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Ain't he just a doll-Baby? 
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Re: Blessed Birthday, WINNER NOT SINNER!
Congratulations. You're young so you're not getting a gift from me.5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
- Protect your family the Christian way! Get your daughter raped!
- Only Sluts Get Raped! (1st Timothy 2:9)
- Down syndrome is a lifestyle choice!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."Comment
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Re: Blessed Birthday, WINNER NOT SINNER!
One step closer to Jesus!The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Re: Blessed Birthday, WINNER NOT SINNER!
Happy Birthday, Brother!
Next time you have some free time, stop by. I have some lovely birthday pie for you.
"Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him." Matthew 21:31-32
An Important Reminder for all unSaved© Ladies
Protect Yourself! Important Information about Demons
MyfiveSix Step Guide to Stopping Your Miserable Harlotry!
Do you hate fornication? Join the Junior Anti-Sex League and help stop it today!
An Open Question to All false christians.
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Re: Blessed Birthday, WINNER NOT SINNER!
Happy birthday brother! Next time we are at the Landover Mens Club, I'll buy you a couple or rounds. This is a totally heterosexual friendship gesture.Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.Comment
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Re: Blessed Birthday, WINNER NOT SINNER!
Oooh, Sister Lycia, might this be the 'high end' version of Biblically-Correct Dungbread?
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Re: Blessed Birthday, WINNER NOT SINNER!
Thank you SUV, Daisy, James, Cranky and Lycia! How blessed I am to be surrounded by such a nice community of Heaven bound people! I think I'll dedicate this birthday to Jesus for being amazing!
I'll see you all at Church later, I don't expect presents from anyone older than me. Those kids in the story circle better cough up though.6A woman came up to me the other day, 12/6/2016 and said:
"But Mr. Winner, if GOD loves everyone then why is there so much suffering in the world?"
Because GOD doesn't love everyone. Too many people have this absurd idea in their heads that GOD is all loving.
If he was all loving, then murderers, thieves and homosexuals would be waiting for you in Heaven.
GOD doesn't open his gate to just anyone. Being a True Christian™ is like a Queue Jump ticket at Disney, we are guaranteed a ride with JESUS.Comment
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Re: Blessed Birthday, WINNER NOT SINNER!
I am not allowed in the church proper, Mr. Winner, so please allow me to wish you a happy birthday here instead.
I'm sorry if I ruined your birthday thread. I shouldn't be here.
This was a mistake, I am ashamed. I don't want to offend you by ignoring your birthday, but I don't want to ruin your birthday with my slouching bulk, either!
I can't win... I hope I die for your birthday! I will pray for my death on your birthday, this is the best gift I can offer to you.The vine is dried up, and the fig tree languisheth; the pomegranate tree, the palm tree also, and the apple tree, even all the trees of the field, are withered: because joy is withered away from the sons of men.~Joel 1:12
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Re: Blessed Birthday, WINNER NOT SINNER!
Of course, though, Pastor will be expecting one from you!Originally posted by WinnerNotSinner View Post
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Re: Blessed Birthday, WINNER NOT SINNER!
Amen sister. Let's not forget the special "Birthday Tithe" expected from each and every member of the congregation.Originally posted by SUV View PostOf course, though, Pastor will be expecting one from you!
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
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Re: Blessed Birthday, WINNER NOT SINNER!
UH-oh. Have you told him about that yet, Pastor?Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View PostAmen sister. Let's not forget the special "Birthday Tithe" expected from each and every member of the congregation.
And do you think you can give him one big enough to cover me for the next couple of months? Eek!Comment
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Re: Blessed Birthday, WINNER NOT SINNER!
I had never heard of the birthday tithe but I gave nearly everything I have today, I feel so good since none of it is really mine anyway! (Leviticus 27:30)
I was going to buy my son something special for his birthday on Wednesday, but with all the bills I have to pay mounting up and the weekly tithing (I'm aiming for silver!) it looks like I'll just have to give him my wheelbarrow and hatchet to play with.
He will probably cry again like the last time I saved up for him when the January 27th Tithing week hit.
6A woman came up to me the other day, 12/6/2016 and said:
"But Mr. Winner, if GOD loves everyone then why is there so much suffering in the world?"
Because GOD doesn't love everyone. Too many people have this absurd idea in their heads that GOD is all loving.
If he was all loving, then murderers, thieves and homosexuals would be waiting for you in Heaven.
GOD doesn't open his gate to just anyone. Being a True Christian™ is like a Queue Jump ticket at Disney, we are guaranteed a ride with JESUS.Comment
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