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  • Faith_Machine
    Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
    True Christian™
    • Mar 2011
    • 10049

    #196
    Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex!

    Truly, you are a Godly young lady! I've been praying extra hard for our Forty Niners, as I fear at least two thirds of the team are homosexuals. San Francisco has a way of rubbing off on a guy.
    WARNING:
    In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
    REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

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    • ditzygurl83
      Unsaved trash
       
      • Jan 2012
      • 160

      #197
      Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex!

      That is so terrible!! Half of them being cob swallowers....disgusts me!! I visit a few of the football players each night before a game to help them pray and to spread the word of the Lord. Of course I bring my pie with me so they can each have a slice and I am on my knees praying my hardest for them!!

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      • Faith_Machine
        Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
        True Christian™
        • Mar 2011
        • 10049

        #198
        Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex!

        That's so nice! I wish they all could be more like Tim Tebow.
        WARNING:
        In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
        REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

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        • Mary Etheldreda
          Gushing for Jesus
           
          • Sep 2011
          • 23775

          #199
          Reminder that even while corn on the cob season is upon us, it is a Gay Food to be avoided by decent Christian Men and Women.
          Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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          • handmaiden
            Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
            True Christian™
            • May 2010
            • 11226

            #200
            Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
            Reminder that even while corn on the cob season is upon us, it is a Gay Food to be avoided by decent Christian Men and Women.
            I think that bananas are the greater threat, but sure.
            His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

            Guns For God and the Economy

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            • Isabella White
              True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
               
              • Mar 2019
              • 4276

              #201
              Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
              Reminder that even while corn on the cob season is upon us, it is a Gay Food to be avoided by decent Christian Men and Women.
              Amen, dear Sister Mary! Why, the very thoughts of what those homersexualists do with those corn cobs is beyond being revolting! One can only imagine all sorts of naughty pleasure that they receive, with their twisted, perverted desires dictated to them by Satan. And, it looks as though they are very proud of it, too — willingly bragging for all the world to see!



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              (Mrs.) Isabella White

              Hebrews 10:19 " Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "

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              • Larry Lee
                Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God
                True Christian™ Theologian
                True Christian™
                • Sep 2006
                • 4464

                #202
                Praise God the season of the corn cob has passed over us, much like God Himself passing over the Israelites as He proceeded to smite the Egyptians (Exodus 12:13​). HOWEVER! We must not succumb to complacency—Because we have now entered the season of Miscegenous Apple Eating! Our God warns us in Song of Solomon 2:3 that Solomon's buxom colored girl practiced unsavory acts upon Solomon's apples:

                "As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste."

                Solomon resisted each excruciating moment of that girl knelling in his shadow and delighting in the taste of his apples. Only a man of God as strong as Solomon (and Pastor Zeke) could endure such treatment and hold back his hallelujahs until the ordeal was over.... But that's not true of every man.

                Brothers, we need to be on the look out for negresses this time of year because the Bible tells us they all have their eyes on your apples.
                sigpic

                I loved Newt before Newt was invincible

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