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HAPPY
BIRTHDAY!
BIRTHDAY!
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Cranky Old Man!
Congratulations! Our esteemed Brother demostrates how maturity brings also quick wits and deep understanding in addition to spirituality.
May you prosper!
Genesis 5:25.
Yours,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:- Hitler is Alive!
- Hitler - the First man on the Moon!
- Hitler was maybe a Nazi!
- Hitler and the English Royal Family!
- Vladimir Putin is immortal! Perhaps Hitler is, too?
- Paris Hilton for President and the Hitler connection!
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Cranky Old Man!
I'm sorry the LORD hasn't chosen to call you home yet, as I know you're more than ready. Your loss is our gain. A most blessed birthday, dear Brother in Christ.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Cranky Old Man!
Happy Birthday and many happy returns, Brother. As a birthday gift, I have arranged to have your neighbor Mrs. Johnson confined to a mental ward for at least 6 months.
Don't forget to send over your Birthday Tithe.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Cranky Old Man!
Happy Birthday, my sweet man
Leviticus 19:32 Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head, and honour the face of the old man, and fear thy GodPsalm 119:97
O how love I thy law! It is my meditation all the dayComment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Cranky Old Man!
I hope you have a very happy birthday, and I hope you have many more!
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Cranky Old Man!
Belated Happy Birthday, Sir. I see you have not been here to acknowledge our greetings and pray that this means that Our Lord has given you the greatest birthday gift of all!2 Timothy 3:16
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Cranky Old Man!
I hope he's not at the pearly gates right now!Originally posted by Attila's Wife View Post
Revelation 21Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Cranky Old Man!
Indeed. Apparently Jesus needs me to spend more time suffering through the infinite steam of retards visiting God's favorite forum.Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
And please, if I didn't send you an invitation, you're not invited for pie or BBQed meat. Just put your expensive present near my front door and LEAVE!5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
- Protect your family the Christian way! Get your daughter raped!
- Only Sluts Get Raped! (1st Timothy 2:9)
- Down syndrome is a lifestyle choice!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Cranky Old Man!
At what time are we not invited?Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Cranky Old Man!
(I think the party was last night, Sister - it's just that Brother Cranky has already forgotten about it.)Originally posted by Mother Of Seven View Post
2 Timothy 3:16
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
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