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Praise Jesus I wanted to talk a little about George Washington, the father of God's favorite country (AMERICA!).
He was a God-fearing Republican, of course. He was wealthy, he had slaves, and he opposed taxes. Jesus chose him to lead us on the war against the rabid Anglicans, and the French and the injuns who wanted to take away our freedoms.
In an effort to educate the public, I am inviting my fellow True Christians(tm) to list interesting antecdotes about our very first president. I've got a couple of good ones to start things off.
Even as a young man, Washington seemed to possess a magical immunity to bullets. In one early encounter in the French and Injun War, he absorbed four bullets in his coat and hat and had two horses shot from under him yet emerged unscathed. This led one Injun chief to predict that some higher power was guiding him to great events in the future. Even a drunk redskin could see that Washington was chosen by God Almighty.
And do you know how everyone says that George Washington had false teeth made out of wood? Well they're as wrong as can be. Do you know what his false teeth were made out of?
Why the teeth of slaves, of course! Those strapping young buck nigras President Washington had working on his plantation didn't need their huge white chompers! All they ate was gruel anyway. So President Washington had them yanked out and made into dentures. Even the liberals have to admit that this is true!
He was a God-fearing Republican, of course. He was wealthy, he had slaves, and he opposed taxes. Jesus chose him to lead us on the war against the rabid Anglicans, and the French and the injuns who wanted to take away our freedoms.
In an effort to educate the public, I am inviting my fellow True Christians(tm) to list interesting antecdotes about our very first president. I've got a couple of good ones to start things off.
Even as a young man, Washington seemed to possess a magical immunity to bullets. In one early encounter in the French and Injun War, he absorbed four bullets in his coat and hat and had two horses shot from under him yet emerged unscathed. This led one Injun chief to predict that some higher power was guiding him to great events in the future. Even a drunk redskin could see that Washington was chosen by God Almighty.
And do you know how everyone says that George Washington had false teeth made out of wood? Well they're as wrong as can be. Do you know what his false teeth were made out of?
Why the teeth of slaves, of course! Those strapping young buck nigras President Washington had working on his plantation didn't need their huge white chompers! All they ate was gruel anyway. So President Washington had them yanked out and made into dentures. Even the liberals have to admit that this is true!
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