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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78552

    #1

    Why America is in Afghanistan; The Genius of GWB

    Praise Jesus, I knew this day would come. THIS news story has illustrated the REAL reasons why our brilliant president George W. Bush invaded Afghanistan.

    ...The United States has discovered nearly $1 trillion in untapped mineral deposits in Afghanistan, far beyond any previously known reserves and enough to fundamentally alter the Afghan economy and perhaps the Afghan war itself, according to senior American government officials.

    The previously unknown deposits -- including huge veins of iron, copper, cobalt, gold and critical industrial metals like lithium -- are so big and include so many minerals that are essential to modern industry that Afghanistan could eventually be transformed into one of the most important mining centers in the world, the United States officials believe.
    Brother Trent, I told you that I'd fix you up! You don't have to sleep in your car anymore. Haliburton has been looking for you to be their boy in Afghanistan!
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
  • Rebuko the Clown
    The Friendliest Clown in Town™
    Proud recovering ex-alcoholic, ex-addict, and ex-convict
    True Christian™
    • Jun 2010
    • 197

    #2
    Re: Why America is in Afghanistan; The Genius of GWB

    Of course this could only come out of a business-savvy, pro-capitalist institution like the Bush Administration. Even though all these idiot liberals whine about the cost of this war (this site says the Afghan war has cost $277 billion as of right now), you have to look at the big picture. We will be making a huge profit out of this war! It was worth every penny and life spent!


    YES! I AM A CLOWN FOR CHRIST! Owner/Operator of Lord's Derisive Laughter Christian Clown Ministry.
    Read my inspiring testimonial of how I came to Christ!
    Rebuko's Sleepover Castle - Let your kids spend the night at my place for a One-Night Jesus Camp experience!

    Comment

    • Justin Z
      Forum Member
      Forum Member
      • Jun 2010
      • 130

      #3
      Re: Why America is in Afghanistan; The Genius of GWB

      And we got to use our guns on filthy women and children towel heads.

      Comment

      • Nobar King
        Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
        Christ's Guardian
        True Christian™
        • Sep 2007
        • 23748

        #4
        Re: Why America is in Afghanistan; The Genius of GWB

        After all we've done for Afghanistan, and all the support we've given them, and considering how much help they're going to need to get back into the stone age, I would think that they'd be fighting to get to be the 51'st state.
        May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

        Comment

        • GOD=life
          WARNING: Do not attempt to debate. You will lose horribly.
          True Christian™
          • Jan 2010
          • 3263

          #5
          Re: Why America is in Afghanistan; The Genius of GWB

          The time has come for all the liberals to issue a formal apology to President Bush.

          Obama should get on his knees and beg for forgiveness. First from God, then from President Bush. Then from the American People he deceived.
          I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen

          Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
          Matthew 7:22
          Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
          Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

          Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.

          Comment

          • True Disciple
            True Christian™ Creation Scientist
            Landover Baptist University Associate Professor
            Smashing atheist science one fact at a time
            True Christian™
            • Nov 2009
            • 2445

            #6
            Re: Why America is in Afghanistan; The Genius of GWB

            I have always been deeply impressed by the wisdom of Godly George W. Bush. His economic policies were simply brilliant, like the way he spent billions of dollars he didn't even have, like Jesus handed out loaves and fishes He didn't have. Isn't that great? He truly was a man of God.
            Sweet Lord Jesus,
            I want to pray for those who persecute me, my Lord.
            Please, treat their children as you treated those of Egypt, when they upset you! (Psalm 135:8-9)
            Dash their little children against the stones for their fathers iniquity! (Psalm 137:8-9)
            Hit them on the cheek, and smash out their teeth! (Psalm 3:7)
            Make their death and descent into Hell swift and terrible! (Psalm 55:15)
            Scatter their broken bodies over the streets of their evil cities, like Benghazi, Amsterdam, Tokyo and Mecca! (Psalm 110:6)
            Praised be Your Glorious Name™.

            Amen.

            Comment

            • Pastor Isaac Peters
              Senior Pastor
              Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
              Always Biblically correct
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2006
              • 10639

              #7
              Re: Why America is in Afghanistan; The Genius of GWB

              We've already made Afghanistan the world's leading exporter by far of a certain agricultural product, and now this. How do you say, "Mission Accomplished!" in Pashto?
              This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

              Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

              sigpic

              Comment

              • Dirk
                True Christian™
                • Apr 2010
                • 1425

                #8
                Re: Why America is in Afghanistan; The Genius of GWB

                I love capitalism!

                Comment

                • True Disciple
                  True Christian™ Creation Scientist
                  Landover Baptist University Associate Professor
                  Smashing atheist science one fact at a time
                  True Christian™
                  • Nov 2009
                  • 2445

                  #9
                  Re: Why America is in Afghanistan; The Genius of GWB

                  Originally posted by Dirk View Post
                  I love capitalism!
                  Amen, Brother! So does God:

                  Haggai 2:8-9:
                  The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, saith the LORD of hosts.
                  The glory of this latter house shall be greater than of the former, saith the LORD of hosts: and in this place will I give peace, saith the LORD of hosts.
                  Sweet Lord Jesus,
                  I want to pray for those who persecute me, my Lord.
                  Please, treat their children as you treated those of Egypt, when they upset you! (Psalm 135:8-9)
                  Dash their little children against the stones for their fathers iniquity! (Psalm 137:8-9)
                  Hit them on the cheek, and smash out their teeth! (Psalm 3:7)
                  Make their death and descent into Hell swift and terrible! (Psalm 55:15)
                  Scatter their broken bodies over the streets of their evil cities, like Benghazi, Amsterdam, Tokyo and Mecca! (Psalm 110:6)
                  Praised be Your Glorious Name™.

                  Amen.

                  Comment

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