Obama's "jobs bill" is nothing but fear-mongering

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Dear Friends,

You may have heard the fear-mongering coming from the liberals about recessions and depressions and other nonsense to terrorize people into supporting their "jobs bill". This "jobs bill" is just another ultraliberal elitist trick to further their dream of banning the bible and forcing your son to marry a homo. In fact, the previous name for the bill was a "stimulus package".

So, I want to set the record straight - and I mean straight in every sense of the word. This great depression that is supposedly looming? It has nothing to with economics. It's just a nation of whiners getting lazy and having a mental recession.

And now the evidence is pouring in. Just yesterday I was walking my dog when I discovered some vacationing misers have decided to hold their camping trip in a vacant lot. I tried to convince them to cut their vacation short and get back to work, or at least go to Disneyland like respectable vacationers.

Instead of taking my advice, these bums did nothing but spout liberal talking points with all the buzzwords: "foreclosure" and "mortgage" and "lost an arm in Iraq" and all the rest of it. I tried to slap them out of it, but these heathens didn't even turn the other cheek when I slapped them! Fearing that their mental recession hysteria was contagious, I came home.

But not after making sure my dogs left a gift or two on their "doorsteps".

Just to make certain that their claims of job losses were false, I checked Main Street. Needless to say, all the shops are open and thriving - the temp agency was buzzing, the casual labor office was busily at work, check-cashing place is doing fine, all three pawnshops are cornacopias of plenty, while the army recruitment office is having such a hard time finding unemployed people they wish they could re-invent the press-gang!

So don't listen to Obama's fear-mongering. America is not in a depression, America is on vacation:


Roasted marshmallows for everyone!



Who's up for a campfire sing-along?



Just look at this whining? "Wah wah, no electricity, wah" - it's called Roughing It for a reason, softie!

UPDATE: Finally the police are doing something about it! Good start - now let's show these bums what law and order is REALLY all about!

[Mr. Jingles]

Re: Obama's "jobs bill" is nothing but fear-mongering

Boy, that's the truth. If things are so bad why are payday loan stores doing such a brisk business? A person can make some mighty fine money selling plasma, up to $150.00 a month. I get so incensed when sissy-types complain about having their electricity shut off; did Jesus use electricty? I just don't see what people keep complaining about.

[Nobar King]

Re: Obama's "jobs bill" is nothing but fear-mongering

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When you're spending time in a tent, the last thing you need is for your batteries to run out. That's why I always have some of these shake lights.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Obama's "jobs bill" is nothing but fear-mongering

Maybe these sinners should have thought about before they voted Democratic last November. What did they expect anything but a crippling economic depression? Look Obama is so bad the economy tanked 10 months for he was voted into office.

[Mrs. Robert Roberts]

Re: Obama's "jobs bill" is nothing but fear-mongering

I totally agree brother.
Never mind this liberal nonsense of extending unemployment benifits just because a few people are out of work. They're probably out of work because they are lazy and didn't want to take a 50% paycut. And we don't need health care. When any of my children get sick I just get the leeches out and put them in the prayer closet with the sick child. Jesus does the rest. GLORY!
What we need are huge tax cuts for the super rich just like the Godly George W. Bush gave us before. And invading another country would also help. How about Mexico? It's close. Our troops could drive home for the weekend. And they are all catlicks. We could convert them all to True Christians. It might take some "enhanced interrogation" techniques, but it will be for their own good and it will boost our economy at the same time. It's a win win situation.

[Nobar King]

Re: Obama's "jobs bill" is nothing but fear-mongering

Paycuts are really where you see who is loyal to the company. Requiring a stricter dress code also shows you who the team players are.

Starbucks just instituted a 'no punk' policy. No more tattoos and pink mohawks for your barista. If you want that you have to go somewhere like Whole Paycheck.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Obama's "jobs bill" is nothing but fear-mongering

I am reminded of the time Jesus taught His disciples about the poor. When He saw the old penniless woman tithe her last cent, He didn't run up to her and offer to sign her up for welfare. Instead, He grinned, and He used her as an object lesson for us all.

Mark 12:41 And Jesus sat over against the treasury, and beheld how the people cast money into the treasury: and many that were rich cast in much.
12:42 And there came a certain poor widow, and she threw in two mites, which make a farthing. What the Bible says about taxes
12:43 And he called unto him his disciples, and saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That this poor widow hath cast more in, than all they which have cast into the treasury:
12:44 For all they did cast in of their abundance; but she of her want did cast in all that she had, even all her living.

