Senses together

[Nicole1Happy]

My first poem and I deeply hope you all enjoy this. If it even brings a second of smiling to your face, I will be thankful you found some joy in what I write for everyone and God. Thank you for your time.

Senses together

See blurry blue hazy morning
the sun it's golden white
green sensual grass warming
purple flowers shining in light.

Gentle rustle of a trailing breeze
singing birds silhouette sky bound
tranquil trickling from river to seas
crickets tease the field with sound

crystal water fresh and pure
from soil the strawberries sit graced
earth warm fields of corn for rich and poor
misty lands growing in quiet taste

Breath filled bee honey sweet
roses crimson gliding the soothing song dwell
cut grass with gentle leaves and soft wheat
ocean glistens and sails on deep harmony smell

Hands softly holding in the park
feathers dancing past the eyes so much
raining explore the deepest depths aqua shark
sun felt and ground walked while flowers brushed in softly touch

I see, it's beautiful
I hear, it's harmony
I taste, it's enchanting
I smell, it's alluring
I feel, it's sublime

I believe, it's heavenly.

Thank you, God.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Senses together

What kind of tai chi teriyaki hocus pocus hippie moonbeam crap is that?

[Miss April]

Re: Senses together

I agree with Brother Rev.Jim what on earth was that:/

[Nicole1Happy]

Re: Senses together

I deeply apologise that it is no good. I will try harder in my future attempts.

I know I can't use the excuse that it's the first poem i've submitted to a public eye but I feel with people saying what's good and what's bad, it will help me shape a better work in the future.

Once again I am sorry but it will surely help me rethink my mistakes.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Senses together

Young lady, it's not so much that you lack the talent of a potential poet...it's your subject matter. You seem obssessed on praising the Earth like some kind of new age hippie. Now, yes the Earth is God's creation...but why praise the creation more than the creator?

Come back when you have a poem about Jesus saving you from masturbation hell.

[Nicole1Happy]

Re: Senses together

You are right. I never really saw it from that perspective before.

I guess my original message was that I was thanking the lord for giving me the senses to love his creations. Be it simple sights of earth, sounds of animals or tastes of the food given to us. A celebration of his amazing gift.

But I do see from another view that it is not such a good way of expressing it.

Once again, I am sorry about this.

[Vavoline Johnson]

Re: Senses together

My first poem and I deeply hope you all enjoy this. If it even brings a second of smiling to your face, I will be thankful you found some joy in what I write for everyone and God.snip.

Lawd hab mercy, what you be writing fo, feminine hygiene products?

[Oakland "Reb" Griner]

Re: Senses together

Lawd hab mercy, what you be writing fo, feminine hygiene products?

Excellent post!!

There was something about that poem that made me feel unclean, and now I know.


Thank you so much !!

[Vavoline Johnson]

Re: Senses together

Excellent post!!

There was something about that poem that made me feel unclean, and now I know.


Thank you so much !!

Next she be waxin the poetic about feminine and rectal itch and call it art.

[Nicole1Happy]

Re: Senses together

I'm really sorry. I didn't mean any of it to come out this way.