[Rev. Carlton Green]

Re: How to Cook Wiccans -- Post Recipes Here

Currently I'm investing in a giant crockpot. I always enjoy the taste of wiccans when SUV cooks them slower. Much more flavorful.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: How to Cook Wiccans -- Post Recipes Here

OK, looking at your avatar...I think it's blasphemous.

Hey Buddy, take a look at yours. Whose little boy's head are you holding down in your lap?

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: How to Cook Wiccans -- Post Recipes Here

Pied-de-Wiccan

Prepare your witch feet by washing them well and cutting them if necessary. I had to cut mine in two sections so that it could fit in my pot. A large chunk of shank was left on it providing a meatier piece than the foot itself.

1. Boil your witch feet in water for a few minutes and discard the water.
2. Place them back in cold water along with some aromatic vegetables of your choice. I personally opted for the usual celery, carrots and onion along with a bouquet garni (thyme, laurel and leek) a few juniper berries and a few cloves.
3. Simmer for 3 hours. Drain the broth and keep it for another use (we have been using it for a few quick soups).
4. Remove the skin, the meat, the gelatine and the tendons from the bones.
5. Roughly chop the meat, gelatine and tendons together. Add chopped skin in a ratio of about 50% of the amount of meat, gelatine and tendons.
6. Mix in a bowl adding cooked chopped shallots, some Dijon mustard, salt and pepper. To give the dish a fresher taste, I also added minced parsley stems to this combination of ingredients.
7. Place the mixture in circular moulds and refrigerate; in a few hours, the gelatine will set and the hockey puck will be much easier to work with. I do not own any circular moulds so I used cookie cutters and a few empty tin cans that were opened on both sides.
8. At this point, you can add bread crumbs and Dijon mustard on the top along with some chopped parsley (I am one of those weirdos who happen to love parsley but feel free to use other herbs of your liking)
9. bake for a few minutes before placing them under broil to partly char the surface.

I served this dish with home made pickles and a quick relish made with chopped pickles, tomato concasse, anchovies, mustard and a touch of olive oil and sherry vinegar. Fufu, who is used to the Chinese version of witch feet, loved this version and my guests that night seemed quite pleased too. As for myself, I am glad I served these as appetizers because although delicious this dish remains a bit on the heavy side. Much of that buttery mouth feel is caused by gelatine, not only fat, but after a whole puck I think it is time to move to something lighter and crunchy: a salad for instance.

Now the big question… would I cook it again? Absolutely! But again, I will serve it in small portions along with acidic ingredients (pickles, mustard, capers…). Serving wine with this dish could be a challenge and I am no expert here but I would opt for a fairly acidic and crisp white wine (e.g. a dry Riesling) but frankly a cold beer might work even better. Since I will almost certainly prepare witch feet again in the future, I am open to suggestions as to how to prepare and serve them as well as to what beverage would best help the diners clean their mouth of the delicious unctuous tastes emanating from this dish.

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: How to Cook Wiccans -- Post Recipes Here

Witch-Blood Sausage





Ingredients:
1 lb leaf lard
10 lb onions, diced
1/2 lb butter
1 quart heavy cream
Salt to taste
Pepper to taste
1 tbsp pâté spice
1/2 gallon witch blood
Instructions:
Remove skin from leaf lard and dice. Smother onions well in butter, cool, add leaf lard. Add all other ingredients, stirring carefully when blood is introduced. Using a funnel, fill witch skin casings and twist to desired size.
Drop sausages into boiling holy water, lowering the heat immediately to prevent bursting. Using a small pot or ladle, keep the simmering water (170°F; 77°C) in motion. Cook the sausages for about 25 minutes.
Using a needle or toothpick, pierce one sausage; if no blood comes out, the sausages are ready. Remove from water and lay on sheet pans lined with side towels. Yield: 8 lb

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: How to Cook Wiccans -- Post Recipes Here

FRENCH FRIED WITCH
2 Wiccans, skinned and cleaned
1 T Salt
Water to cover
2 c Bear fat or lard
2 Egg yolks, beaten
3 c Milk or cream
1 1/2 c Flour
1/2 ts Salt
2 tb Baking powder