The message is; If you are rich, then you are obliged to give the Church 10% of your gross income. If you are poor, you are obliged to give everything you have. With a smile.

I expect Tithing to be up this year, what with all the newly-created poor running around. Thank you Jesus!

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Obama's "jobs bill" is nothing but fear-mongering

These flashlights are great because you don't have to buy any batteries for them:When you're spending time in a tent, the last thing you need is for your batteries to run out. That's why I always have some of these shake lights.

I don't know Brother Nobar. Shaking that hard long thing in one's hand looks suspiciously like sexual self-abuse. Do that near a minor and you might have to register as a sex criminal.

Yours in Christ,
Buford

[H. Montague Worthington]

Re: Obama's "jobs bill" is nothing but fear-mongering

I am reminded of the time Jesus taught His disciples about the poor. When He saw the old penniless woman tithe her last cent, He didn't run up to her and offer to sign her up for welfare. Instead, He grinned, and He used her as an object lesson for us all.




The message is; If you are rich, then you are obliged to give the Church 10% of your gross income. If you are poor, you are obliged to give everything you have. With a smile.

I expect Tithing to be up this year, what with all the newly-created poor running around. Thank you Jesus!

Thank you for that inspiring sermon, Pastor Ezekiel!! Your wisely-chosen words of The Lord caused me to shed a few tears, and reflect on the blessings I receive-- a bargain at ANY price-- from Landover Baptist Church.

And as for the Obama economic disaster, there's no doubt that the markets panicked and creditors went running for the hills when they saw a shine headed for the White House. Just last September, there wasn't even a sign that the healthy American economy was in any trouble. No less an economic authority than John McCain himself said on September 15, 2008, "The fundamentals of our economy are strong."

Now what would explain the fundamentals of the economy being strong in mid September and a complete economic meltdown in February other than a new liberal President who was never up to the job? I mean, you can just look at the young boy and his bright shiny smile and tell that he doesn't have "the necessities" for leadership. You saw him dance around rhythmically at the Inaugural Ball while crises were developing in our economy and around the world. I'll bet you if you go into the White House at a surprise random hour, say, 3:00 a.m., you'll find the boy asleep-- asleep on the job!! Well, come on America, what did you expect from those people?

Well, you asked for it, America, and now you're stuck with the failed liberal socialist policies of the Demoncrats, instituted by a lazy, naive shine that would rather dance or take a nap than do his job.

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Obama's "jobs bill" is nothing but fear-mongering

No less an economic authority than John McCain himself said on September 15, 2008, "The fundamentals of our economy are strong."

World-renown economist Sarah Palin explained it clearly:

The economy is behind the trust of the upwards trend that John McCain and I replenish whenever civilized behavior that lends itself to Christian family values that are found in abundance since I can see Russia from my house. Therefore, I caution everyone that it is advised to see we should put our faith in Republicanism forever so that one can find the usefulness that is there for the using. This will bring prosperity and salvation to all true Americans. That means the Bridge to Nowhere really leads to Somewhere.

I don't think that I could have said it better myself. Sister Sarah is truly an economic genius!

praise Jesus,
Buford

[Mrs. Robert Roberts]

Re: Obama's "jobs bill" is nothing but fear-mongering

Sister Sarah Palin's quotes just go to prove that you don't have to go to no pansy Ivy League school to get good learnin!

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Obama's "jobs bill" is nothing but fear-mongering

Finally the police are doing something about it! Good start - now let's show these bums what law and order is REALLY all about!

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Obama's "jobs bill" is nothing but fear-mongering

Sister Sarah Palin's quotes just go to prove that you don't have to go to no pansy Ivy League school to get good learnin!

Amen Sister Roberts! A mail-order associate's degree in Bible Studies from Bob Jones University is more than enough education to be president! Indeed, it's probably too much. We don't need no homo latte-sipping elitists with their fancy diplomas. We just need a president who knows how to field dress a moose.

Obama has proven that - with all his artsy-fartsy degrees - he can't even bowl! I'll bet he doesn't even know how to crush an emply Budweiser can against his forehead!

Praise Jesus,
Brother Buford

[Wash O'Hanley]

Re: Obama's "jobs bill" is nothing but fear-mongering

If these people were smart they would have been born into a wealthy family that made their riches making pesticides (the kind that made all those kids blind back in the 50s) and then get a cushy job from their uncle at a local radio station like me. The world always needs political pundits, how else would people have known that Bobby Jindal made an amazing speech last night?