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  • Let's Play: "Would a Christian Rather..."

    I'd like us to have a new slogan. Instead of "unsaved unwelcome", let's try "unsaved welcome to be the debate equivalent of a pin cushion, or a punching bag, or a punching bag that also gets used as a pin cushion due to some very complicated mixup."

    Yeah, might need some polishing.

    What could also use some polishing is our own debate skills.

    To practice, we are going to play a game based on "Would You Rather". The players are presented with a bizarre hypothetical choice, between A or B. Player (or team) A gives a reason why the readers should choose option A. Player (or team) B gives a reason why the readers should choose option B.

    I'll start:

    Would a Christian Rather:

    A. Inhale an entire beehive of bees, one bee at a time
    B. Eat your own vomit, while on all fours like a dog

    Because I'm the first one here, I'll choose A. This is because option B means behaving like a fool: Proverbs 26:11

    And as for the bees, don't worry, if they are Godly they can survive in my lungs just like Jonas survived in the Great Fish.
    Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
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  • #2
    Re: Let's Play: "Would a Christian Rather..."

    I'll join you on team A, because stinging insects have already done the work of the LORD:

    Exodus 23:28, Deuteronomy 7:20, Joshua 24:12

    I could rout mighty armies with a single sneeze! With one huff and puff I win the War Of Alaskan Independence!

    Unless the feds have iron chariots, anyway.
    #forevertrump: Supporter of The Donald as president-for-life! #MAGAlomaniac!

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    • #3
      Re: Let's Play: "Would a Christian Rather..."

      I'll choose the vomit one.

      No Biblical reason, I'm just really hungry.

      Oh, though I'd only eat the vomit if I had a good meal beforehand.

      Right now there would just be dry heaving and a bit of mystery fluid.
      Founder and CEO of Trickle-Down Charities™, LLC.

      Current Project: Bedmates For Billionaires: Biblical eldercare straight from King David
      Goal:
      $500,000 Currently raised: $0.11 DONATE NOW! Yes, we accept Biblecoins!

      True Christians™ believe they they exist to serve the Bible-revealed will of God.
      False Christians believe the Bible exists to serve their will. GOD IS NOT YOUR YES-MAN!

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      • #4
        Re: Let's Play: "Would a Christian Rather..."

        Much like to author of Psalm 118 I am not afraid of bees:


        They compassed me about like bees: they are quenched as the fire of thorns: for in the name of the Lord I will destroy them.
        READ THE BIBLE

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        • #5
          Re: Let's Play: "Would a Christian Rather..."

          Is it vegan vomit?
          Trigger Warning: the text you have just read may have caused: flashbacks to historical oppression, normalization of whiteness, hegemonic hyper-masculinity (if I must say so myself), assumption of genders, species, and/or status as a living being, other problematic sins which are yet to be discovered and outlawed but I should still be (eventually) punished for.

          MOD NOTE: click here for a Wokish-To-English Dictionary.

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          • #6
            Re: Let's Play: "Would a Christian Rather..."

            I declare "Option Bee" (not to be confused with option b) the winner.

            Next round:

            Would a Christian Rather:


            A. Have the direction of your digestive system reversed, as in, your food goes in your back parts and your dung comes out your mouth
            OR
            .
            B. have sweat consisting of poison ivy goo, skunk spray, and spraytan (not Brother Trumps glorious spraytan, I mean that lame pandering stuff that Mitt Romney used).

            Originally posted by Social Construct View Post
            Is it vegan vomit?
            It was veal, eaten by it's own mother, while listening to My Chemical Romance during a lithium overdose.
            Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
            Got Questions? See Frequently Asked Questions, or use Forum Search, tag system, or our guides on Geography, History, Science, Comparative Religion, Civics, and Current Events.
            Did I use a new word you've never heard? Definitions here. | Vote! Everything you need to vote here!

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            • #7
              Re: Let's Play: "Would a Christian Rather..."

              Malachi 2:3 - this passage presents face manure, regardless of how the feast was consumed, as Divinely authored corruption.

