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  • SUV
    True Christian™ Princess
    The Driving Force behind RA12
    Have at it, anytime!
    • Sep 2006
    • 11027
    #16
    Re: Christian Housekeeping Tips???

    "Mince" for the pies, because it is sometimes referred to as "minceMEAT"

    Of course the Word "mince" itself brings up an unsavory connotation, especially with those two little boys already being halfway on the Homer!hood Express.....

    Oh, it's just so darn hard being Christian! Maybe the best thing to do is wait until Husband returns Home and in the meantime just feed the kids Twinkies.

    No, wait....

      Comment

      • Pastor Ezekiel
        Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
         
        • Sep 2006
        • 78556
        #17
        Re: Christian Housekeeping Tips???

        Originally posted by SUV View Post
        "Mince" for the pies, because it is sometimes referred to as "minceMEAT"

        Of course the Word "mince" itself brings up an unsavory connotation, especially with those two little boys already being halfway on the Homer!hood Express.....

        Oh, it's just so darn hard being Christian! Maybe the best thing to do is wait until Husband returns Home and in the meantime just feed the kids Twinkies.

        No, wait....
        As long as she gives them Manly MEAT Twinkies!

        Who Will Jesus Damn?

        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment

          • Brother Temperance
            Senior Usher
            True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
            A very nice young man
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2006
            • 15621
            #18
            Re: Christian Housekeeping Tips???

            Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
            As long as she gives them Manly MEAT Twinkies!

            If Dan White had spent his days chomping on Beef Twinkies, I doubt there'd be a single homer left in San Francisco today. Deep-fried beef twinkies are the best, of course.
            O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



            God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

              Comment

              • SUV
                True Christian™ Princess
                The Driving Force behind RA12
                Have at it, anytime!
                • Sep 2006
                • 11027
                #19
                Re: Christian Housekeeping Tips???

                Good God™ I'm Certain™ that Wal*Mart must be stocking these delightful treats Right now!

                  Comment

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