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Two Person Horse Costume
I have been petitioning Congress to enact a law for this obscene costume. Two-Person Horse Costume Law will mandate that: (i) if a single man and a single woman wear a two-person horse costume, they shall be recognized as legally married; (ii) if two single men, two single women, a married couple, a single man and a married woman, or any other combination of people I'm having a hard time thinking of because I haven't had my afternoon nap yet wear a two-person horse costume, they both shall be placed on the national sex offender list; (iii) whoever wears the rear of the horse shall receive extra dirty looks from the judge upon sentencing.
Captain Kirk
On the television series Star Trek, Captain James T. Kirk porked every alien he encountered. The reason why tribbles kept multiplying was because Kirk kept fertilizing them.
You'd be better off letting your child dress up as Ron Jeremy, who did far less fornicating on film.
Ron Jeremy
I said you'd be better off. I didn't say you should. This costume comes with a protective copulation cap, a Ron Jeremy trademark mustache, easy on/easy off overalls in porno blue, and Lord knows what else.
Plus Size Superman and Fred Flintstone
Sorry, fat stuff. Nobody's buying that you can break Earth's gravity or fit in a phone booth. And if you're thinking of going as Fred Flintstone again this year, yabba dabba don't. Everyone's sick of you screaming "Wilma" and making stupid rock puns.
Naughty Nurse
I've been petitioning Congress about this costume, too. Naughty Nurse Costume Law will mandate that any girl wearing this titillating outfit is required to carry a real defibrillator for when I go into cardiac arrest. I'm thinking about adding a clause about a sponge bath as well.
Dorothy, Tin Man, Emeral City Guard, or Any Other Costume From the Wizard of Oz
Sure, The Wizard of Oz features not one, but two witches getting killed, but it also features a good witch, munchkins, poppies, a talking scarecrow, and flying monkeys. Furthermore, Dorothy dresses like a whore, wearing gaudy ruby slippers and showing more calf than a state fair. Also, notice how the Emerald City guard costume comes with a Ron Jeremy trademark mustache. Nobody who wears one of these costumes gets into heaven. Not nobody. Not nohow!
I have been petitioning Congress to enact a law for this obscene costume. Two-Person Horse Costume Law will mandate that: (i) if a single man and a single woman wear a two-person horse costume, they shall be recognized as legally married; (ii) if two single men, two single women, a married couple, a single man and a married woman, or any other combination of people I'm having a hard time thinking of because I haven't had my afternoon nap yet wear a two-person horse costume, they both shall be placed on the national sex offender list; (iii) whoever wears the rear of the horse shall receive extra dirty looks from the judge upon sentencing.
Captain Kirk
On the television series Star Trek, Captain James T. Kirk porked every alien he encountered. The reason why tribbles kept multiplying was because Kirk kept fertilizing them.
You'd be better off letting your child dress up as Ron Jeremy, who did far less fornicating on film.
Ron Jeremy
I said you'd be better off. I didn't say you should. This costume comes with a protective copulation cap, a Ron Jeremy trademark mustache, easy on/easy off overalls in porno blue, and Lord knows what else.
Plus Size Superman and Fred Flintstone
Sorry, fat stuff. Nobody's buying that you can break Earth's gravity or fit in a phone booth. And if you're thinking of going as Fred Flintstone again this year, yabba dabba don't. Everyone's sick of you screaming "Wilma" and making stupid rock puns.
Naughty Nurse
I've been petitioning Congress about this costume, too. Naughty Nurse Costume Law will mandate that any girl wearing this titillating outfit is required to carry a real defibrillator for when I go into cardiac arrest. I'm thinking about adding a clause about a sponge bath as well.
Dorothy, Tin Man, Emeral City Guard, or Any Other Costume From the Wizard of Oz
Sure, The Wizard of Oz features not one, but two witches getting killed, but it also features a good witch, munchkins, poppies, a talking scarecrow, and flying monkeys. Furthermore, Dorothy dresses like a whore, wearing gaudy ruby slippers and showing more calf than a state fair. Also, notice how the Emerald City guard costume comes with a Ron Jeremy trademark mustache. Nobody who wears one of these costumes gets into heaven. Not nobody. Not nohow!
Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth
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