The Mystery of Jesus' Foreskin

[Witch Hammer]

As I was watching the scene in Jesus of Nazareth where the vicious, sneering joo mohel tears into the blessed foreskin of the Infant Savior, I began to ponder the mystery of His severed penile sheath.

Being the very foreskin of God Incarnate, I wonder at the fate of the divine schmuck.

Did it suffer decay? Was it consumed by dogs or swine, and if so, did it survive the digestive process? Did it dry up and blow away? Was it trodden upon and ground to dust underfoot?

Even if it were subjected to such indignities, the question that really keeps me tossing and turning in the wee hours is this:

Was Christ reunited with His foreskin during the resurrection? Was the foreskin also rejuvenated in that most glorious moment, and fused again to the purple helmet of it's master? I am haunted by these, and so many more questions. I pray for a revelation to this mystery.

[Jim Farmer]

Re: The Mystery of Jesus' Foreskin

I thought joos ate it.

[Witch Hammer]

Re: The Mystery of Jesus' Foreskin

I thought joos ate it.

I never considered that foreskins might be kosher...

[Jim C. Lombardo]

Re: The Mystery of Jesus' Foreskin

It's how they get their protein. It's a little known fact that a rabbi must suck at least 10 infant penises a day.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: The Mystery of Jesus' Foreskin

And that's why my family doesn't trust a joo. Even a joo lawyer because they are not good Christians and may lie to us! We only shop from godly places and people, like our local Walmart, and members of our church.

[BaptistBethany]

Re: The Mystery of Jesus' Foreskin

Witch Hammer, That is a very unique and interesting question you have brought forth. I can see where this would keep you awake into the wee hours. Since I have not attained True Christian status, I dare not try to answer or speculate on such a complex matter. Perhaps others will weigh in with their thoughts.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: The Mystery of Jesus' Foreskin

You know if you people would use the SEARCH feature on this godly forum, you might learn something.

[Jim Farmer]

Re: The Mystery of Jesus' Foreskin

Well, cathlicks are liars. When was the last time you heard a priest tell the truth? Never! We know that Cathlicks have a pre-occupation with little boys' penises, so it would be logical that some of them would invent such a story. I don't believe that the foreskin was ever in Calcata. I think you'll find it in the sewers of some archeological dig in Jerusalem.

The Cathlicks used to have a feast day - the Feast of the Circumcision of Christ on the 8th day after His birth - what we call New Year's Day. But in the late 50s, people were becoming more and more aware of the penchant of Cathlick priests, so in 1960 to avoid too much public scrutiny, head papist John XXIII renamed it Octave of the Nativity. It almost sounds like that Do Re Me song, doesn't it!

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: The Mystery of Jesus' Foreskin

The Catholics are nutty-nut-jobs. They actually thought the Holy Prepuce evolved into the Rings of Saturn!

A few theologians argued that all the Holy Foreskins necessarily had to be frauds since, they asserted, Jesus had taken the actual Holy Prepuce with him to heaven when he ascended.

During the late 17th century, Catholic scholar and theologian Leo Allatius (Allacci Leone ) published the treatise De Praeputio Domini Nostri Jesu Christi Diatriba (“Discussion concerning the Prepuce of our Lord Jesus Christ”) in which he proposed that the Holy Foreskin had ascended into heaven at the same time as Jesus, and had become the recently observed rings of Saturn.

[Morton Weinstein]

Re: The Mystery of Jesus' Foreskin

Jewish Law teaches that the foreskin, like any part of the human body, needs to be treated with respect. After the bris, the mohel places the removed foreskin in a small cup of dirt. Later, the skin is actually buried in the ground, as any body part would be. There is no special blessing said when it is buried. Usually, the mohel will take care of this, unless you request to do it yourself.

There is a tradition that the parents can bury their son's foreskin in their yard and plant a small tree seedling at the site. Then, as their son grows, his tree grows with him.

