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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78555
    #1

    Official Church Business

    This thread has been set aside as a place reserved for Pastoral Communication, staff directives, and miscellaneous Church Business.

    Unsaved=Unwelcome



    Which one of you numbskulls in the Church office ordered this godawful Greek statue erected on LBC Property? When I find out who's idea it was to erect a pornographic statue of a false goddess or a demoness on Church Property, heads are going to roll! Was it you Miss Cookie?? You all know damned well that I do NOT want to see ANY statues of females in any case! And why is the cross she bears so small? That could be the whore Mary, who is worshipped by papists! And where are the life-sized statues of ME at this point. I ordered those over a year ago!
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
    Tags: None
    • Pastor Ezekiel
      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
       
      • Sep 2006
      • 78555
      #2
      Re: Official Church Business

      Also, one of my nigra staff in the kitchen showed me this and several similar photos. I don't know how this "Praying in the toilet stall" fad started, but it seems unsanitary. I certainly don't approve of such photos being circulated.


      Miss Cookie will you please instruct that old mammy who is the head attendant in the female Church restroom to provide me with as many photos and videos of this event as possible for the foreseeable future.

      For careful review of the Pastors.
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • Jim Farmer
          True Christian™
          True Christian™
          • Sep 2014
          • 2293
          #3
          Re: Official Church Business

          Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
          This thread has been set aside as a place reserved for Pastoral Communication, staff directives, and miscellaneous Church Business.

          Unsaved=Unwelcome



          Which one of you numbskulls in the Church office ordered this godawful Greek statue erected on LBC Property? When I find out who's idea it was to erect a pornographic statue of a false goddess or a demoness on Church Property, heads are going to roll! Was it you Miss Cookie?? You all know damned well that I do NOT want to see ANY statues of females in any case! And why is the cross she bears so small? That could be the whore Mary, who is worshipped by papists! And where are the life-sized statues of ME at this point. I ordered those over a year ago!
          Are you sure it's a statue of a woman? It looks like a bloke in drag to me. Which is equally abominable.
          sigpic

            Comment

            • Youth Minister Harry
              Matt 19:14 Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.
              True Christian™
              • Feb 2011
              • 832
              #4
              Re: Official Church Business

              Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
              ...And where are the life-sized statues of ME at this point. I ordered those over a year ago!
              Oh, Pastor Zeke, I deeply apologize on behalf of the youth group!!! The Boys' Monumental Erection Team meets every Thursday and have been sculpting, polishing and rubbing one out for you! I've been really cracking the whip on these boys during each session to try to get a leg up. When this finally does come, oh HEAVENS! God's Glory will rain upon us all! PRAISE JESUS! CHRIST JESUS, GLORY!

              Hopefully it will turn out as nice as the last one featuring Jesus and his bath-time friend!
              Attached Files
              Slathered in the Fresh Hot Blood of the Infant Christ,
              -Youth Minister Harry Lester

                Comment

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