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  • Jeb Stuart Thurmond
    Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
     
    • Jun 2007
    • 6572

    #1

    The updated Bill Of Rights (Proposal)

    As disclosed to me by undisclosed high-level sources. I think it needs Biblical citations, but other than that, I say it's good to go. Comments?



    Preamble

    Faithful and patriotic Americans, having come to realize that our country is going to hell in a hand-basket, and expressing a desire to curtail the degeneracy and wickedness creeping across the land, recognize that salvation requires the prompt ratification of the following Commandments derived from Holy Scripture; that they be inserted before Article I of the Constitution; and upon ratification shall in every case supersede all Articles or Amendments with which they may conflict; and that, moreover and furthermore, every reference in said Constitution to the "United States of America" shall be replaced by the "Dominion of America."

    Commandment I

    Congress shall strike down the free exercise of any religion that has not been approved by the most sanctified committee on Fidelity, Uprightness, Behaving And Reeducation; and at all times prohibit the free speech of atheists, pagans and other blasphemers who deny the Divinity of Our Redeemer; or who say bad words publicly or when eavesdropped on in their homes.

    Commandment II

    No Senator or Representative shall approve legislation, attend hearings or committee meetings or otherwise appear in the hallowed halls of Congress, not even the lobby, when she is in the midst of her monthlies, for this be unclean; nor shall she return until after the passage of seven days from the onset of this disgusting condition as determined by the sergeant-at-arms of the House of Representatives or such other delegate as shall be chosen by the most sanctified committee on Fidelity, Uprightness, Behaving And Reeducation; nor shall any member whose belly be swollen by pregnancy remind us of the act that caused this condition by appearing publicly in any official capacity whatsoever; nor when she has borne the child shall she nurse it within 500 feet of a federal building.

    Commandment III

    Any state, county, municipality, town, village or settlement which grants licenses for the legal coupling of abomination, whether this be two men together or two women, shall be considered in rebellion against the Dominion of America and occupied forthwith by soldiers, be they military or mercenary; and deprived without delay of all federal budgetary earmarks; and be subject to year-round scolding until such time as it shall publicly recant; and be made to suffer additional repercussions to be determined by the most sanctified committee on Fidelity, Uprightness, Behaving And Reeducation.

    Commandment IV

    The teaching of Darwinism, Big Bang physics, geologic time scales, and any other such ludicrous theories shall not be tolerated no matter what scientists say, even the Christian ones.

    Commandment V

    No book, film, tape recording, video, DVD, CD, visual or audio download, hologram, or any other digital package in whatever technological format invented prior to the Rapture which fails to obtain a Godly rating from the most sanctified committee on Fidelity, Uprightness, Behaving And Reeducation shall be manufactured, shipped, sold, traded, gifted, viewed or listened to excepting only by members of the most sanctified committee on Fidelity, Uprightness, Behaving And Reeducation.

    Commandment VI

    Tax deductions of no kind shall be afforded to people who refuse to say their prayers every day.

    Commandment VII

    Any woman who lies with with a man not her husband shall be delivered to a public place where she shall be put to death by the throwing of rocks or other suitable objects; and the same thing shall be done to a man who lies with a man, or a woman with a woman, or anybody with a dog or a sheep; and the same for a man who lies with another man’s wife, unless the wife is married to the man’s uncle, or to his brother; but any man who forces an unmarried woman without a boyfriend to lie with him must pay her father for damages and marry her and not divorce her forever.

    Commandment VIII

    No court or classroom or legislature or fire station or restaurant or hotel or health spa or hospital or tavern or movie theater or real estate office or car dealership or tourist dive shall be licensed unless it has prominently posted a copy of the Ten Commandments as given by God to Moses on Mount Sinai, nor shall such copy be smaller than 3 feet by 5 feet.

    Commandment IX

    People who show up to vote marked by tattoos or strange haircuts, or who have trimmed their beards into roundness, or have shaved their heads, or who wear clothes of mixed textiles shall be disfranchised; and shall lose their eligibility to apply for government-backed student loans; nor shall they be allowed mortgage-interest deductions; and they shall forfeit their Social Security.

    Commandment X

    People who says bad things about God, as determined by the most sanctified committee on Fidelity, Uprightness, Behaving And Reeducation shall be taken to a public place where their mouths will be scrubbed with soap and faithful patriots shall throw rocks and other suitable objects at them until they die.

    Commandment XI

    No woman who conceives a child shall under any circumstances for any reason, including the prospect of certain death, remove the child or have it removed by any means whatsoever; and any woman who claims that she miscarried shall be physically inspected, have her habits evaluated, and be tested by means of polygraph under the supervision of the most sanctified committee on Fidelity, Uprightness, Behaving And Reeducation, which, if it deems appropriate, shall deliver her up for punishment as set forth in Commandment VII.