Since Jesus was obviously NOT a dirty Joo, it is likely that some vile person, whether Roman or Hebe, stole it and did who knows what with it. If anyone wants to see it, there is plenty of art that depicts it in all its tiny glory. This is not to say our LORD was "small", but he was only 8 days old. Only Pastor Ezekiel and Jesus probably had huge ones at that age.

I would imagine there is "art" depicting that of Ezekiel floating around to this day. For medical documentation, of course.

[Des]

Re: The Mystery of Jesus' Foreskin

When I was a little boy, I thought Jesus had divine powers, so like a starfish, his foreskin grew into another Jesus who was immediately snatched up into heaven. Thankfully my daddy beat my backside bloody while explaining to me that this was not in the Bible, therefore it either did not happen that way, or, like many things, was one of those things God doesn't want us to know.

That was an important lesson in life, and I thank my dad for it every day. a Good Christian knows when to keep his mouth shut and not question things.

[Jim Farmer]

Re: The Mystery of Jesus' Foreskin

I think I have discovered the truth about the Holy Foreskin, well, according to the Mary-worshippers:


According to them, Baby Jesus snipped it off Himself and gave it to Catherine of Siena (1347-1380 AD) as a wedding ring.

In about 1368, aged twenty-one, Catherine experienced what she described in her letters as a "Mystical Marriage" with Jesus, later a popular subject in art as the Mystic marriage of Saint Catherine. "Underlining the extent to which the marriage was a fusion with Christ's physicality [...] Catherine received, not the ring of gold and jewels that her biographer reports in his bowdlerized version, but the ring of Christ's foreskin."

Blasphemous!

(It's a bit spooky that painting - Baby Jesus has a crucifix of Himself in the background!)

[Witch Hammer]

Re: The Mystery of Jesus' Foreskin

I think I have discovered the truth about the Holy Foreskin, well, according to the Mary-worshippers:


According to them, Baby Jesus snipped it off Himself and gave it to Catherine of Siena (1347-1380 AD) as a wedding ring.
Blasphemous!

(It's a bit spooky that painting - Baby Jesus has a crucifix of Himself in the background!)

Brother, the "naughty nun phenomenon" is an area of study I have been mired in for years. The perversion of the catlick nuns is unprecedented, and I have photos in various digital formats and resolutions to prove it.

This story from the interwebs is a case in point:

The nun who ate the Holy Foreskin of Jesus (SRSLY)

The Austrian nun Agnes Blannbekin joined the Third Order of Saint Francis in Vienna in 1260 and for the rest of her life refused to eat meat, claiming the body of Christ was enough meat for her. *She wasn’t joking!

She claimed to taste Christ while eating the Eucharist and described drinking a “refreshing spiritual drink” from the spear wound of Jesus. *She would have orgasms whenever Jesus appeared to her (more about that*phenomena*here).

She was obsessed with the Holy Prepuce and claimed to have felt the foreskin of Jesus in her mouth.

Her visions were transcribed by a Franciscan monk and he records: “Crying and with compassion, she began to think about the foreskin of Christ, where it may be located [after the Resurrection].

And behold, soon she felt with the greatest sweetness on her tongue a little piece of skin alike the skin in an egg, which she swallowed.*

After she had swallowed it, she again felt the little skin on her tongue with sweetness as before, and again she swallowed it.

And this happened to her about a hundred times. And when she felt it so frequently, she was tempted to touch it with her finger.*

And when she wanted to do so, that little skin went down her throat on its own. And it was told to her that the foreskin was resurrected with the Lord on the day of resurrection.*

And so great was the sweetness of tasting that little skin that she felt in all [her] limbs and parts of the limbs a sweet transformation.”

Saint Bridget of Sweden also tasted Jesus’s foreskin and claimed that it was as sweet as honey…. but more about her in later posts.

reference

Swilling divine foreskin like gluttons at a Calamari Buffet will only broaden the great rift that already divides nuns from the Glory of Christ.