              II Peter 1:4 - explains how Christians have escaped corruption.
              Poison ivy sounds poisonous to me and I don't know what happens if skunk juice is consumed. I do know Mrs Harbord would not approve. God however has covered this, including cheap Asian-manufactured spray tan which probably contains arsenic, so I'm going with option b.
              Acts 28:3, 5 - Drinking skunk or ivy juice is a voluntary thing. Your question requires involuntary toxins so I'll offer Paul's Deadly Viper as an example.

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              • #8
                Re: Let's Play: "Would a Christian Rather..."

                Option B doesn't say anything about drinking, the concoction in question oozes through your pores when you sweat.

                Originally posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
                Poison ivy sounds poisonous to me and I don't know what happens if skunk juice is consumed.
                Poison Ivy makes your skin itch, like what a person with opiate dependence experiences.

                Skunk spray makes you smell in a way that is contrary to western hegemonic beauty standards, and spraytan allows white people to appropriate brown beauty without getting skin cancer.

                So in short, with option B I could be educated in the lived experience of an opiate-depended brown person with extreme irritable bowel syndrome.

                With option A I would become a fanatical toothbrusher, never suffering tooth decay, which would give me flawlessly shining white teeth, like what Black people have, which means I would be guilty of the sin of (partial) blackface.

                For that reason I choose Option B, and if anyone plugs their nose in my presence, I hereby call you out/rebuke you for a microaggression that perpetuates hegemonic western beauty standards.
                Trigger Warning: the text you have just read may have caused: flashbacks to historical oppression, normalization of whiteness, hegemonic hyper-masculinity (if I must say so myself), assumption of genders, species, and/or status as a living being, other problematic sins which are yet to be discovered and outlawed but I should still be (eventually) punished for.

                MOD NOTE: click here for a Wokish-To-English Dictionary.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Let's Play: "Would a Christian Rather..."

                  Originally posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond View Post
                  I declare "Option Bee" (not to be confused with option b) the winner.

                  Next round:

                  Would a Christian Rather:


                  A. Have the direction of your digestive system reversed, as in, your food goes in your back parts and your dung comes out your mouth
                  OR
                  .
                  B. have sweat consisting of poison ivy goo, skunk spray, and spraytan (not Brother Trumps glorious spraytan, I mean that lame pandering stuff that Mitt Romney used).
                  That one's really a no-brainer. I once worked at a Waffle House where we had more than our fair share of True Christian™ diners, and the smell and skin gunk were already present upon them. I had my own stock of vapor rub in the back that I prepared my nostrils with whenever I saw those red caps approaching.

                  The only part that I can't speak to is the poison ivy bit, as I took great care to never make physical contact with these people. Still, a bit of itchiness in addition to the already-present greasiness and uh... "aroma" should be no big ordeal to you godly folk. It's definitely preferable to having dung come out the wrong end, I'm sure!
                  Proverbs 26:11   As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.

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                  • #10
                    Re: Let's Play: "Would a Christian Rather..."

                    Originally posted by Social Construct View Post
                    Option B doesn't say anything about drinking, the concoction in question oozes through your pores when you sweat.
                    Yes, it's possible for involuntary exposure and upon reflection, it's not impossible to be voluntarily bitten by snakes. But whether exuding from the pores of the skin or eaten in a spiked cake, such poisons or toxins or irritants have no effect on Christians, just as God promised.
                    Last edited by MitzaLizalor; 12-11-2022, 09:42 PM.

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                    • #11
                      Re: Let's Play: "Would a Christian Rather..."

                      Originally posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond View Post
                      I declare "Option Bee" (not to be confused with option b) the winner.

                      Next round:

                      Would a Christian Rather:


                      A. Have the direction of your digestive system reversed, as in, your food goes in your back parts and your dung comes out your mouth
                      OR
                      .
                      B. have sweat consisting of poison ivy goo, skunk spray, and spraytan (not Brother Trumps glorious spraytan, I mean that lame pandering stuff that Mitt Romney used).
                      Gruess Gott


                      If I were to swallow chocolate with my Behind, my [back parts] would have it easy to attract a little Boy !!
                      So I opt for Option A !!!


                      HA, HA!
                      Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 07-06-2022, 07:14 PM. Reason: profanity
                      Ex 20:4-5 Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; <--- That includes Mary

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