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  • #1

    Hey, Soul brother, gimme five! I got something groovy !

    Yes, I want to lay something heavy on you. This ain't no jive neither. I want to talk to you about God. It's really cosmic and funky. Yes, brother, God is the big rapper in the sky. When he lays down some tracks, everybody has got soul.

    And it's this soul you should be grooving about. God wants to save you from the Bummer. The bummer is satan, and he's a real jive turkey.
    So get right with God and he'll save your soul, brother.
    Matthew:
    5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
    5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
    10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
    10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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  • #2
    Re: Hey, Soul brother, gimme five! I got something groovy !

    Word up Home Slice!!!! I sure don't need that bummer(satan) being a downer on my good time!

    Grooovy
    Gather around so that I can read to you from my book of TRUTH. Genesis thru Revelations....Pick one!

    Luke 12:5- But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell; yea, I say unto you, Fear him.

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Hey, Soul brother, gimme five! I got something groovy !

      Word up! Up is where God lives and word up is prayer.
      Matthew:
      5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
      5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
      10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
      10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


      sigpic

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Hey, Soul brother, gimme five! I got something groovy !

        Ok, what is this? Have you been at the brandy cake again brother Eliot?

        Oh wait, I get it. This is one of those "appeal to the youth of today" things. I think I got a memo about that.

        Okay, here goes; Hey there you hep cats. It's all grooving here now! Jesus is number one with a bullet!

        I can't do this.
        Who Will Jesus Damn?

        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Hey, Soul brother, gimme five! I got something groovy !

          We need to reach out to the Negro voters and bring them into the fold. if we use 'jive' talking it helps them to understand we are here to help.

          Dy-No-Mite! Yes, God is Dy-No-mite against the devil!
          Matthew:
          5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
          5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
          10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
          10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


          sigpic

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Hey, Soul brother, gimme five! I got something groovy !

            Originally posted by eliot mayfield View Post
            We need to reach out to the Negro voters and bring them into the fold. if we use 'jive' talking it helps them to understand we are here to help.
            Your compassion knows no bounds, Eliot. I am mostly unfamiliar with this newfangled "jive", but have picked up a little from the telly -- I pray the following helps your cause.


            Eliot is a righteous cracka, happening and hip to the ways of the LORD; listen to him and soon you'll be jitterbugging with JESUS in no time. Lay that Holy Ghost zootsuit on me, dig that salvation boogie-woogie. Amen.
            True Christians are Perfect!

            Signs that you belong to a FALSE Christian Church.

            Persecution You Have Endured for CHRIST: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger in Christ.

            For True Christians™ only: please send me Project Habakkuk updates at gertruderogers@landoverbaptist.net. Thank you.

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Hey, Soul brother, gimme five! I got something groovy !

              Originally posted by eliot mayfield View Post
              We need to reach out to the Negro voters ...
              SCREEEECH!! We need to do WHAT to WHOM?!

              Since when do those people get to vote?

              This country is DOOMED! Sweet Jesus when did this happen!?


              ...I need to spend some time in the prayer closet.
              Who Will Jesus Damn?

              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Hey, Soul brother, gimme five! I got something groovy !

                Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                SCREEEECH!! We need to do WHAT to WHOM?!

                Since when do those people get to vote?

                This country is DOOMED! Sweet Jesus when did this happen!?


                ...I need to spend some time in the prayer closet.
                I did see the memo, but I'm having a hard time understanding it. The Demoncrats have this "presumptive" (I take it that means "elitist") half-negra candidate Obamama for president. Now I don't know if this half-nigra is what they mean by "oreo" or not, or whether he can speak this jive.

                You would think that the nigras had caused enough trouble in our nation with starting the Civil War and all, and now they want to run things.
                Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
                brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
                ...and get off my lawn
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                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Hey, Soul brother, gimme five! I got something groovy !

                  I know what you mean, my brother. I believe I have a device to help you in your quest:

                  http://www.gizoogle.com/


                  This amazing gadget will transform the above two sentences from their original English to this:

                  I K-N-to-tha-izzow wizzy you mean, mah wanna be gangsta. I believe I hizzle a device ta hizzy you in yo quest.
                  This was given to my by our beloved Pastor Zeke. GLORY!!
                  Mark 16:17 And these attesting signs will accompany those who believe: in My Name they will drive out demons.

                  1 Kings 21:14 Then they sent to Jezebel, saying, Naboth is stoned . . .

                  A SPIRITUAL WARFARE PRAYER:
                   Father, In Jesus' Name, I take the Blood of Jesus and break the power of all witches, warlocks, wizards, satanists, sorcerers, wiccans, pagans, and any other source, and all of their rituals off of us. With the Blood of Jesus, I erase all evil lines drawn on our liver. . .
                  LANDOVER BAPTIST DEMON HUNTING PERMIT #00666-27

                   sigpic



                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Hey, Soul brother, gimme five! I got something groovy !

                    Originally posted by Justina Thyme View Post
                    I know what you mean, my brother. I believe I have a device to help you in your quest:

                    http://www.gizoogle.com/


                    This amazing gadget will transform the above two sentences from their original English to this:

                    I K-N-to-tha-izzow wizzy you mean, mah wanna be gangsta. I believe I hizzle a device ta hizzy you in yo quest.

                    This was given to my by our beloved Pastor Zeke. GLORY!!
                    Sounds like that Kid from the Fat Albert cartoon.
                    Attached Files
                    Matthew:
                    5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
                    5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
                    10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
                    10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


                    sigpic

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Hey, Soul brother, gimme five! I got something groovy !

                      Originally posted by eliot mayfield View Post
                      Yes, I want to lay something heavy on you. This ain't no jive neither. I want to talk to you about God. It's really cosmic and funky. Yes, brother, God is the big rapper in the sky. When he lays down some tracks, everybody has got soul.

                      And it's this soul you should be grooving about. God wants to save you from the Bummer. The bummer is satan.
                      That sentence is equally true whether you're using the word bummer in the English or American sense.

                      I believe this tract may be very helpful for our negro friends, although if they're old enough to have started using the drugs (say 11 or so) this one may be more appropriate. Either way, I'm sure all you young dandies and teddy boys out there can agree that good old Jesus "Jelly Roll" Christ is one tip-top funky chicken, fo shizzle.
                      O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                      God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Hey, Soul brother, gimme five! I got something groovy !

                        Originally posted by eliot mayfield View Post
                        We need to reach out to the Negro voters and bring them into the fold. if we use 'jive' talking it helps them to understand we are here to help.
                        How do you tell them to get off their black-ass and find a job?

                        Comment

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