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Fellow prayer warriors, the worst thing that could possibly happen has just happened in New Jersey.
From the lips of Satan himself
The activist justices in New Jersey, by granting homers the special privilege of equality, have just blasted the sacred institution of marriage to smithereens. Since there is no point to marriage unless it is reserved exclusively for the right people, we can expect New Jerseyans to divorce en masse and live in hippy communes, where they will dance skyclad around a golden calf sculpted to have Nathan Lane's head.
From the lips of Satan himself
HELD: Denying committed same-sex couples the financial and social benefits and privileges given to their married heterosexual counterparts bears no substantial relationship to a legitimate governmental purpose. The Court holds that under the equal protection guarantee of Article I, Paragraph 1 of the New Jersey Constitution, committed same-sex couples must be afforded on equal terms the same rights and benefits enjoyed by opposite-sex couples under the civil marriage statutes. The name to be given to the statutory scheme that provides full rights and benefits to same-sex couples, whether marriage or some other term, is a matter left to the democratic process.
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