Global Warming

[Marshall]

Must be happening on the other side of the Earth because it's been chilly here for a week. Go figure.

I see the disgusting Liberal and all-around sinner Al Gore has made an entire movie designed to scare folks into voting Democrat. The name escapes me but it was typically Alarmist sounding something about "unfortunate" or whatever it was lame. Christ does not approve of the bleeding hearts and artists using this type of propaganda to benefit the Satanic Left. Even going as far as insinuating our Leader has "dropped the ball" and the planet is overheating. Of course nothing could be further from the truth since George W. Bush has every True Americans™ best interests in mind everytime he makes a decision and he wouldn't let the planet get warmer without a press conference. This garbage has a lot of hippies foaming at the bong about "the environment" and "the future". Well folks, the future is with Jesus and He thinks Al Gore is a moron and I agree. This film is a blatant hatchet-job on our President, and during a war too. Shame on all you peacnik losers I hope you are happy with yourselves when Satan is mounting your tender backsides in HELL.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Global Warming

Praise Jesus and thank you Brother Marshall for that inspiring essay. All I can say is that since "Global Warming" is a myth created by liberal environmantalistas with the express intention of embarassing our Godly GWB, we can ignore all of the lies put out by the knee-jerk left on the matter. Including the blatantly communistic propaganda films by Algore.

Besides, Jesus will be dropping by soon, and with a wave of His mighty sword, all shall be made right. That's why I toss my trash out the window of my Linclon Navigator every chance I get. To do otherwise would appear to support satan.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Global Warming

Godly words Brother Marshall, Godly words.

If this "warming" is true let's look at it logically;

* Rise in sea level; I live in Iowa.

* It's hotter. I have air-conditioning.

Clearly this whole think is a blatant attempt to panic the American public to Satanism.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Global Warming

We True Christians™ know that "global warming" is a lie from the pit of hell for the following reason. If such a thing were to happen, it would cause widespread flooding, something that according to the Holy Bible cannot happen.

The reason is found in the story of Noah’s Ark in Genesis. God, who does not repent (Numbers 23:19), repented of having created mankind (Gen. 6:6). God instructed Noah to bring two of every kind of animal (Gen. 6:19-20), or maybe it was seven of the clean beasts and the birds (Gen. 7:2-3). It must have been a special blessing that Noah would know which beasts were clean, since the dietary laws wouldn’t be revealed for another eight hundred years – but I digress. God killed all living things with a flood except for Noah and his family and the creatures on the Ark (Gen. 7:21-22) and then promised Noah that no such thing would ever happen again (Gen. 9:11).

As you can see, the Bible is crystal clear on this point, as it is on everything. Are you going to trust a bunch of scientists who think that they know more about the earth than its Creator, or are you going to trust the Creator?

So don’t worry about global warming, since the Bible proves that no such thing is happening. Instead, you should worry about something that will actually affect your life, like gay marriage.

[Hushed_Agony]

Re: Global Warming

Godly words Brother Marshall, Godly words.

If this "warming" is true let's look at it logically;

* Rise in sea level; I live in Iowa.
"is a plumber"
* It's hotter. I have air-conditioning.
"is a tin knockin' refrig man"
Clearly this whole think is a blatant attempt to panic the American public to Satanism.

A man of the trade will help keep God's favorite church upright and where it should be (temperature and at sea level)

YIC
Hushed

[Marshall]

Re: Global Warming

Well it's already begun to snow in areas of the US. That doesn't seem like a "warming trend" to me.
And where were all the hurricaines that were predicted to destroy the coast this past year? I didn't even hear the tired crutch of the eco-wackos "El Nino" mentioned. Did this imaginary friend disappear?

Yet they still make their claims and assertions based on scien-satanist ramblings and mumbo jumbo about the ozone and the atmosphere. They use big words to confound and confuse Jesus followers and to cause doubt in the Masters plan. The Left are so easily duped they believe anything so long as some idiot Atheist professor says it's true. Well I got Jesus telling me it isn't and thats all I need.

Friends, Global Warming is a fallacy and could not possibly be true. They speak of cycles and yet in the whole of the Earths existance there has not been a similar event. If this is a cycle then the cycle is longer than six thousand years and as we know, only God is older than Earth. There are so many holes in this crackpot theory it's ridiculous.

[eliot mayfield]

Re: Global Warming

I'm sorry brothers, but you are all wrong, possibly misled. Global warming is a fact. The scientests are completely wrong about it though. There are so many buddhists and mooslims and hippies and homers and goths ..... going to Hell that satan has had to turn the furnaces up full blast. Not to mention the pressure of cramming all those sinners into hell is causing the Earth to crack a bit. That's why we're having so many eartquakes. As to why it's snowing, maybe the furnaces are being repaired?

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Global Warming

There are so many buddhists and mooslims and hippies and homers and goths ..... going to Hell that satan has had to turn the furnaces up full blast.

I suppose that we can also add people who don't mind living in the blue states and people who can't admit to simply reading something because "deconstructing texts" sounds more impressive.

[Marshall]

Re: Global Warming

I'm sorry brothers, but you are all wrong, possibly misled. Global warming is a fact. The scientests are completely wrong about it though. There are so many buddhists and mooslims and hippies and homers and goths ..... going to Hell that satan has had to turn the furnaces up full blast. Not to mention the pressure of cramming all those sinners into hell is causing the Earth to crack a bit. That's why we're having so many eartquakes. As to why it's snowing, maybe the furnaces are being repaired?

