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  • Glendora Christianson
    Spiritual Mother of LBC
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 2329

    #1

    Poll: How Does Jesus Vote?

    Every once in a while, I think it's a good idea to evaluate how our members are coming along with their salvations. And I do think it's important to establish the truth, from time to time. So please vote in our Godly poll and remember, Jesus is watching you.

    Disclaimer: Your IP address and voting result may be viewed by members of our Godly Republican government. LBC assumes no responsibility for your privacy.
    27
    Jesus votes Republican (I'm a good Christian)
    0%
    19
    Jesus votes Democrat (I'm a crack-head on welfare)
    0%
    5
    Jesus votes Libertarian (I'm used to wasting my time)
    0%
    3
    Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
  • Andreas
    Unsaved Atheist Nazi Trash
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 249

    #2
    Mother Glendora, what a great poll indeed. That's how we can "eliminate" all non-Christian and non-republican from Landover's godly forum.

    Keep the good work!

    Your Andrew
    Soon in Christ

    Comment

    • Talitha
      Deaconess
      Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
      True Christian™
      • Oct 2025
      • 15118

      #3
      Excellent Poll Sister.
      Very fair and properly conducted.

      By the way Andrew, your closing should read: "Yours In Christ" .
      Not "Your andrew".

      Sister Talitha

      Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


      HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
      being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



      Comment

      • Andreas
        Unsaved Atheist Nazi Trash
         
        • Sep 2006
        • 249

        #4
        Excellent Poll Sister.
        Very fair and properly conducted.

        By the way Andrew, your closing should read: "Yours In Christ" .
        Not "Your andrew".
        I strongly apologize, sister Talitha.

        John 14:20: At that day ye shall know that I [am] in my Father, and ye in me, and I in you.

        John 15:5 I am the vine, ye [are] the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.

        Yours in Him
        Soon in Christ

        Comment

        • Jesus is Lord
          Devout seeker of the Truth™
          True Christian™
          • Sep 2006
          • 639

          #5
          Of course Jesus votes Republican, it is God's Own Party after all. He would never vote for a Demoncrat or some other unsaved piece of trash.

          Yours in HIM,
          Jesus is Lord
          The Big-Bang: GOD spoke and, BANG, the universe was formed.
          Genesis 1:1 - In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
          sigpic

          Comment

          • Pastor Isaac Peters
            Senior Pastor
            Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
            Always Biblically correct
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2006
            • 10639

            #6
            Originally posted by Jesus is Lord View Post
            Of course Jesus votes Republican, it is God's Own Party after all. He would never vote for a Demoncrat or some other unsaved piece of trash.
            Very well put. Nor would Jesus ever vote for a Loonytarian, especially now that the Loonytarian Party where I live is working with the militant homers to give the special privilege of equality to sodomites who want to get "married."
            This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

            Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

            sigpic

            Comment

            • Pastor Rune Enoe
              Apostle of the North
               
              • Sep 2006
              • 11678

              #7
              Somehow it doesn't seem right. I can't picture Jesus standing in the voting booth, giving power to a mere mortal Episcopalian - even if it is one of the Bush'es.

              Why would Jesus bother to vote for distribution of judiciary, legislative and executive power, when they already belong to Himself?

              Isaiah 33:22 For the LORD is our judge, the LORD is our lawgiver, the LORD is our king; he will save us.

              We don't need a tripartite government as long as we have our triune God.

              James 4:12 There is one lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy: who art thou that judgest another?
              A wise man’s heart inclines him to the right, but a fool’s heart to the left. (Ecclesiastes 10:2)

              Comment

              • Pastor Isaac Peters
                Senior Pastor
                Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
                Always Biblically correct
                True Christian™
                • Sep 2006
                • 10639

                #8
                Originally posted by Prune Danish View Post
                Somehow it doesn't seem right. I can't picture Jesus standing in the voting booth, giving power to a mere mortal Episcopalian - even if it is one of the Bush'es.
                I know it's risky to disagree with such a learned man of God as Pastor Prune Danish, but God, being perfect, is also perfect at delegating, as good managers do:

                Romans 13:1: Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.
                This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

                Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

                sigpic

                Comment

                • Bobby-Joe
                  Landover Security Superviser
                  Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
                  NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
                  True Christian™
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 18405

                  #9
                  Originally posted by Prune Danish View Post
                  Somehow it doesn't seem right. I can't picture Jesus standing in the voting booth, giving power to a mere mortal Episcopalian - even if it is one of the Bush'es.
                  He doesn’t stand in a voting booth Brother; He remotely access your Diebold voting machine and acts your vote the way He wants it. PRAISE!

                  Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

                  Hot Must ReadThreads!


                  Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

                  Comment

                  • Glendora Christianson
                    Spiritual Mother of LBC
                    True Christian™
                    • Sep 2006
                    • 2329

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Prune Danish View Post
                    Somehow it doesn't seem right. I can't picture Jesus standing in the voting booth, giving power to a mere mortal Episcopalian - even if it is one of the Bush'es.

                    Why would Jesus bother to vote for distribution of judiciary, legislative and executive power, when they already belong to Himself?

                    Isaiah 33:22 For the LORD is our judge, the LORD is our lawgiver, the LORD is our king; he will save us.

                    We don't need a tripartite government as long as we have our triune God.

                    James 4:12 There is one lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy: who art thou that judgest another?
                    Do I detect a bit of jealousy? You know how much we would welcome you here in God's favorite country. I am sorry you are not able to live on the same soil as our president/savior Bush, brother Prune.
                    Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.

                    Comment

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