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  • Father Maurice Lester
    Ring-kissing Papist dog
    • Sep 2006
    • 3366

    #1

    Baptist Icon married for 7th time!

    Is Jerry Lee Lewis trying to become a Mormon or is this just a show of support for GOP nominee "Oven" Mitt Romney?

    This makes me wonder if there is much difference at all between either of these cults... especially considering Mr. Lewis once married his thirteen year old cousin... legally.

    Then there is the matter of his disgraced Baptist cousin and serial tear-spiller Jimmy Swaggart who has employed more call-girls than a Bangalore phone center.


    Time for these sinners to get right with Christ and what better time to join His Church than Easter Weekend!


    May all of you here (could the two literates read this for the others) enjoy His blessing and remember that after dying temporarily for your sins Jesus tasked St. Peter with bringing His Church and His Gospel to the world!



    Bless you, my Cathedral-challenged costards,
    Father Mo




    .
    A Cardinal in the making.

  • Wide-Open
    Director of European Evangelical Outreach
    A Shining Example of Christ's Love
    Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
    True Christian™
    • Nov 2007
    • 18449

    #2
    Re: Baptist Icon married for 7th time!

    Originally posted by Father Maurice Lester View Post
    Is Jerry Lee Lewis trying to become a Mormon or is this just a show of support for GOP nominee "Oven" Mitt Romney?
    Friend, that is no skin off our backs. He is a BINO. (Baptist In Name Only)

    Is he a member of the Landover Baptist Church? No? Right, there you go. Case solved.

    May all of you here (could the two literates read this for the others)
    I'm not sure what you are implying here.

    Jesus tasked St. Peter with bringing His Church and His Gospel to the world!
    After which Peter took the TGV to Rome I suppose? Oh wait, no, that train wasn't invented yet. Perhaps an early version of the pope-mobile?

    So how was the fish yesterday? Snappy?
    Psalm 81:10:
    I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
    open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

    Comment

    • SUV
      True Christian™ Princess
      The Driving Force behind RA12
      Have at it, anytime!
      • Sep 2006
      • 11027

      #3
      Re: Baptist Icon married for 7th time!

      I Believe I missed again

      Comment

      • Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.
        Scientific Advisor
        True Christian™
        • Sep 2006
        • 2373

        #4
        Re: Baptist Icon married for 7th time!

        What a blessing! To find true love not once, not twice, not three times, not four times, not five times, not six times but SEVEN times. And I suspect that this will be the one that makes it: remember, 7 is the Biblical number of completion, as it took 7 days to create the Earth. Praise the Lord, someday maybe my bride will make herself known
        Trump 2020: "For Real This Time"

        Comment

        • Pastor Ezekiel
          Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
           
          • Sep 2006
          • 78556

          #5
          Re: Baptist Icon married for 7th time!

          He does sing the Christian heavy metal. I suppose it reaches the teenagers and turns them into hippies.

          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment

          • Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.
            Scientific Advisor
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2006
            • 2373

            #6
            Re: Baptist Icon married for 7th time!

            Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
            He does sing the Christian heavy metal. I suppose it reaches the teenagers and turns them into hippies.
            Goodness, what is that trash?? Is this the same man who once ate a bat live in the pulpit?

            Whatever happened to the good musicians like Charles Wesley? It saddens me when his classics are replaced by the hard-rock in churches today. Even if they can't preach the Bible accurately, they should at least get the hymns right. What a fallen world we live in today
            Trump 2020: "For Real This Time"

            Comment

            • Zechariah Smyth
              Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
              True Christian™
              • Feb 2011
              • 15251

              #7
              Re: Baptist Icon married for 7th time!

              I thought Newt Gingrich had only been married 3 times?



              Yours in Christ (NOT MARY),

              Zech
              sigpic

              Comment

              • Didymus Much
                Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
                • Jun 2010
                • 14079

                #8
                Re: Baptist Icon married for 7th time!

                Rev. Osborne has some catching up to do, then?

                Comment

                • SUV
                  True Christian™ Princess
                  The Driving Force behind RA12
                  Have at it, anytime!
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 11027

                  #9
                  Re: Baptist Icon married for 7th time!

                  Johnny Cash said in an interview that old Jerry Lee used to keep on telling them they were all Doomed to Hell for performing the Devil's Music. But he kept on doing it. I wonder why?
                  Surely a Christian would not have kept on singing about his Great Balls of Fire for mercenary reasons only.

                  Comment

                  • Faith_Machine
                    Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                    True Christian™
                    • Mar 2011
                    • 10050

                    #10
                    Re: Baptist Icon married for 7th time!

                    Wait, what? Listen, I'm a recovering Jew, and as such, I know a thing or two about who's Jewish and who isn't; I can tell you with absolute certainty that Jerry Lewis is most definitely Jewish, and not a Baptist. In fact, his given name was Joseph Levitch.

                    I know he's Jewish because his attorney is a friend of my family's, and actually handled the civil suit which resulted from my botched bris.
                    WARNING:
                    In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                    REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                    Comment

                    • Pastor Ezekiel
                      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                       
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 78556

                      #11
                      Re: Baptist Icon married for 7th time!

                      Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
                      Wait, what? Listen, I'm a recovering Jew, and as such, I know a thing or two about who's Jewish and who isn't; I can tell you with absolute certainty that Jerry Lewis is most definitely Jewish, and not a Baptist. In fact, his given name was Joseph Levitch.

                      I know he's Jewish because his attorney is a friend of my family's, and actually handled the civil suit which resulted from my botched bris.
                      Sweet Jesus, you're right!
                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                      Comment

                      • Faith_Machine
                        Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                        True Christian™
                        • Mar 2011
                        • 10050

                        #12
                        Re: Baptist Icon married for 7th time!

                        I tell you, the thought of that man putting his Jewey hands all over some thirteen year old girl just turns my skin and makes my stomach crawl.
                        WARNING:
                        In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                        REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                        Comment

                        • SUV
                          True Christian™ Princess
                          The Driving Force behind RA12
                          Have at it, anytime!
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 11027

                          #13
                          Re: Baptist Icon married for 7th time!

                          Also, he just lurves all the retards and gimps who crawl & drool across his stage on Labor Day while, joo that he is, he begs Good Christian Folk for matzoh Money.

                          Vile

                          Comment

                          • Fleur-de-lis
                            Confirmed Enemy of God
                            • Apr 2012
                            • 161

                            #14
                            Re: Baptist Icon married for 7th time!

                            Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
                            I tell you, the thought of that man putting his Jewey hands all over some thirteen year old girl just turns my skin and makes my stomach crawl.
                            But you're okay with Christian men marrying thirteen-year-old girls?

                            And you do know that his first cousin is "Christian" evangelist Jimmy Swaggart, right?

                            Comment

                            • Wide-Open
                              Director of European Evangelical Outreach
                              A Shining Example of Christ's Love
                              Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
                              True Christian™
                              • Nov 2007
                              • 18449

                              #15
                              Re: Baptist Icon married for 7th time!

                              Originally posted by Fleur-de-lis View Post
                              But you're okay with Christian men marrying thirteen-year-old girls?
                              Don't be silly. The Bible tells us to obey secular law. So you won't find a single True Christian(TM) married with a 13 year old.

                              Now if you had said 14, that would have been totally different. Perfectly legal in Hawaii, Iowa (with parental consent obviously), and South-Carolina (same remark).

                              Don't blame us for state laws, miss Lilly!
                              Psalm 81:10:
                              I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
                              open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

                              Comment

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