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  • Rev. M. Rodimer
    Honorary True Christian™
    Forum Member
    • May 2008
    • 13996
    #46
    Re: Hey! Sinners!

    Originally posted by Rev Anne View Post
    Actually, I have read the Bible. Somebody decided to edit my message and add "n't" to the end of "did." Again, somebody here is bearing false witness against me.
    Pastors, Anne here read parts of the Bible (like Numbers 31) and found she didn't like everything God had to say. These are the parts her Anglican't Overlord, Father Feelgood, told her not to bother reading because they were unpleasant.

    Having read them and that God is a big mean bully, Anne has decided would rather go to Hell than worship Him.
    Bible boring? Nonsense!
    Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
    You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

      Comment

      • Pastor Ezekiel
        Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
         
        • Sep 2006
        • 78556
        #47
        Re: Hey! Sinners!

        Originally posted by Rev Anne View Post
        Actually, I have read the Bible. Somebody decided to edit my message and add "n't" to the end of "did." Again, somebody here is bearing false witness against me.
        Riiiiight. And I suppose someone used photoshop to paint those green sores all over you arms too?

        John 8:43 Why do ye not understand my speech? even because ye cannot hear my word. 8:44 Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it. 8:45 And because I tell you the truth, ye believe me not.
        Why should we believe you?
        Who Will Jesus Damn?

        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment

          • SUV
            True Christian™ Princess
            The Driving Force behind RA12
            Have at it, anytime!
            • Sep 2006
            • 11027
            #48
            Re: Hey! Sinners!

            Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
            Sister SUV, I cannot find "Flit" in my KJV. What, pray tell, is a Flit?
            Here's the "Flit" Rev. Rodimer - good for what itches her!

              Comment

              • Rev. M. Rodimer
                Honorary True Christian™
                Forum Member
                • May 2008
                • 13996
                #49
                Re: Hey! Sinners!

                Originally posted by SUV View Post
                Here's the "Flit" Rev. Rodimer - good for what itches her!

                Oh, I see! Thanks!

                Now I feel like a silly Flithead.
                Bible boring? Nonsense!
                Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                  Comment

                  • Ann the jewess
                    A "Mostly Straight" Gal
                    • Aug 2008
                    • 117
                    #50
                    Re: Hey! Sinners!

                    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                    Riiiiight. And I suppose someone used photoshop to paint those green sores all over you arms too?
                    1- The picture still isn't me. You can say it's me all you want, but it still won't be me (although, I have to admit, I wish I did look more like her; I could stand to loose about twenty to thirty pounds. Never ever wanted a tatoo, though).
                    2- People who say that is me are, once again, bearing false witness witch is a direct violation of the Ten Commandments. That makes you a hypocrite and Jesus hates hypocrites.

                      Comment

                      • Brother Temperance
                        Senior Usher
                        True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
                        A very nice young man
                        True Christian™
                        • Sep 2006
                        • 15621
                        #51
                        Re: Hey! Sinners!

                        Originally posted by Rev Anne View Post
                        2- People who say that is me are, once again, bearing false witness witch...
                        You're the only witch here, witch!
                        O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                        God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                          Comment

                          • SUV
                            True Christian™ Princess
                            The Driving Force behind RA12
                            Have at it, anytime!
                            • Sep 2006
                            • 11027
                            #52
                            Re: Hey! Sinners!

                            Only thing that bothers me are the upper arms; looks like big, black ants are going to come crawling out at any moment:

                            Last edited by SUV; 08-29-2008, 09:15 PM.

                              Comment

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