Rob Ford hospitalized with tumor

[Jim C. Lombardo]

The latest in politics up in that frigid polar ice cap of Canuckistan, word has gotten out that Rob Ford; the mayor of the State of Sodom and Gomorrah known as Toronto has been struck down with a tumor.

Mr. Ford has been effectively, and quite possibly the best thing that could have happened to Toronto, or Canada for that matter.




Elected in 2010, Ford has been Lording over those lazy, latte-sipping liberalites, taking the reigns from previous lame incumbents and running the city like a harp from Hell.

He is known for his substance abuse, drunk driving, crack-additions all of which he's amended for after having a "come-to-Jesus moment".

This man has lead a vigorous, righteous campaign all the way through even acknowledging the chinnies who work that land, cited that "they work like dogs." He's the only mayor ballsy enough to skip the stupid Pride parade and call the queers a bunch of maggots!

He's the best thing for Canada at the moment. He's almost put that wasteland on the map, almost. Sadly, this poor guy is outnumbered by whiny, liberal twits who don't know what a day's work is, spending more hours sitting at their computers jerking off and spewing smear campaigns against their mayor to the point it's given him a tumor! Please pray for Mayor Rob Ford! Together with PM Harper, they will allow for a smooth passage for the US to annex their land and claim Canada for the GLORY of GOD!

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Rob Ford hospitalized with tumor

I doubt that we will be able to annex Canada at this time.

Even if one was to ignore the beer drinking and all the marijuana smoking, there are too many Indians and Eskimos in Canada. I doubt they would agree to move to Oklahoma and we certainly couldn't have them living amongst other Americans. They are also likely resistant to massacre, in as much as they are armed.

No, I doubt that the Canadians will get their cherished wish to become Americans at this time.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Rob Ford hospitalized with tumor

PRAISE JESUS! I just KNOW that Jesus is using this opportunity to bring Glory unto Himself! I hope the Whole World knows of this growing tumor so the Whole World will know we are praying for healing and a deliverance of demons!

Oh Jesus, Sweet, Merciful, Powerful, Invisible Jesus, You ARE the Great Physician. We just come to You now to call on Your extraordinary Superhuman Healing Powers to create the Worlds Largest Tumor so that when You do destroy - it in Glory - Your Glory will be known to the Whole World! We just come to You in Faith and Hope and Praise! We just know You will hear the prayers of Your faithful, and You will miraculously Heal Thy servant of Moral Virtue and Biblical Standards! We just know You will come to Your Own Glory for all the World to see! We just know that You will take this opportunity to Heal the Sick. We just know You will take this opportunity to show the World that You are not limited by the natural laws of physics, the laws that motivate cancerous cells to multiply rapidly and create deadly tumors, the laws that You invented in Your Holy and Perfect Plan for our lives. We just come to you in Praise and Thanksgiving, that You would see Your Miraculous Nature in Your servant. And we just come to you in supplication, asking that if this be in Your Will, Mayor Ford would be healed. And we just thank you that if this NOT be in Your Will, Your Glory will be shown and praised! We just thank You either way, Jesus, because we just pray for Your Will to be done. We just thank you, Jesus, for doing what You had decided already to do.
Amen

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Rob Ford hospitalized with tumor

Praying!

[John Creeser]

Re: Rob Ford hospitalized with tumor

I doubt that we will be able to annex Canada at this time.

Even if one was to ignore the beer drinking and all the marijuana smoking, there are too many Indians and Eskimos in Canada. I doubt they would agree to move to Oklahoma and we certainly couldn't have them living amongst other Americans. They are also likely resistant to massacre, in as much as they are armed.

No, I doubt that the Canadians will get their cherished wish to become Americans at this time.

Keep those freaks out of America!!! Did you know 80% of their population lives within 200 miles of our border? Does anyone else find that suspicious? We talk about the messican threat to our border, but at least the beaners will work for .25 cents an hour and they work like tanks. The socialist Canadians minimum wage is like $20 an hour!!! That will sink America.

Not to mention they stink like musk and whine about our Godly American Beer.

Mayor Ford, however, is probably the only decent Canadian, I'll pray for him.

[Free Market Fred]

Re: Rob Ford hospitalized with tumor

Yes, it's sad that Godly Rob Ford has been struck down with a tumor, but it's really his own fault. I did warn him that swimming in Lake Ontario - downstream from my company's petrochemical plant - was OK for trailer trash, but members of the ruling class (such as our appointed stooge Sub-Prime Minister Steven Harper) would be wise to purchase a private lake somewhere further north. Despite the glowing reports on water quality churned out by the now privatized EPA (run by my company!), the basic rule of thumb is that if you wash your car and it takes the paint off, that's water you'd better not swim in.

Speaking of Eskimoland, during this summer I made a brief trip to Fort McMurray in the north of Alberta. It's a place of great history - called a "fort" because General Custer massacred a bunch of Injuns here a long time ago. Anyway, this is the center of the oil sand industry, owned by my company. Normally I would fly in with my Learjet, but this time decided to go with the company's weekly cargo flight, for reasons that should become clear if you read below.

The last time I was there was five years ago, so it was educational to see all the progress that has been made.


Skyline of beautiful Fort McMurray


Visiting the great north - a breath of fresh air!


Scenic drive from airport to downtown

Housing has always been an issue since the oil sands boom first started. With all the workers pouring in, accommodation has been tight. Thus, we've had to work hard to keep up with demand. I'm happy to see that there has been real progress there, and as a result fewer people are taking on roommates. Whereas previously up to 50 workers would squeeze into one tiny apartment, we've now got that down to an average of 30.


Rents start at $6000 per month - easy credit available!

I did say that I flew with a cargo flight. My company runs these regularly from Asia directly to Fort McMurray. This makes sense, since practically every item we sell in The Company Store™ is made in China. Down in the cargo hold, we also bring in a steady supply of new Chink, Cambodian and Bangladeshi workers, since few survive more than three years on the job.


Eager new recruit from Bangladesh...


...and his sister

As Fort McMurray has grown steadily from a sleepy eskimo igloo village into a modern metropolis, the city is slowly but surely gaining a reputation for its bustling night life. Considering all the Asian contract workers we've brought in, it's not surprising that some of them have moved into better-paying jobs so that they can reduce their debts owed to my company. Some of them hope that - in less than 30 years - they'll be debt-free, so that their kids don't have to work in the oil sand mines (as stipulated in all our worker contracts).


Debt-free in 30 years!

The town also has modern medical facilities. No need to bring your medications with you, as they can be purchased locally on the free market at competitive prices!


Fort McMurray Pharmacy - no prescription necessary!

A modern city with booming night life, right here in North America. Not surprisingly, Fort McMurray is beginning to attract organizations wishing to hold conventions. That's right - Fort McMurray is beginning to compete with Las Vegas for this lucrative business!


Fort McMurray Convention Center

Just this past July, the town hosted three Republican Party family values conferences! Rush Limbaugh even says that rather than attending the weekly family-values conference in the Dominican Republic, he's switching to Fort McMurray, at least during the summer months.


Greeter awaits family values conventioneers

So my advice to visitors to Canada - forget liberal-leftist Toronto with its "No Smoking" zones, solar panels, and homo coffee shops (where Negroes are even allowed to use the same bathrooms as white people!). Visit Fort McMurray - this booming town represents all that is good in America (and it's colony, Canada).

[The Best Korea]

Re: Rob Ford hospitalized with tumor

Glorious Rob Ford is also stepping down from the race for mayor. Hopefully his bother picks up the slack and continues to rule with the same righteousness.