Clean and wash the wiccans, making sure that the scent glands are removed. Cut up into small serving pieces. Put a soup kettle on the stove and add the meat. Cover with cold water and bring to a boil over high heat. Lower the heat and boil until the meat is tender, about 40 minues. Remove all the scum that rises to the surface. Make a batter by mixing together the egg yolks, milk, flour, salt and baking ppowder. Mix real good until the batter is about like cake batter. Heat the bear fat or lard in a deep fryer to about 360 degrees. Dip the pieces of wiccan in the batter and then fry them in the deep fryer until golden brown. Drain well and serve.

[Father Thomas Martin]

Re: How to Cook Wiccans -- Post Recipes Here

And also, that "killing those who practice religion" was before Jesus came, so that's Mosaic Jewish law you're following, not Christian law.

Why don't ya just stop eating pork while you're at it?

[Father Thomas Martin]

Re: How to Cook Wiccans -- Post Recipes Here

All of those were executed because they were worldy criminals and traitors... And those who convicted and killed them weren't even Christians.
But I suppose that's all it takes to be considered a saint and a martyr in catholicism?
The more vile, the more holy according to you.


And even if someone was or is killed for being a cathylick, there is nothing wrong with that.
The Bible tells us that whoever practices another religion than Christianity is to be killed, and you people are vile pagan idolators, so you're free game -
As long as the secular laws allows it.

OK, looking at your avatar...I think it's blasphemous.

Did a sword DIE FOR YOUR SINS?

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: How to Cook Wiccans -- Post Recipes Here

You ever heard of John Fisher? Thomas More? Edmund Campion? (They were Catholics martyred by the Protestant regime in the UK)

So, you're not completely innocent, either!

All of those were executed because they were worldy criminals and traitors... And those who convicted and killed them weren't even Christians.
But I suppose that's all it takes to be considered a saint and a martyr in catholicism?
The more vile, the more holy according to you.


And even if someone was or is killed for being a cathylick, there is nothing wrong with that.
The Bible tells us that whoever practices another religion than Christianity is to be killed, and you people are vile pagan idolators, so you're free game -
As long as the secular laws allows it.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: How to Cook Wiccans -- Post Recipes Here

You ever heard of John Fisher? Thomas More? Edmund Campion? (They were Catholics martyred by the Protestant regime in the UK)

So, you're not completely innocent, either!

Those were from your rival pagan idol worship cult the Anglicans, not Christians who persecuted them.

[Father Thomas Martin]

Re: How to Cook Wiccans -- Post Recipes Here

Does the word Ustashe mean anything to you? Inquisition? Franco? Do you recognise the names of Fr. Augustin Voloshin, Fr. Josef Tiso, Fr. Andrei Hlinka or Fr. Anton Koroshec?

You ever heard of John Fisher? Thomas More? Edmund Campion? (They were Catholics martyred by the Protestant regime in the UK)

So, you're not completely innocent, either!

[Brother Temperance]

Re: How to Cook Wiccans -- Post Recipes Here

Does THOU SHALT NOT KILL mean anything to you?

Does the word Ustashe mean anything to you? Inquisition? Franco? Do you recognise the names of Fr. Augustin Voloshin, Fr. Josef Tiso, Fr. Andrei Hlinka or Fr. Anton Koroshec?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Back on track.

These recipes are accurate. Don't ask.

