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Brothers and Sisters,
Today I am proud to reveal to you, on behalf of our Godly President, that our Union is Strong. We are growing by the greatest margins since Clinton was in office, and that is truly a blessing from God. The Department of Faith is consistently defending America from the threats to its very foundation by the new Democratic House & Senate -- so far successfully. However, I assure you that these demon-worshipers want nothing more than yet another 9/11, and spend every moment "at work" drawing up plans for attacking America using means such as passing laws making it mandatory for gays marry or teenagers to toss their babies into a frying pan like a thick slab of Jimmy Dean sausage on a Sunday morning. So far we have been successful, but I know that we can only hold out for so long. The sooner we boot these people out, the sooner America will be safe from Terr'rists.
As great as Mr. Reagan was so many years ago, there was one thing that he did that I can never agree with: "tearing down that wall". So, in an attempt to solve the [only] problem that he ever created, we will be erecting a 10,000 mile long fence around the United States to prevent those doggone foreigners from invading us. This project will solve every problem of Godless heathens trying to undermine the sanctity of our marriages and divorces. This project is destined for completion in 2110, at a cost of approximately $4.1 trillion. This will help to prevent inflation caused by those terrorist-dollars otherwise known as "pesos" ("pisses") or "euro's" ("your-ass").
In addition, I am calling for an increase of 90,000 troops in our Marine Corps. This will be achieved by my new "Troop Augmentation Program". Our highly scientific program will sift through our database of registered Democrat voters and send them to the one place where they will be most likely to convert: the fox holes. If they won't support our troops, we'll see how they like it when they're not supported!
Similarly, we will be creating a new Healthcare Plan! Every True Christian American will be admitted to the nearest Baptist hospital with no further questions asked upon showing either their Landover I.D. card or Republican Voter registration. They will be treated to the best of care by our registered Christian Scientist nurses. Researchers are currently determining the best brand of snake to use for curing all manners of pestilence.
In closing, may God Bless America, and may her people continue to support her Godly Leader, George W. Bush.
Today I am proud to reveal to you, on behalf of our Godly President, that our Union is Strong. We are growing by the greatest margins since Clinton was in office, and that is truly a blessing from God. The Department of Faith is consistently defending America from the threats to its very foundation by the new Democratic House & Senate -- so far successfully. However, I assure you that these demon-worshipers want nothing more than yet another 9/11, and spend every moment "at work" drawing up plans for attacking America using means such as passing laws making it mandatory for gays marry or teenagers to toss their babies into a frying pan like a thick slab of Jimmy Dean sausage on a Sunday morning. So far we have been successful, but I know that we can only hold out for so long. The sooner we boot these people out, the sooner America will be safe from Terr'rists.
As great as Mr. Reagan was so many years ago, there was one thing that he did that I can never agree with: "tearing down that wall". So, in an attempt to solve the [only] problem that he ever created, we will be erecting a 10,000 mile long fence around the United States to prevent those doggone foreigners from invading us. This project will solve every problem of Godless heathens trying to undermine the sanctity of our marriages and divorces. This project is destined for completion in 2110, at a cost of approximately $4.1 trillion. This will help to prevent inflation caused by those terrorist-dollars otherwise known as "pesos" ("pisses") or "euro's" ("your-ass").
In addition, I am calling for an increase of 90,000 troops in our Marine Corps. This will be achieved by my new "Troop Augmentation Program". Our highly scientific program will sift through our database of registered Democrat voters and send them to the one place where they will be most likely to convert: the fox holes. If they won't support our troops, we'll see how they like it when they're not supported!
Similarly, we will be creating a new Healthcare Plan! Every True Christian American will be admitted to the nearest Baptist hospital with no further questions asked upon showing either their Landover I.D. card or Republican Voter registration. They will be treated to the best of care by our registered Christian Scientist nurses. Researchers are currently determining the best brand of snake to use for curing all manners of pestilence.
In closing, may God Bless America, and may her people continue to support her Godly Leader, George W. Bush.
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