay your talent into saving souls with the glory of laughter! Praise God!

                  Do you have any messican't jokes about them not making all the way across the Rio Grande?! Those wacky beaners!


                  Giggling In The Blood Of Christ,
                  Harry Lester

                  Ok Ok here are a couple more, I was saving them for church on Sunday.

                  What do you call a messicant whore?
                  Freeholeole

                  Did you hear why the EPA has stopped all the Messicants from crossing the RIO Grand?

                  The beaners kept leaving oil slicks on the water.

                  Everyone knows that you cant save a beaner from Hell, they are Catliks

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: What would Jesus do?

                    Originally posted by James Dewitt View Post
                    Ok Ok here are a couple more, I was saving them for church on Sunday.

                    What do you call a messicant whore?
                    Freeholeole

                    Did you hear why the EPA has stopped all the Messicants from crossing the RIO Grand?

                    The beaners kept leaving oil slicks on the water.

                    Everyone knows that you cant save a beaner from Hell, they are Catliks
                    AAHHHAHA!!! SIR! You are a comic GENIUS! If those silly chimichangas could understand you, they'd be laughing too hard to swim here to begin with!

                    I cannot WAIT to share these with the boy's youth group. We are all going to be rolling around on the floor together until we are hurting!Shout GLORY!

                    Hysterical In The Blood Of Jesus,
                    Harry Lester
                    Slathered in the Fresh Hot Blood of the Infant Christ,
                    -Youth Minister Harry Lester

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: What would Jesus do?

                      Originally posted by Ditch Girl View Post
                      This made me think about you guys!
                      Ditch Girl, Jesus would -- and will -- hurl you screaming into eternal torment in His Lake of Fire.
                      Bible boring? Nonsense!
                      Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                      You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X