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  • #1

    I wrote this poem. Does anyone want to give me some feedback?

    Forever


    "Do you love me?"

    My answer was a blatant "Yes."

    What I meant was,
    More than anything;
    more than anything else in the world.
    More than I can begin to tell you,
    in clumsy words and broken sentences.

    I meant to tell you,
    More than all the stars in the sky,
    More than a plant loves the sun it grows for,
    needs,
    depends on,
    reaches toward forever.

    I wanted to say,
    More than every blade of grass
    that covers the land.
    Every drop of water in the sea.

    But I ran out of time,
    or I couldn't find the words.
    And my voice dried up while I stood there,
    silent,
    And finally gave up and said
    "Yes."
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: I wrote this poem. Does anyone want to give me some feedback?

    Oops.. the title is Falling, not Forever.

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: I wrote this poem. Does anyone want to give me some feedback?

      its beautiful

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: I wrote this poem. Does anyone want to give me some feedback?

        Aw, thank you. c:

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: I wrote this poem. Does anyone want to give me some feedback?

          It stinks. You didn't even mention Jesus' temporary death on the cross at Calvary. That's just a poem about sluttery.
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: I wrote this poem. Does anyone want to give me some feedback?

            Even though it doesn't rhyme, it is quite lovely if read in the context of a conversation between God and yourself.

            Your yearning for Salvation is apparent.
            True Christians are Perfect!

            Signs that you belong to a FALSE Christian Church.

            Persecution You Have Endured for CHRIST: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger in Christ.

            For True Christians™ only: please send me Project Habakkuk updates at gertruderogers@landoverbaptist.net. Thank you.

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: I wrote this poem. Does anyone want to give me some feedback?

              Originally posted by Mrs. Rogers View Post
              Even though it doesn't rhyme, it is quite lovely if read in the context of a conversation between God and yourself.

              Your yearning for Salvation is apparent.
              Why thank you. c:

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: I wrote this poem. Does anyone want to give me some feedback?

                I read the poem and then saw your display picture. Which one are you? Who are you writing to?

                This sounds overtly sexual to me, and I don't like it.
                sigpic
                The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
                - Proverbs 15:3

                CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL


                CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!


                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: I wrote this poem. Does anyone want to give me some feedback?

                  Originally posted by Slutty View Post
                  Why thank you. c:
                  dont listen to the "stud" guy...i believe its about your relationship with God...its pure beauty and dont let anyone tell you other wise

                  got it?

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: I wrote this poem. Does anyone want to give me some feedback?

                    Originally posted by Slutty View Post
                    Why thank you. c:
                    You're very welcome. Your next step is repenting of your awkward, overheated fumblings with the chap in your avatar -- it is disgusting that he is behind you. Very unnatural on many levels. Then you must give yourself to Jesus; only He can be trusted to stand behind you without pawing at your bits.
                    True Christians are Perfect!

                    Signs that you belong to a FALSE Christian Church.

                    Persecution You Have Endured for CHRIST: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger in Christ.

                    For True Christians™ only: please send me Project Habakkuk updates at gertruderogers@landoverbaptist.net. Thank you.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: I wrote this poem. Does anyone want to give me some feedback?

                      Your poem is very nice. You have some talent, young lady. If only you could stop with the backtalk and come to an agreement with them, I'm sure you could be tolerated.

                      Jesus' most humble servant,
                      Sam
                      Proverbs 25:21-22 If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink:
                      For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the LORD shall reward thee.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: I wrote this poem. Does anyone want to give me some feedback?

                        Originally posted by Mrs. Rogers View Post
                        You're very welcome. Your next step is repenting of your awkward, overheated fumblings with the chap in your avatar -- it is disgusting that he is behind you. Very unnatural on many levels. Then you must give yourself to Jesus; only He can be trusted to stand behind you without pawing at your bits.
                        To the contrary, our overheated fumblings are far from awkward. They're quite pleasurable, in fact.

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: I wrote this poem. Does anyone want to give me some feedback?

                          Corny and sexual. Doesn't even mention love for Jesus.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: I wrote this poem. Does anyone want to give me some feedback?

                            This is a beautiful poem. You two are not related to each other at any level are you ?

                            That is an issue here
                            sigpic
                            “Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge: it is those who know little, and not those who know much, who so positively assert that this or that problem will never be solved by science.” Charles Darwin The Descent of Man (1871)

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