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  • Faith_Machine
    Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
    True Christian™
    • Mar 2011
    • 10050
    #1

    I'm in a melancholy mood.

    As some of you may remember, I'm awfully fond of Mari Galvez Villalobos. I haven't heard from her in a long time, however, and I fear something terrible may have happened. I'm worried she's either been swept off her feed by some Spanish Lothario or she's fallen back into the Jehovah's Witness nonsense she'd been trying to escape.

    Mari, if you're out there, please know I am thinking of you. This song's for you, Mari. Every time I hear it, I have silly romantic thoughts of what it would be like if we were married.

    WARNING:
    In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
    REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
    Tags: None
    • Faith_Machine
      Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
      True Christian™
      • Mar 2011
      • 10050
      #2
      Re: I'm in a melancholy mood.

      I'm still very sad. Maybe it's time for me to ask God to find me some other woman to be my bride?
      WARNING:
      In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
      REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

        Comment

        • James Hutchins
          True Christian™
          Just a Regular Nice Guy
           
          • Jun 2009
          • 29453
          #3
          Re: I'm in a melancholy mood.

          I heard she was 'working on back taxes' or 'working on her back to pay taxes' or something like that.
          I do know Jesus has not asked me to think about her anymore and so I focus on Godly Americans instead.
          Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
          Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
          Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
          Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
          Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
          Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

            Comment

            • Faith_Machine
              Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
              True Christian™
              • Mar 2011
              • 10050
              #4
              Re: I'm in a melancholy mood.

              Mr. Hutchins, did you still have a few daughters you were looking to marry off?
              WARNING:
              In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
              REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                Comment

                • HorseMetal
                  Confirmed Enemy of God
                  • Nov 2012
                  • 2
                  #5
                  Re: I'm in a melancholy mood.

                  Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
                  I heard she was 'working on back taxes' or 'working on her back to pay taxes' or something like that.
                  I do know Jesus has not asked me to think about her anymore and so I focus on Godly Americans instead.
                  James, you are an evil, evil man. If there was a Heaven and Hell, it would be assured that you burn for eternity. Don't worry though, there is no such thing. When you die, you die, and that is the end.

                    Comment

                    • Pastor Ezekiel
                      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                       
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 78556
                      #6
                      Re: I'm in a melancholy mood.

                      Originally posted by HorseMetal View Post
                      James, you are an evil, evil man. If there was a Heaven and Hell, it would be assured that you burn for eternity. Don't worry though, there is no such thing. When you die, you die, and that is the end.
                      Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

                      And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.
                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                        Comment

                        • Faith_Machine
                          Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                          True Christian™
                          • Mar 2011
                          • 10050
                          #7
                          Re: I'm in a melancholy mood.

                          Originally posted by HorseMetal View Post
                          James, you are an evil, evil man. If there was a Heaven and Hell, it would be assured that you burn for eternity. Don't worry though, there is no such thing. When you die, you die, and that is the end.

                          Wow, seeing you attack poor Mr. Hutchins like that just served as a reminder of how wretched people can become when they don't know the Lord. I will include you in my prayers.
                          WARNING:
                          In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                          REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                            Comment

                            • Matthew Hopkins
                              True Christian™
                              • Oct 2012
                              • 808
                              #8
                              Re: I'm in a melancholy mood.

                              And you are in my prayers, Brother Faith. I feel sure that sooner, rather than later, the good Lord will provide you with a True Christian(tm) lady, who will know her place.

                              In the meantime, why don't you visit with me in MO? I'll send the Lear to pick you up. My team of twelve Messican chamber maids are ready to make your stay as comfortable as possible. And there's good hunting to be had on the mountain. Occasionally we have escaped mental patients, and boy, can they run!

                              I'll tell Consuela to make up the guest wing.

                              YBIC

                                Comment

                                • Holyfield
                                  Forum Member
                                  Forum Member
                                  • Apr 2011
                                  • 245
                                  #9
                                  Re: I'm in a melancholy mood.

                                  I am sorry Faith, but I don't think she will be back. I found her facebook-page where she has joined among others the following groups:
                                  I Hate the Landover Baptist Church
                                  God Hates Landover Baptist Church
                                  Christians for Universal Love and Tolerance
                                  and can you imagine I lost my Forum Member status because of that girl! Oh well it serves me right, stupid me...
                                  Matt 5:17-20 "Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil. For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled. Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven:..."

                                    Comment

                                    • Faith_Machine
                                      Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                                      True Christian™
                                      • Mar 2011
                                      • 10050
                                      #10
                                      Re: I'm in a melancholy mood.

                                      Thank you for the kind offer, Mr. Hopkins! I graciously accept, and look forward to being able to get on a plane without TSA giving me grief over my hunting knives.

                                      Holyfield, you must be thinking of a different Mari Galvez Villalobos.
                                      WARNING:
                                      In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                                      REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                                        Comment

                                        • Matthew Hopkins
                                          True Christian™
                                          • Oct 2012
                                          • 808
                                          #11
                                          Re: I'm in a melancholy mood.

                                          Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
                                          Thank you for the kind offer, Mr. Hopkins! I graciously accept, and look forward to being able to get on a plane without TSA giving me grief over my hunting knives.
                                          Amen, Brother! The jet is now at the usual airstrip, refuelling on the way back from Tijuana Houston. Both the bar and dispensary are fully stocked, I'll see you later!

                                          YBIC

                                            Comment

                                            • Faith_Machine
                                              Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                                              True Christian™
                                              • Mar 2011
                                              • 10050
                                              #12
                                              Re: I'm in a melancholy mood.

                                              I sure hope you like single malt Scotch, because I'm bringing an eighteen year old!
                                              WARNING:
                                              In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                                              REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                                                Comment

                                                • Matthew Hopkins
                                                  True Christian™
                                                  • Oct 2012
                                                  • 808
                                                  #13
                                                  Re: I'm in a melancholy mood.

                                                  Why, that's perfect, Brother! I find the 12 year olds usually lack sufficient 'body' to be truly satisfying.

                                                  YBIC

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