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  • #16
    Re: Homosexuals are forcing Jesus to watch them have ANAL SEX!!

    I wish that Jesus would make me watch the anal sex, you know, so he wouldn't have to. I would gladly take this horrible burden from the Lord's mighty tanned and toned shoulders. Anyone who wouldn't is in my opinion, just as bad as Judas.
    Leviticus 13:40 And the man whose hair is fallen off his head, he is bald; yet is he clean.

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    • #17
      Re: Homosexuals are forcing Jesus to watch them have ANAL SEX!!

      You know us Pastors have to watch plenty of anal sex too. We spend countless hours screening pornography movies full of anal sex so you won't have to. We keep America safe!

      Of course, we'll never be able to match the amount of anal sex that Jesus watches, but we do our best.
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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      • #18
        Re: Homosexuals are forcing Jesus to watch them have ANAL SEX!!

        Originally posted by LovemyBeer View Post
        Hey there Prayer Warrior!!!!
        It seems pretty obvious with what you say that you dream of tallywackers all night long and would love to have a couple at the moment . For someone to rant on and on about the "evils" of anal sex, it would appear that you would like to participate in tallywacking in all its glory until you crash and burn of a little 'ol heart attack!! It's ok to be gay. The more you preach how awful it is just shows an intelligent reader how badly you will enjoy tallywacking yourself!! But I'll bet you have already participated in the act yourself. And if your words are anything to go by....YOU LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
        It is pretty obvious Prayer Warrior has once again hit the nail on the head. His inspired posts frequently draw the ire of fudge lovers.
        "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." (Matthew 5:16)

        "But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." (Matthew 5:32)

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        • #19
          Re: Homosexuals are forcing Jesus to watch them have ANAL SEX!!

          Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
          You know us Pastors have to watch plenty of anal sex too. We spend countless hours screening pornography movies full of anal sex so you won't have to. We keep America safe!

          Of course, we'll never be able to match the amount of anal sex that Jesus watches, but we do our best.
          You make me want to go back to Landover University for a divinity degree. $6000 a credit is pretty steep but they offer financing and we all know that God rewards his pastors so making the payments shouldn't be too hard.

          Together we could watch twice as much anal sex.
          Leviticus 13:40 And the man whose hair is fallen off his head, he is bald; yet is he clean.

          Comment


          • #20
            Re: Homosexuals are forcing Jesus to watch them have ANAL SEX!!

            Originally posted by LovemyBeer View Post
            Hey there Prayer Warrior!!!!
            It seems pretty obvious with what you say that you dream of tallywackers all night long and would love to have a couple at the moment . For someone to rant on and on about the "evils" of anal sex, it would appear that you would like to participate in tallywacking in all its glory until you crash and burn of a little 'ol heart attack!! It's ok to be gay. The more you preach how awful it is just shows an intelligent reader how badly you will enjoy tallywacking yourself!! But I'll bet you have already participated in the act yourself. And if your words are anything to go by....YOU LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
            You heard it here first, preaching something is awful means you enjoy it . Is this what atheists think passes for logic now a days? Apparently in the backwards atheistic liberal world, preaching about how AWFUL something is means you ENJOY it.

            I guess by your standard everyone who says something is awful is actually advocating it. When a person is holding a gun to someone's head and the victim says"Don't shoot me! It'd be awful! I don't want to die" what he actually means is "Yes, please kill me". When a black male thug invades a good Christian family's home to rape our sons and they say "NO! Stay away from me!" they actually mean "Yes, I consent to having sex ". When someone is having their valuables stolen, and they're saying "Stop! Thief!" they actually mean "Keep going! Please take my valuables!

            This is the kind of path we end up on when we resort to using atheistic logic, and this is the kind of logic that allows them to justify all sorts of atrocities. No matter what the other person says or does, killing, rape, pedophilia, murder, torture, and worst of all homosexuality is justified. Atheists think the other person "consents" to it and enjoys it even when they say they don't.

            Intelligent, is just another code word you use for people such as yourself who lack any sort of moral or ethical basis from discerning right from wrong or up from down. Anything is permitted in an atheistic world. Instead of telling me what I believe, why don't you take the time out to take a long hard look at yourself to understand why you hate Jesus so much, and why you are running from our loving savoir who temporarily died for you. It is my hope that you can see the error of your ways before Jesus is justly sends you .
            Close minded people are just right people who don't want to spend time arguing.

            Comment


            • #21
              Re: Homosexuals are forcing Jesus to watch them have ANAL SEX!!

              Originally posted by LovemyBeer View Post
              Hey there Prayer Warrior!!!!
              It seems pretty obvious with what you say that you dream of tallywackers all night long and would love to have a couple at the moment . For someone to rant on and on about the "evils" of anal sex, it would appear that you would like to participate in tallywacking in all its glory until you crash and burn of a little 'ol heart attack!! It's ok to be gay. The more you preach how awful it is just shows an intelligent reader how badly you will enjoy tallywacking yourself!! But I'll bet you have already participated in the act yourself. And if your words are anything to go by....YOU LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
              Homersex is NOT okay

              Leviticus 18:22 "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination."
              Leviticus 20:13 "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them."
              Romans 1:26-27 "For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet."