    Commandment XII

    The 13th, 14th and 15th Amendments to the Constitution are hereby repealed. Slavery is okay. The Bible says so.
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  • DJ Troll
    Confirmed Enemy of God
    BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
    • Jan 2008
    • 31

    #2
    Re: The updated Bill Of Rights (Proposal)

    Great ideas NAZI!!

    Comment

    • Bobby-Joe
      Landover Security Superviser
      Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
      NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2006
      • 18405

      #3
      Re: The updated Bill Of Rights (Proposal)

      Originally posted by DJ Troll View Post
      Great ideas NAZI!!
      While is it a wonderful idea I hardly see how that makes Brother Jeb a Nazi. Hitler was an atheist after all.

      Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

      Hot Must ReadThreads!


      Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

      Comment

      • Father Thomas Martin
        Pedantic Pubescent Pedophile Papist Proselytizer
        • Jul 2007
        • 1015

        #4
        Re: The updated Bill Of Rights (Proposal)

        If these holier-than-thou laws make it, I will ask for Wisconsin to secede from the USA!
        ACTS 5:29

        But Peter and the apostles said in reply, "We must obey God rather than men."
        There you have it-so WHAT'S STOPPING YOU COWARDS?

        Comment

        • VictoryOS
          True Christian™ Beauty Queen
           
          • Dec 2007
          • 5388

          #5
          Re: The updated Bill Of Rights (Proposal)

          Originally posted by Father Thomas Martin View Post
          If these holier-than-thou laws make it, I will ask for Wisconsin to secede from the USA!
          That's fine. We'll make our own cheese.
          Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
          in 2016

          Comment

          • Father Thomas Martin
            Pedantic Pubescent Pedophile Papist Proselytizer
            • Jul 2007
            • 1015

            #6
            Re: The updated Bill Of Rights (Proposal)

            On second thought, secession wouldn't be the best idea:

            Let me introduce:

            Commandment XIII

            At every polling place, police search, or any other public event, guards shall be stationed at the gate, and shall be equipped with Eucharistic hosts. Every person shall be approached, and when they are, the guards shall hold up the host and ask them this one question: "Is this host Jesus: Body, Blood, Soul, & Divinity?"

            If (s)he should say, "Yes" (as can be proven in John 6 and in the Last Supper accounts) that person shall be let in.
            If (s)he should say, "No" that person shall be arrested and taken to the dungeon.

            Commandment XIV

            A person arrested under Commandment XIII shall be taken to the public square the following morning at dawn and tied to a pile of twigs. John 6 and all accounts of the Last Supper (not the Krud Jokey Villianny) shall be read to him, and after it is finished, the host shall be held up again, and the question asked before the arrest shall be asked again.

            If the defendant says "Yes", (s)he shall go free.
            If the defendant says "No", the branches shall be lit, and (s)he shall burn, with the blood on the person's own hands.

            How do you like THEM apples?
            ACTS 5:29

            But Peter and the apostles said in reply, "We must obey God rather than men."
            There you have it-so WHAT'S STOPPING YOU COWARDS?

            Comment

            • Frater Matthias
              Unsaved trash
              Under Investigation
              • Jan 2008
              • 18

              #7
              Re: The updated Bill Of Rights (Proposal)

              The OP's attempt at an updated version of the Bill of Rights are ludicrous and laughable. Not to mention that most of those things would completely violate the US Constitution and what the very existence of this country stands for. I like to have my freedoms intact and well, thank you.
              You carry the Emperor's will as your torch, with it destroy the shadows.
              -Verses of Sigismund, Book CIV, Verse I

              Comment

              • Father Thomas Martin
                Pedantic Pubescent Pedophile Papist Proselytizer
                • Jul 2007
                • 1015

                #8
                Re: The updated Bill Of Rights (Proposal)

                Originally posted by Frater Matthias View Post
                The OP's attempt at an updated version of the Bill of Rights are ludicrous and laughable. Not to mention that most of those things would completely violate the US Constitution and what the very existence of this country stands for. I like to have my freedoms intact and well, thank you.
                I am a total proponent of freedom as well.

                But if they want a dictatorship, I'll give 'em one!
                ACTS 5:29

                But Peter and the apostles said in reply, "We must obey God rather than men."
                There you have it-so WHAT'S STOPPING YOU COWARDS?

                Comment

                • Frater Matthias
                  Unsaved trash
                  Under Investigation
                  • Jan 2008
                  • 18

                  #9
                  Re: The updated Bill Of Rights (Proposal)

                  Well, preferably I'd like to have no dictatorships period, Father. No offense but I haven't seen any thing good come out of any countries ruled over by a dictatorship. And of course, I stand firm that Church and State affairs should be as far away from each other as possible.
                  You carry the Emperor's will as your torch, with it destroy the shadows.
                  -Verses of Sigismund, Book CIV, Verse I

                  Comment

                  • JennyD
                    Honorary True Christian™
                    Sweet Placid Sister
                    Forum Member
                    • Dec 2007
                    • 9567

                    #10
                    Re: The updated Bill Of Rights (Proposal)

                    Originally posted by Frater Matthias View Post
                    The OP's attempt at an updated version of the Bill of Rights are ludicrous and laughable. Not to mention that most of those things would completely violate the US Constitution and what the very existence of this country stands for. I like to have my freedoms intact and well, thank you.
                    You don't quite get the point of a Constitutional AMENDMENT, do you, son? Once the Constitution is AMENDED, then what has been changed (as posted by Brother Jeb, and I believe directly from a certain candidate's offices) IS part of the Constitution.

