Drive By Baptism

[Holy Henry]

I've been considering this for a while. Would it work if I loaded up a few soakers with blessed baptism water or filled up some water balloons and drove around my local town and baptised all the atheist pigs and criminals in my area from my window as I drove past?

Would this work? Is this the answer we've been looking for all along?

I am armed and ready to do this tomorrow and also I have some powerful bible verses to yell out as I drive by.

[Witch Hammer]

Re: Drive By Baptism

I've been considering this for a while. Would it work if I loaded up a few soakers with blessed baptism water or filled up some water balloons and drove around my local town and baptised all the atheist pigs and criminals in my area from my window as I drove past?

Would this work? Is this the answer we've been looking for all along?

I am armed and ready to do this tomorrow and also I have some powerful bible verses to yell out as I drive by.

If their mouths are agape in supplication to The Lord, and ready to receive a copious load of the blessed baptismal fluid directly in the face, then probably. But the unsaved scum in question will have to give more than just lip-service to reach the heights of Heaven. They must bend before Him willingly, and be filled by the grandeur of His love.

[Didymus Much]

Re: Drive By Baptism

...Would this work? Is this the answer we've been looking for all along?...

It won't be of any use.

Mark 16:16 "He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned."

They don't believe, so it's not a baptism. You'd just be getting them wet, and that could be considered assault.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Drive By Baptism

We've had some past experience with this technique and it is generally viewed as not being effective and the idea was shelved. It seems that years ago some misguided firemen in Birmingham tried fire hoses in a desperate and humanitarian effort to save some nigras.

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: Drive By Baptism

You obviously have sincere concern for the unwashed and unsaved. Although this technique is unlikely to be successful, I encourage you to continue your witnessing to the lost souls of your community.

Are you cured of the gay yet?

In Him,
NRL

[Holy Henry]

Re: Drive By Baptism

You obviously have sincere concern for the unwashed and unsaved. Although this technique is unlikely to be successful, I encourage you to continue your witnessing to the lost souls of your community.

Are you cured of the gay yet?

In Him,
NRL

Yes Naomi. I am 100 percent reformed by The LORD.

[Freddy Osborne]

Re: Drive By Baptism

We've had some past experience with this technique and it is generally viewed as not being effective and the idea was shelved. It seems that years ago some misguided firemen in Birmingham tried fire hoses in a desperate and humanitarian effort to save some nigras.

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It may have failed salvation wise. But it certainly helped the stench!

[Skyfall]

Re: Drive By Baptism

I've been considering this for a while. Would it work if I loaded up a few soakers with blessed baptism water or filled up some water balloons and drove around my local town and baptised all the atheist pigs and criminals in my area from my window as I drove past?

Would this work? Is this the answer we've been looking for all along?

I am armed and ready to do this tomorrow and also I have some powerful bible verses to yell out as I drive by.

I believe people wouldn't feel baptised if done so in this manner, many members of today's society would think you were insane.

However I do like your style! We need more people with your thinking in today's society.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Drive By Baptism

I was a mischievious lad back in Seminary School. I used to get together with a few friends and we'd hide under a local bridge, waiting for a nigra to walk by. We'd all run out and grab it, tie it up with rope, and throw it in the Freehold River and yell "Now you're Baptised, let's see if you turn White!" Oh how we'd laugh!

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: Drive By Baptism

I was a mischievious lad back in Seminary School. I used to get together with a few friends and we'd hide under a local bridge, waiting for a nigra to walk by. We'd all run out and grab it, tie it up with rope, and throw it in the Freehold River and yell "Now you're Baptised, let's see if you turn White!" Oh how we'd laugh!

Such a FUNNY story, Pastor
I could listen to you all day! Right now, in fact.

NRL

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Drive By Baptism

Hello Brother Henry. If you roll your mouse over the awards you will see that we do indeed baptize people using squirt guns.

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=14171

I was thinking that it might also be a great idea to Baptize an entire stadium of unwitting sinners. All we would have to do is rent an airplane and either spray them like they do chemtrails or dump loads of water on them like they do on wild fires.