              How do you have the nerve to come to a Christian website and start talking about an abomination unto The Lord?

              Children read this site, gosh darn it! Now I'm going to have some difficult questions to answer to my eager young, clean limbed nephew? He is on the brink of adolescence, supple of muscle and firm of thigh and now I have to explain all about rimming, power tops, sub bottoms, snowballing, bukkake, ball gags, corn holing, bung holing, cruising, batty bruising, scat play, cat play, brown hat parties, coffee cream parties (what ever the Hell they are), bumming, comming and of all things chumming

              My youthful young nephew was in tears! How the gosh darn will I explain it to his mother when he asks her if he has to grow up to be gay?

              Shame on you. People like you make me sick, you disgust me, gosh darn it. I hope you are pleased with your self you monster.

              All the best.
              1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

              Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

              Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

              Comment


              • #22
                Re: Homosexuals are forcing Jesus to watch them have ANAL SEX!!

                One also has to keep in mind that anal sex is always gay sex, even if its with a woman.

                Comment


                • #23
                  Re: Homosexuals are forcing Jesus to watch them have ANAL SEX!!

                  Originally posted by Ex-Viking View Post
                  One also has to keep in mind that anal sex is always gay sex, even if its with a woman.
                  I would like to add this includes 'pegging'- an act in which a closeted fagsexual convinces an unknowing harlot into cleaning his dirt pipe with a strap on mechanical tool. Thus sending them both to as aforementioned by Dr. Niles in Romans 1:26.

                  These homers have no limits when it comes to recruitment.
                  "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." (Matthew 5:16)

                  "But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." (Matthew 5:32)

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Re: Homosexuals are forcing Jesus to watch them have ANAL SEX!!

                    Originally posted by Frednekk View Post
                    I would like to add this includes 'pegging'- an act in which a closeted fagsexual convinces an unknowing harlot into cleaning his dirt pipe with a strap on mechanical tool. Thus sending them both to as aforementioned by Dr. Niles in Romans 1:26.

                    These homers have no limits when it comes to recruitment.
                    Pegging isn't even sex, it's pure abomination! For something to be called sex a man must insert something somewhere.
                    Leviticus 13:40 And the man whose hair is fallen off his head, he is bald; yet is he clean.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Re: Homosexuals are forcing Jesus to watch them have ANAL SEX!!

                      I would not be surprised if some dishonest homer offered lead-lined chambers for homer sex. He would claim Jesus' x ray vision will not
                      see through and see the anal sex.

                      Good luck with that, slimy sinner.
                      Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Re: Homosexuals are forcing Jesus to watch them have ANAL SEX!!

                        Originally posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
                        I would not be surprised if some dishonest homer offered lead-lined chambers for homer sex. He would claim Jesus' x ray vision will not
                        see through and see the anal sex.

                        Good luck with that, slimy sinner.
                        I imagine some people are thinking "Why doesn't Jesus just decide to not look into these lead lined chambers? If He is omnipotent can't He do that?" Though what they fail to realize is that if Jesus did that it would then create a chamber of immunity to all sin.

                        Serial killers such as http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=28839 Jeffrey Dahmer (who later repented and so he is in heaven with Jesus as we speak) could convert to Christianity and THEN lure children into his lead-lined chamber under the guise of homosexuality and then murder them, rape them, torture them, and still get into Heaven because Jesus wouldn't know what was going on in there (although it is perfectly fine for him to get into Heaven now since he repented AFTER committing the acts, proving he turned away from his old lifestyle) etc. Also, what if one of these tortured people REPENTED while inside the lead lined chamber? Jesus would never know because He would have decided not to watch. Thus it would add one more person to burn in Hell for all eternity.

                        These homosexuals are so short sited and selfish that they would rather enjoy their perverted anal sex today even if it meant forcing sweet and loving Jesus to watch it, or even if it meant condemning a Christian who accepted Jesus to be tortured forever and ever. They would rather hide their perversions from Jesus even if it meant allowing murderers and pedophiles into Heaven. They are so foolish that they are risking their eternal souls for some jollies today. Now do you see why homosexuality is punishable by death?
                        Close minded people are just right people who don't want to spend time arguing.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Re: Homosexuals are forcing Jesus to watch them have ANAL SEX!!

                          Originally posted by Prayer Warrior View Post
                          I imagine some people are thinking "Why doesn't Jesus just decide to not look into these lead lined chambers? If He is omnipotent can't He do that?" Though what they fail to realize is that if Jesus did that it would then create a chamber of immunity to all sin.
                          Jesus doesn't have to do that. Since He can do anything, all he has to do is choose to forget seeing those acts. The sins can be recorded on scrolls or whatever for later reference.

                          I imagine that the phrase, "some things cannot be unseen" does not really apply to God or Jesus.
                          May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

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                          • #28
                            Re: Homosexuals are forcing Jesus to watch them have ANAL SEX!!