Now that makes a little more sense than my trucks engine polluting the earth.

I have another conterpoint to this whole Democratic scam for votes. During the first 70 years of the 20th century there were practically no restrictions on "emissions" yet it is only now in the past 20 years that it has been a problem? Give me a break. If this theory was fact, then the planet would have reached boiling point during by late 60s when 7 liter bigblocks ruled the roads. My Road Runner has a 440 cubic inch V8 and it gets almost 11 miles to the gallon, a modern V8 gets 20 or more typically. The technology has improved so the effect on the "environment" should have reduced accordingly. There is no such thing as global warming and Al Gore should shut up and go read a Bible.

[Glendora Christianson]

Smog Helps Slow Down Global Warming

The nice man who sold me my GMC Yukon with 7.4 liter V-10 engine explained how the smog from my (new with leather interior) car helps to shade the planet from the harsh rays of the sun. I feel Jesus himself helped me pick out that beautiful Yukon with pearly white paint. And now that gas has dropped to $2 per gallon, I'm sure our godly Republican party will win big in November!

Mental note: Remember to buy 3000 gallons before Nov 10.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Smog Helps Slow Down Global Warming

The nice man who sold me my GMC Yukon with 7.4 liter V-10 engine explained how the smog from my (new with leather interior) car helps to shade the planet from the harsh rays of the sun. I feel Jesus himself helped me pick out that beautiful Yukon with pearly white paint. And now that gas has dropped to $2 per gallon, I'm sure our godly Republican party will win big in November!

Mental note: Remember to buy 3000 gallons before Nov 10.

Praise Jesus!! Let all the naysayers and Jesus mockers take heed. It is stories like this one that tie all the loose ends together and re-establish without a doubt that Christ Himself is involved in our lives each and every day.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Global Warming

Must be happening on the other side of the Earth because it's been chilly here for a week. Go figure.

I see the disgusting Liberal and all-around sinner Al Gore has made an entire movie designed to scare folks into voting Democrat. The name escapes me but it was typically Alarmist sounding something about "unfortunate" or whatever it was lame. Christ does not approve of the bleeding hearts and artists using this type of propaganda to benefit the Satanic Left. Even going as far as insinuating our Leader has "dropped the ball" and the planet is overheating. Of course nothing could be further from the truth since George W. Bush has every True Americans™ best interests in mind everytime he makes a decision and he wouldn't let the planet get warmer without a press conference. This garbage has a lot of hippies foaming at the bong about "the environment" and "the future". Well folks, the future is with Jesus and He thinks Al Gore is a moron and I agree. This film is a blatant hatchet-job on our President, and during a war too. Shame on all you peacnik losers I hope you are happy with yourselves when Satan is mounting your tender backsides in HELL.

Global warming is REAL. Anyone who doesn't believe it should come here. It just isn't right that there are days in winter where even a light jacket is too hot and days in spring which, 5 years ago, would have been considered a hot summer day. I dread to think of what summer will be like. Gore is a good man. Leave him alone. I'd vote for him if he ran again.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Global Warming

(nonsensical yammering deleted) Gore is a good man. Leave him alone. I'd vote for him if he ran again.

You would vote for anyone that satan told you vote for. Thankfully, you will not have the opportunity to vote for that overblown clintonista fool ever again. Jesus has fixed his wagon.

Get used to this, witch: Jesus has hand-picked GWB as our president. There is no sign at all that He has changed His mind.

[Marshall]

Re: Global Warming

Global warming is REAL. Anyone who doesn't believe it should come here. It just isn't right that there are days in winter where even a light jacket is too hot and days in spring which, 5 years ago, would have been considered a hot summer day. I dread to think of what summer will be like. Gore is a good man. Leave him alone. I'd vote for him if he ran again.

A: You're an unsaved harlot so who cares what you think or who you'd waste your undeserved vote on.

B: Global Warming is a myth invented by the Left to distract from all their scandals and to make Jesus choice for President, George W. Bush, look bad.

C:We already know that it's hot where you are, it's always hot in Hell so whats your point?

D: Al Gore is an ignorant turd and should get right with the Lord before Jesus returns and kicks his Liberal ass through the goalposts of Hell.

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: Global Warming

Global warming is REAL. Anyone who doesn't believe it should come here. It just isn't right that there are days in winter where even a light jacket is too hot and days in spring which, 5 years ago, would have been considered a hot summer day. I dread to think of what summer will be like. Gore is a good man. Leave him alone. I'd vote for him if he ran again.

Leave it to the Hell-bound to completely ignore God's ability to take care of HIS planet! And besides, it still gets cold enough to make Mother Glynndie scrape the frost off her windshield . . . can't we just let it get warm enough so I don't have to get on a step stool and scrape that windshield? (Also, I'm tired of dragging my hoochies across the cold fender of my Yukon. Every time I get dressed up in my best white blouse, I end up getting it dirty right across my bosoms!)

PS GOD made air conditioners for those who can afford them, so being too hot is nothing more than punishment for the poor and lazy.

PS PS For those of you who aren't fortunate enough to live in God's favorite country, perhaps you should watch this imformative video, so that you can better understand America's energy priorities: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VY1zP22knwI&NR