X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • Born Again Bob
    True Christian™
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 2318

    #1

    True Christian Programming

    (in reply to a plaintive Spaniard on another thread -- but I'd like to see others share their True Christian™ Code as well):

    Dear Friend,

    Here is a BASIC solution to your problem.

    10 REM Directions for Whiners

    20 PRINT "Read the book of Job, type D when done"

    25 INPUT DonePrompt$

    30 PRINT "So, are you still whining (Y/N)?"

    40 INPUT Whinge$

    50 If Whinge$ = "N" then print "Thank God"

    60 If Whinge$ = "N" then END

    70 REM Following directions will run if the sinner does not say he has shut his filthy complaint hole

    80 PRINT "Try again!"

    90 GOTO 20

    100 REM user will never get here -- like a griper to Heaven

    110 REM all rights reserved Totally Tubular Coding LLC 1989

    Yours in Him,
    bab <--- on the Oregon Train to Glory Whole
  • lukasekman
    True Christian™
    True Christian™
    • Mar 2011
    • 614

    #2
    Re: True Christian Programming

    Sweet clean code, free from any trace of bloatware infection, Brother Bob

    sigpicCorporal Punishment Advisor, U.S. Department of Family Values
    Cyber-bullying Instructor, Christian Commission on Human Rights
    Apple CEO is gay - Important DFV security considerations
    Higgs field theory disproved - Universe is a cotton field
    Viagra forces man to have his penis amputated

    Comment

    • Faith_Machine
      Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
      True Christian™
      • Mar 2011
      • 10050

      #3
      Re: True Christian Programming

      I was hoping this would be a guide to good, clean television. Everything on TV is filth nowadays. Just yesterday I happened to find myself watching an episode of Petticoat Junction and before I realized it, I was almost on the verge of harboring impure thoughts.

      Naturally, I turned off the TV and spent about twenty minutes in my prayer closet.

      Brother Bob, do you think you could write some sort of program that I could install in my cable box's firmware? Something to keep the filth out?
      WARNING:
      In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
      REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

      Comment

      • Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.
        Scientific Advisor
        True Christian™
        • Sep 2006
        • 2373

        #4
        Re: True Christian Programming

        Good work, Brother Bob! I've taught a few programming classes in my time as a graduate research assistant. One of my big contributions to the field of computer science was a compiler that ensures that there are no consecutive 6's in any part of your compiled program. It was a masterpiece! Any change in program behavior was more than offset by the job of knowing that your creation wasn't going to damn you to Hell. I'm certain that I've saved a modest 10-12,000 lives from this simple idea!
        Trump 2020: "For Real This Time"

        Comment

        • Rev. M. Rodimer
          Honorary True Christian™
          Forum Member
          • May 2008
          • 13996

          #5
          Re: True Christian Programming

          I was hoping this would be a thread giving insights into the Landover Rehabilitation Unit's amazingly successful methods.
          Bible boring? Nonsense!
          Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
          You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

          Comment

          • FriendlyAtheist
            Unsaved Trash, degenerate godmocker
            • Aug 2012
            • 18

            #6
            Re: True Christian Programming

            Ahh, good to see a fellow programmer! Some robust code there!

            Kind regards,

            FriendlyAtheist.
            Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done
            abominable works, there is none that doeth good.

            Comment

            Working...