                    An AMENDMENT cannot be UNCONSTITUTIONAL.

                    Once Huckabee is elected President and appoints proper justices to the Supreme Court, and the state legislatures elect Republican majorities, then these AMENDMENTS will sail through ratification in a matter of weeks!
                    www.palibandaily.com - Your Christian News Source
                    Huckabee/Palin Gingrich 2012 will reclaim America for Christ! PRAISE!

                    Christian Ladies:
                    Savor your separation in style at the Monthly Visitor!

                    Comment

                    • Father Thomas Martin
                      Pedantic Pubescent Pedophile Papist Proselytizer
                      • Jul 2007
                      • 1015

                      #11
                      Re: The updated Bill Of Rights (Proposal)

                      Originally posted by JennyD View Post
                      You don't quite get the point of a Constitutional AMENDMENT, do you, son? Once the Constitution is AMENDED, then what has been changed (as posted by Brother Jeb, and I believe directly from a certain candidate's offices) IS part of the Constitution.

                      An AMENDMENT cannot be UNCONSTITUTIONAL.

                      Once Huckabee is elected President and appoints proper justices to the Supreme Court, and the state legislatures elect Republican majorities, then these AMENDMENTS will sail through ratification in a matter of weeks!
                      If, by the grace of God, Alan Keyes wins, Commandments XIII & XIV will pass, I'm sure of that!
                      ACTS 5:29

                      But Peter and the apostles said in reply, "We must obey God rather than men."
                      There you have it-so WHAT'S STOPPING YOU COWARDS?

                      Comment

                      • JennyD
                        Honorary True Christian™
                        Sweet Placid Sister
                        Forum Member
                        • Dec 2007
                        • 9567

                        #12
                        Re: The updated Bill Of Rights (Proposal)

                        What, do the Catholics have a Magic Negro, too?!
                        www.palibandaily.com - Your Christian News Source
                        Huckabee/Palin Gingrich 2012 will reclaim America for Christ! PRAISE!

                        Christian Ladies:
                        Savor your separation in style at the Monthly Visitor!

                        Comment

                        • Father Thomas Martin
                          Pedantic Pubescent Pedophile Papist Proselytizer
                          • Jul 2007
                          • 1015

                          #13
                          Re: The updated Bill Of Rights (Proposal)

                          Originally posted by JennyD View Post
                          What, do the Catholics have a Magic Negro, too?!
                          I thought you liked Alan Keyes because he stuck up for the things you stuck up for!
                          ACTS 5:29

                          But Peter and the apostles said in reply, "We must obey God rather than men."
                          There you have it-so WHAT'S STOPPING YOU COWARDS?

                          Comment

                          • Frater Matthias
                            Unsaved trash
                            Under Investigation
                            • Jan 2008
                            • 18

                            #14
                            Re: The updated Bill Of Rights (Proposal)

                            Originally posted by JennyD View Post
                            You don't quite get the point of a Constitutional AMENDMENT, do you, son? Once the Constitution is AMENDED, then what has been changed (as posted by Brother Jeb, and I believe directly from a certain candidate's offices) IS part of the Constitution.

                            An AMENDMENT cannot be UNCONSTITUTIONAL.

                            Once Huckabee is elected President and appoints proper justices to the Supreme Court, and the state legislatures elect Republican majorities, then these AMENDMENTS will sail through ratification in a matter of weeks!
                            You may be right about these things but quite frankly, what makes you think Huckabee, or any Republican for that matter, is going to win? The populous is done with Republicans for now. Moot point.

                            And those amendment changes are ridiculous anyway. Those wouldn't stand a chance of being passed if indeed by some act of God, we have another Republican President.
                            You carry the Emperor's will as your torch, with it destroy the shadows.
                            -Verses of Sigismund, Book CIV, Verse I

                            Comment

                            • Mrs. Mary Whitford
                              Ladies of Landover Senior VP
                              One of the Truest Christians™ Ever
                              Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
                              True Christian™
                              • Dec 2006
                              • 12414

                              #15
                              Re: The updated Bill Of Rights (Proposal)

                              Originally posted by Frater Matthias View Post
                              You may be right about these things but quite frankly, what makes you think Huckabee, or any Republican for that matter, is going to win? The populous is done with Republicans for now. Moot point.
                              What are you, some kind of commie with a "majority votes" fetish? If the popular vote matters, AL GORE would be president now and the terrorists would have won! I'm sure no decent person would want that nightmare scenario. That's why God ensured the right man for the job got the job, and He will do so again this November.
                              Posted via Prayer

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