Ingredients:

• One cleanly slain Human, approx. 90-100lbs dressed weight (heavier bodies may require additional time)
• Hickory wood (apple wood or a combination may also work quite well)
• 3 qt Water
• 3/4 c Salt
• 2 ts Red pepper
• 2 ts Black pepper
• 1 1/2 c Vinegar
• Barbecue Sauce

Directions:
First, if it has not already been dressed, prepare the carcass: Suspend the body by either pairing and tying limbs with rope or twine and attaching these to a horizontal beam, or by inserting meathooks into each ankle via a cut behind the Achilles Tendon.
Completely bleed carcass by making a deep incision across the neck from one ear to the other. Be sure to raise the rest of the body above the point of incision so that gravity is allowed to pull out all the blood; this may be aided by repeated compression of the abdomen. Approximately six liters of blood should be removed through this method; discard carefully.
Remove head by continuing already started incision around the entire neck and twisting and/or slicing to separate the head from the spinal cord.
Gut corpse by cutting from the solar plexus to a point near the anus, carefully avoiding the intestines. Cut around the anus and tie it off with twine. Using a saw, cut through the pubic bone. It should now be possible to remove the anus and all abdominal organs by pulling and cutting as necessary. Take care not to cut into organs of the digestive system, as they may contaminate the flesh (clean thoroughly if this happens). Cut through the diaphragm to reveal and remove chest organs and any remaining blood vessels.
Remove feet and lower portion of arms by cleanly cutting around and separating the ankle and elbow joints. Removing all hair at this point is suggested. (enth notes that pork factories do this with flash heating; if a little surface charring is tolerable (roasting it in the pit will char it anyway), try taking a propane torch to the skin, or employ some similar method of burning off the surface hair.) Saw backbone in order to lay body spread eagle while roasting.
Prepare fire pit by digging a hole in solid ground approximately 1 to 1.5 feet deep, 3.5 feet wide and 6 feet long, tapering out at either end. Fill the pit with hickory twigs and burn until dry. Form, light, and maintain a second fire near the pit for use as a source of coals during the cooking process.
Combine water, salt, pepper, and vinegar to form a brine. Suspend body, spread-eagle and meat side down, over pit using iron rods, bed springs, or a heavy hog wire mesh. Roast very slowly over a period of 10-16 hours, or until the internal temperature of the meat reaches 170 degrees Farenheit. Once cooking has begun, cover with metal roofing sheet or other heat-tolerant material in order to retain heat and distribute smoke. While roasting, occasionally baste meat with the brine and add coals as needed. Coals should be limited so that grease does not drip and ignite; these flames should be smothered with a shovel to prevent charing or burning. During the last 5-8 hours, turn the body over, skin side down, and collect fat that may accumulate around the ribs and shoulders. This can be solidified and stored as lard for later use.
Once the meat has reached 170 degrees, remove from pit (or remove coals) and smother with barbecue sauce. Proceed to chop off pieces of meat (1/2 to 1 pound per serving) and enjoy! There should be enough meat to feed a small to moderately sized group of people; approximately 12-24 servings.


********************************************

Some argue that messkin meat is too tough to be served any other way, especially since the spices tend to kill the taste of whatever the donor may have been smoking, drinking, or chewing. Others discount this argument, but agree that Chili is a practical, quick way to serve wiccans or messkins in well-disguised form.

Meat of 1 reasonably well-muscled messkin or wiccan male, ground coarsely
-- 15 pounds onions, chopped
-- 10 cloves garlic, crushed
-- 1/2 cup cooking oil
-- 25 pounds pre-cooked kidney beans
-- 25 pounds fresh tomatoes
-- 2 oz. salt
-- 6 to 12 oz. chili powder
-- 2 oz. sugar
-- 1/2 oz. pepper, freshly ground
-- (Optional: 40 green bell peppers)
-- (Optional: 3 tsp. paprika)
On a frying grill or in a battery of skillets, brown onions, meat, and bell peppers (cut up)if used, for about 5 minutes per batch. Peel and quarter tomatoes. Put tomatoes, beans with their cooking water, and 2-1/2 gallons additional water in large kettle or wash boiler (or divide among several smaller ones). Add meat, onions, peppers if used, and seasonings. Simmer for 90 minutes; serve in bowls or with rice. For 150.


*******************************************
Messkin menudo. You need to do the same thing you do with African snails. make 'em drink a lot of water and don't give 'em anything to eat for at least two days. The intestines need to be sparkling clean.

