Tweet
The investigative procedure is now online and ready.
-
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
-
Re: The Department of Faith: ONLINE
Pastor, surely you don't Believe this is True of me:
"Sister Sue Vera once had heterosexual anal sex while thinking about flat-chested anydrogynes from the US Olympic gymnastics team"
or:
"SUV once checked out Arabian Nights from the library - and returned it TWO WEEKS LATE!"
Because in both cases, there is a Perfectly Good explanation!!! -
Re: The Department of Faith: ONLINE
Apparently my uncle has a carpet from Afghanistan..
But I swear I didn't know he was a terrorist.
In fact, I don't even have any contact with the unsaved scumbag.If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13Comment
-
Re: The Department of Faith: ONLINE
I have no idea what happened to that goat! LIES, all filthy, dirty LIES!
Comment
-
Re: The Department of Faith: ONLINE
I found this one earlier today. A gay test that's pretty darned accurate. Perhaps this could be added to the registration process?
"If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. . . . And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the manservant's do."
(Leviticus 21:6-7)Comment
-
Re: The Department of Faith: ONLINE
So "Rev.". Why would you be searching for something like that, hummmmmmmm?Originally posted by Rev. Dr. Davidson View PostEmeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
Comment
-
Re: The Department of Faith: ONLINE
I wasn't searching for it, but there it was.... I was searching for Bush Anti-Gay reform. Who knew what would pop up?"If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. . . . And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the manservant's do."
(Leviticus 21:6-7)Comment
-
Re: The Department of Faith: ONLINE
That's true, but to be fair, I was still Papist scum at the time. Heck, I even used Heinz ketchup on my freedom fries!sister mary maria once bought French wine – even though Gallo was on sale at the same store!
That's all behind me now, but I still pray for forgiveness every day.Posted via Prayer
1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!
Blogging for CHRIST!
Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
All a-Twitter for Salvation!
Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
My Ladies of Landover profile!
Comment
-
Re: The Department of Faith: ONLINE
Well praise JESUS! Thanks to this new technology (provided by God Almighty and the boys in Creation Science), all of you are under fresh review by the DOF. Your pathetic denials will serve you not. You will all have to undergo additional questioning and....screening procedures. Unmarked random sequence large denomination bills would be advisable. There may be additional requirements from some of the younger, more nubile members. You'll be contacted in short order.
Thank God Pastor Pistle and I have been exempted from this process. For the good of the congregation, of course.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
-
Re: The Department of Faith: ONLINE
Dear Sweet Jesus! They know about my surfing websites with MILFS in burkas! There is no escaping Jesus' eyes now!
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
Hot Must ReadThreads!
WHO does God hate?
A Christian voter's guide to rape
A Miracle that Atheist REFUSE to explain!
Why Atheists are WRONG!
Questions Darwinist REFUSE to answer
Are Stars Diamonds? The Young Universe PROVED
Cucumbers prove God EXISTS!
Ten points that CRUSH Atheism
Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!Comment
-
Re: The Department of Faith: ONLINE
"Brother Love used to have a "Support the Troops" magnetic car ribbon, but took it off."
Now...now...now...folks...let's get this straight. I categorically deny having taken the magnet off. It fell off along the road somewhere! I swear to sweet JESUS it did!! But, that's ok because I've got a new one now. In fact, I've got TWO of them now. Praise the Lord!!
[good God is there nothing that the DOF doesn't know? Hmmm...I'd better warn Deacon J. Daniels quick...]Evangelist for Jesus and The Word!!
"Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves." Matthew 7:15
"Prayer should be your first resource. Not your last resort!!"Comment
-
Re: The Department of Faith: ONLINE
Dear, sweet Brother Love, always willing to believe the best in people. God wouldn't have allowed the magnet to fall off. It's obvious what happened - Lieberal vandals stole it. In their continued efforts to spit in the faces of our troops they have to destroy everything that lifts our boys' morale.Originally posted by Brother Love View Post
It's disgusting that they not only actively seek to give aid and comfort to our enemy, but to think that you've been carrying around this guilt all this time!
That's fine. They'll pay for their transgressions soon enough!
Posted via Prayer
1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!
Blogging for CHRIST!
Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
All a-Twitter for Salvation!
Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
My Ladies of Landover profile!
Comment
-
Re: The Department of Faith: ONLINE
How long until the librul constitution-huggers cry about how this violates their so-called "right to privacy"?
It's like they want us to be attacked again.
Bush/Halliburton '08-Rapture!Comment
-
Re: The Department of Faith: ONLINE
I've suspected it all along:
"Instead of singing the Star-Spangled Banner at baseball games, Pope Benedict mumbles the lyrics to "Kumbaya."Comment
Comment