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Top news story this morning is some libtard threatening to release House Speaker Mike Johnson's grindr account data.
I have to say that this story both shocked me and struck close to home. You see, I too have a grindr profile. I'm here to let everyone in the Landover Baptist Church know that I am completely heterosexual.
What happened in my case is that, as you know, I grew up on my family's farm, where, among other things, one of my chores was preparing homemade sausages. I never really saw it as a chore, though, because I absolutely LOVE eating sausages. Big sausages, little sausages, spicy Mexican sausages, I enjoy them all. Nearly every day, I would invite a friend over, haul out my meat grinder, and enjoy an hour or so of sausage packing before starting my homework.
Well, about a decade ago, when I lived in New York City's Greenwich Village, I expressed my love for sausage to a neighbor who told me that I could find lots of my fellow sausage fanatics at a website called grindr. I have been using the site ever since to exchange sausage pics, and sometimes to invite the other grindr members to mutual sausage grinding, packing, and eating sessions ever since. It never even crossed my mind that some men were using that website for unnatural activities.
So, if, during this fiasco, my grindr profile details are made public, I hope that you all will read them with this explanation in mind.
While I have no first-hand knowledge, I am confident that Speaker Johnson's grindr story is just as innocent as mine.
I have to say that this story both shocked me and struck close to home. You see, I too have a grindr profile. I'm here to let everyone in the Landover Baptist Church know that I am completely heterosexual.
What happened in my case is that, as you know, I grew up on my family's farm, where, among other things, one of my chores was preparing homemade sausages. I never really saw it as a chore, though, because I absolutely LOVE eating sausages. Big sausages, little sausages, spicy Mexican sausages, I enjoy them all. Nearly every day, I would invite a friend over, haul out my meat grinder, and enjoy an hour or so of sausage packing before starting my homework.
Well, about a decade ago, when I lived in New York City's Greenwich Village, I expressed my love for sausage to a neighbor who told me that I could find lots of my fellow sausage fanatics at a website called grindr. I have been using the site ever since to exchange sausage pics, and sometimes to invite the other grindr members to mutual sausage grinding, packing, and eating sessions ever since. It never even crossed my mind that some men were using that website for unnatural activities.
So, if, during this fiasco, my grindr profile details are made public, I hope that you all will read them with this explanation in mind.
While I have no first-hand knowledge, I am confident that Speaker Johnson's grindr story is just as innocent as mine.
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