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I'll admit it. I'm simply flabbergasted and gobsmacked.
I did not think there was any way possible to top last year's Southern Baptist Conference Fire and Brimstone Award™ winning Landover Baptist Church(R) Hell House, but our pastors and deacons have really gone the extra mile this year.
By special arrangement with the Devil himself, we are the 2015 exclusive USA redistribution partners for the 2015 Hell-o-ween Bash held right in Satan's court in downtown Hell. I guess the Prince of Darkness likes our money more than he hates the work we do to hold back the tide of Satanic initiatives such as gay "rights" and atheism and Catholicism and Obamacare.
So forget actors, forget pretending, forget everything you thought you knew about Hell! We will be bringing the full horror of eternal damnation live to you right here in historic Freehold, Iowa on the Landover Tabernacle® 32 story-tall IMAX™ dome. You'll see sinners screaming in agony, crying out in vain to Jesus to save them from the unbearable and never-ending torture. That's right--murderers, rapists, Sodomites, masturbators, adulterers, witches, divorcees, disobedient wives, even Jews--all of the worst sinners will be represented, roasting on spits in complete anguish as the demons snack away at their burned and bloated carcasses.
We guarantee that your children will behave themselves for a loooooong time after witnessing this event!
The admission price of just $250 per person ($2,500 for gold-circle of Hell tickets, which include a meet-and-greet with Pastor Deacon Fred after the show) includes free candy and beverages. 10% discount if you come dressed as one of Jesus's apostles.
It's going to be one Hell of a show.
I did not think there was any way possible to top last year's Southern Baptist Conference Fire and Brimstone Award™ winning Landover Baptist Church(R) Hell House, but our pastors and deacons have really gone the extra mile this year.
By special arrangement with the Devil himself, we are the 2015 exclusive USA redistribution partners for the 2015 Hell-o-ween Bash held right in Satan's court in downtown Hell. I guess the Prince of Darkness likes our money more than he hates the work we do to hold back the tide of Satanic initiatives such as gay "rights" and atheism and Catholicism and Obamacare.
So forget actors, forget pretending, forget everything you thought you knew about Hell! We will be bringing the full horror of eternal damnation live to you right here in historic Freehold, Iowa on the Landover Tabernacle® 32 story-tall IMAX™ dome. You'll see sinners screaming in agony, crying out in vain to Jesus to save them from the unbearable and never-ending torture. That's right--murderers, rapists, Sodomites, masturbators, adulterers, witches, divorcees, disobedient wives, even Jews--all of the worst sinners will be represented, roasting on spits in complete anguish as the demons snack away at their burned and bloated carcasses.
We guarantee that your children will behave themselves for a loooooong time after witnessing this event!
The admission price of just $250 per person ($2,500 for gold-circle of Hell tickets, which include a meet-and-greet with Pastor Deacon Fred after the show) includes free candy and beverages. 10% discount if you come dressed as one of Jesus's apostles.
It's going to be one Hell of a show.
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