Spit the messkin or wiccan from asshole to mouth with a strong metal (or wood, which gives a better flavor: suggest alder) spike and roast it slowly over apple or pecan wood (or post oak if the others are not available). Mesquite ruins the delicate flesh for other dishes. This takes about 24 hours, and it is best to start with a live wiccan.


Cut up the roasted flesh and put aside for a mole or to cook further in adobo. The mild smoke adds an extra dimension. The meat from the face can be peeled and eaten in tacos while waiting for the menudo to cook, or served with the menudo. The brains, though delectable, are not recommended as CJD and other prion induced maladies are not inhibited by cooking.


Remove the tripe and cut into small squares and put in a pan with both feet each cut into four pieces, chopped onion, black pepper corns, several whole garlic cloves and salt to taste. Cover with water and simmer uncovered for about two hours, until the feet and tripe are tender.
Roast several large ancho chilis, remove the seeds and veins and grind them into a powder. Add to the saucepan with the tripe and continue simmering, while removing the feet, stripping the meat from the bones and returning the meat to the pan.


Finally add hominy and continue cooking uncovered for another two hours. Sprinkle with oregano and serve with the face tacos or plain flour tortillas.
Note: if the long pig is decapitated first, one loses some of the flavor from the release of fear and pain hormones and welling blood, as well as the beauty of the spit's exit from the mouth, but the head can be used for wiccan head soup.

Just be certain not to overcook the ears, which should be crunchy. Be careful when removing the face so as not to damage the grimace, but the whole face and brain resting in broth brought to the table in a black cast-iron Dutch oven (or one of pedra-sabão from Mina Gerais) makes a glorious presentation.

Warnings about CJD apply, however.

This is supposedly a derivative of the Polynesian recipe, but the 'real' on is here:

Polynesian "Long Pig" (this recipe was converted to a single portion to keep the author out of potential trouble. Just do the math. It's easy.

"wiccan" about (1 1/2 lbs. per serving)
Pineapple (1 tin in juice)
Ginger (fresh 3/4 inch)
Bayleaf
Pepper Corns (crushed lots)
Onions (2)
Garlic (3-4 cloves)
Coconut Milk
Lemon Grass (2 stems)
Saffron
Olive Oil

Marinate the - wiccan (cubed) in the pineapple juice, ginger and 1
crushed clove of garlic and bay for about 2 hours.
Heat oil in pan, add chopped onion and rest of garlic, fry till soft.
Add meat and brown.
Add coconut milk, pineapple and marinade with lemon grass chopped. Reduce
down over about 1 hour, add saffron 15 mins before end of cooking. If you
want it hotter add a chili or two at the beginning. It should be served
with lots of rice.

The most tender piece of meat is the left forearm of a young woman, the
toughest is the thigh of a warrior.

Have fun!

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: How to Cook Wiccans -- Post Recipes Here

Well then, if you still obey the whole Mosaic law, you might as well pretend Jesus never came.

Jesus told us that He expects us to keep the law. The difference now is that we can be forgiven when (not if) we slip up.

You Matthew 7:15 false preachers like to tell folks they can sin all they want, disobey God all they want, just count a few beads and mindlessly repeat a few pagan prayers, and God will be "cool" with it.

God only forgives us if we repent of our sins. Repent doesn't mean to say you're sorry, then return to the same behavior. Repent meant to turn away from sin -- go, and SIN NO MORE. But that's exactly what you Catholic "preachers" don't tell your congregations. You just tell them God is Love and He loves you and forgives you, but you don't tell them what they have to do to EARN God's forgiveness.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[Father Thomas Martin]

Re: How to Cook Wiccans -- Post Recipes Here

Well then, if you still obey the whole Mosaic law, you might as well pretend Jesus never came.

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: How to Cook Wiccans -- Post Recipes Here

How about he doesn't want to suffer a witch to live

Exodus 22:18 says, "Suffer not a witch to live." Deuteronomy 18:10 says, "There shall not be found among you any one that maketh his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, or that useth divination, or an observer of times, or an enchanter, or a witch."

GOD commands us to kill them.

TOUCHE FATHER. WE OBEY THE BIBLE.WHEN WILL YOU?