                            God watches you doing the nasty in your bedroom so what different does it make if they are having sex. Like seriously have you ever thought that god might be gay but be afraid to show it because of all you judgemental pricks. He could be up in heaven right now riding his unicorn to confession. So shut the piffle up and come state what god is and what his opinions are when you meet him.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Re: Homosexuals are forcing Jesus to watch them have ANAL SEX!!

                              Originally posted by Prayer Warrior View Post
                              I imagine some people are thinking "Why doesn't Jesus just decide to not look into these lead lined chambers? If He is omnipotent can't He do that?" Though what they fail to realize is that if Jesus did that it would then create a chamber of immunity to all sin.

                              Serial killers such as http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=28839 Jeffrey Dahmer (who later repented and so he is in heaven with Jesus as we speak) could convert to Christianity and THEN lure children into his lead-lined chamber under the guise of homosexuality and then murder them, rape them, torture them, and still get into Heaven because Jesus wouldn't know what was going on in there (although it is perfectly fine for him to get into Heaven now since he repented AFTER committing the acts, proving he turned away from his old lifestyle) etc. Also, what if one of these tortured people REPENTED while inside the lead lined chamber? Jesus would never know because He would have decided not to watch. Thus it would add one more person to burn in Hell for all eternity.

                              These homosexuals are so short sited and selfish that they would rather enjoy their perverted anal sex today even if it meant forcing sweet and loving Jesus to watch it, or even if it meant condemning a Christian who accepted Jesus to be tortured forever and ever. They would rather hide their perversions from Jesus even if it meant allowing murderers and pedophiles into Heaven. They are so foolish that they are risking their eternal souls for some jollies today. Now do you see why homosexuality is punishable by death?
                              Just so we're clear, we're positive that lead lined thing doesn't work, right? So anyone who may or may not have engaged in a small, almost insignificant indiscretion, in a lead lined room, or perhaps double wide trailor, did so in full view of Jesus? There's no chance at all the lead thing works. That's what we're saying. Right?
                              Leviticus 13:40 And the man whose hair is fallen off his head, he is bald; yet is he clean.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Re: Homosexuals are forcing Jesus to watch them have ANAL SEX!!

                                Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
                                Jesus doesn't have to do that. Since He can do anything, all he has to do is choose to forget seeing those acts. The sins can be recorded on scrolls or whatever for later reference.

                                I imagine that the phrase, "some things cannot be unseen" does not really apply to God or Jesus.

                                Originally posted by Godfly View Post
                                Just so we're clear, we're positive that lead lined thing doesn't work, right? So anyone who may or may not have engaged in a small, almost insignificant indiscretion, in a lead lined room, or perhaps double wide trailor, did so in full view of Jesus? There's no chance at all the lead thing works. That's what we're saying. Right?
                                I think this would be better answered by a pastor as I'm not a theologian, but I'll try to give my best guess as to what is going on until a pastor can give us an official answer. My understanding of this verse was that even if Jesus stored sins or other activities on scrolls, the contents of those scrolls would instantly be seen, known, and revealed to Him Job 28:24. For this reason, I am also in favor of banning all books, literature, and media presiding here on Earth that could potentially offend Jesus (as He reads all of it due to his all seeing, all knowing nature). Technically this verse only says Jesus sees all under the Heavens, so I suppose it would be possible for Jesus to create a realm even higher than Heaven for the sole purpose of creating information that even He can't access. This is similar to how on Windows computers, there is a superuser/root level account that is not enabled by default even for the administrator/owner of the computer http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superuser#Windows_NT . It could be argued that entire concept of the virgin birth, Jesus being tempted by Satan, Jesus appearing on Earth and being modest, and Jesus allowing Satan to continue to exist are all due to Jesus's and God's self-imposed limitations.

                                This "higher realm" also might be where Jesus stores the information on when the end of the world is Mark 13:32 . I suppose when the Bible says His understanding is infinite, Psalm 147:5 there could be exceptions like Mark 13:32. Much like how "Thou Shalt Not Kill" is the general rule, while homosexuals, fornicators, people who don't worship the correct god, etc. are the exception. In a lawyer's contract or a binding legal document the specific proclamations take precedence over the general ones.

                                The Bible does seem to indicate God decided not to intervene when Judah was faced with Chariots of Iron Judges 1:19, so it is possible that God could similarly choose not to intervene when it comes to lead lined chambers. However, I don't feel that this specific case is nearly enough biblical evidence to extrapolate and say that just because God decided not to stop iron chariots that one particular time, we can assume that God chooses not to intervene in future cases involving lead or iron. We even see later that God did eventually decide to drive Judah's enemies away despite their possession of iron chariots Joshua 17:18. Nor do I feel that the exception to Jesus's knowledge when it comes to the end of the world is enough to extrapolate and say He would make the same exception when it comes to lead or specific sins such as homosexuality.

                                For this reason, I tend to think that even lead is no match for Jesus's all seeing eyes.
                                Close minded people are just right people who don't want to spend time arguing.

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