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  • Boring Jerry
    Confirmed Enemy of God
    BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
    • May 2008
    • 225
    #16
    Re: Bless the Blessed Birthday of PASTOR AL E. PISTLE!

    Sorry, I misunderstood. I thought it was 1 from you, 1 from your husband, and 1 from Zeke.

      Comment

      • Pastor Ezekiel
        Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
         
        • Sep 2006
        • 78556
        #17
        Re: Bless the Blessed Birthday of PASTOR AL E. PISTLE!

        Originally posted by Alex_B View Post
        Sorry, I misunderstood. I thought it was 1 from you, 1 from your husband, and 1 from Zeke.
        Anyway, what's so strange about it? Who doesn't enjoy a Hummer?
        Who Will Jesus Damn?

        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment

          • Eugene Hackwith
            Farmer for Christ™
            True Christian™
            • Jan 2008
            • 736
            #18
            Re: Bless the Blessed Birthday of PASTOR AL E. PISTLE!

            Does Pastor Pistle enjoy cold, hard cash? Lord knows I don't have a lot, but I have 1000 bushels of corn that I can take to the grain barge tomorrow and sell. It's no Hummer, but maybe he can buy some accessories for them.
            A baby is a human being, not a stem cell!

            Psalm 139:19-20
            Surely thou wilt slay the wicked, O God: depart from me therefore, ye bloody men.
            For they speak against thee wickedly, and thine enemies take thy name in vain.

              Comment

              • Brother Lindh
                Confirmed Enemy of God
                BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                • Feb 2007
                • 130
                #19
                Re: Bless the Blessed Birthday of PASTOR AL E. PISTLE!

                I have sent Pastor Pistle a liter of type O blood. Having been pasteurized and homogenized it can be used intravenously or "on the rocks", so to speak. A dash of Red Savina habanero goes well with it, too. Makes good red beer also, using Godly Coors.

                Praise Jesus!

                  Comment

                  • Brother Lindh
                    Confirmed Enemy of God
                    BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                    • Feb 2007
                    • 130
                    #20
                    Re: Bless the Blessed Birthday of PASTOR AL E. PISTLE!

                    Originally posted by Glendora Christianson View Post
                    Elmer and I couldn't afford a Hummer, so we got him a Bass Boat with a Godly 225 horsepower 2 cycle outboard engine. I can't wait to show Pastor Pistle how pretty and shiny that outboard makes the surface of the lake!
                    "Godly 225HP 2 cycle"? It certainly must have been made by God because there is no such engine made here on earth. As you know, Glendora, Jesus picks up on these kind of lies. You may well find a headless 4 cycle engine on the pillow next to you some morning, leaking oil.

                      Comment

                      • Justina Thyme
                        Exposing DEMONS for Jesus
                        True Christian™
                        • Dec 2007
                        • 1718
                        #21
                        Re: Bless the Blessed Birthday of PASTOR AL E. PISTLE!

                        Now, now, Brother Lindh, I'm sure that's just a typo on Mother Glendora's part. She would never knowingly offend or lie to anyone, much less our Godly Pastor Al. And your gift to him sounds quite... toothsome.

                        Mr. Thyme and I are offering him the services for one year, free of charge, of our gorillas business associates whenever he requires their assistance for any [legal or moral trouble[s/] situation he may find himself in that is too complex for him to handle alone. For my own part, here is his birthday cake:



                        GLORY!
                        Last edited by Justina Thyme; 06-20-2008, 09:25 PM.
                        Mark 16:17 And these attesting signs will accompany those who believe: in My Name they will drive out demons.

                        1 Kings 21:14 Then they sent to Jezebel, saying, Naboth is stoned . . .

                        A SPIRITUAL WARFARE PRAYER:
                         Father, In Jesus' Name, I take the Blood of Jesus and break the power of all witches, warlocks, wizards, satanists, sorcerers, wiccans, pagans, and any other source, and all of their rituals off of us. With the Blood of Jesus, I erase all evil lines drawn on our liver. . .
                        LANDOVER BAPTIST DEMON HUNTING PERMIT #00666-27

                         sigpic



                          Comment

                          • SUV
                            True Christian™ Princess
                            The Driving Force behind RA12
                            Have at it, anytime!
                            • Sep 2006
                            • 11027
                            #22
                            Re: Bless the Blessed Birthday of PASTOR AL E. PISTLE!



                            Surely such a Religiously-inspired Christian Cake is also impervious to Birthday Imps!

                            "The Children" - you know how they are. Any hint of Religon and they try to run out the door

                            Hallelujah!

                              Comment

                              • Daisy Mae Johnson
                                The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
                                Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
                                aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
                                True Christian™
                                • Sep 2006
                                • 15708
                                #23
                                Re: Bless the Blessed Birthday of PASTOR AL E. PISTLE!

                                Originally posted by Justina Thyme View Post
                                Now, now, Brother Lindh, I'm sure that's just a typo on Mother Glendora's part. She would never knowingly offend or lie to anyone, much less our Godly Pastor Al. And your gift to him sounds quite... toothsome.

                                Mr. Thyme and I are offering him the services for one year, free of charge, of our gorillas business associates whenever he requires their assistance for any [legal or moral trouble[s/] situation he may find himself in that is too complex for him to handle alone. For my own part, here is his birthday cake:

                                [ATTACH]5174[/ATTACH]

                                GLORY!
                                That is a gorgeous cake Sister Justina. I baked him one too.

                                HAPPY BIRTHDAY Pappa P!!!

                                I hope you enjoy the tie I got you.

                                Lve, Sister Thumper
                                Attached Files
                                sigpic

                                Tweet me Here
                                My GODLY Bio Here

                                  Comment

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