[Johannes Kirkeholm]

Re: Ask an Authentic Wiccan

... you could say that, yes.



What is this? A Christian engaging in the forbidden art of numerology? You may want to read this and repent before any TermiWix goons award you with an all expense paid one-way ticket to Freehold.

Also, please correct me if I'm wrong, but did you just refer to Christian babies as irrational? I only ask because that is the accepted stereotype, yes? That witches eat Christian babies? It seems that you may very well still be an atheist friend, at least from the derogatory way you are referring to Christian babies. I don't care if you are, but your fellows may be mad to see you impersonating a Christian, friend.

Blessed be, my numerological friend

Kassandra, Witch of Endor

Grr. You have changed 'imaginary' to 'irrational' in my post. God won't like this:

Proverbs 6:16-19
These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren

And no, I don't believe in numerological nonsense. I don't even believe in math, but I bet that you do and that's why you wrote between 0 and 0 instead of flat out denying eating babies. And you still haven't denied that you eat imaginary babies!

[Witch of Endor]

Re: Ask an Authentic Wiccan

Grr. You have changed 'imaginary' to 'irrational' in my post. God won't like this:

And no, I don't believe in numerological nonsense. I don't even believe in math, but I bet that you do and that's why you wrote between 0 and 0 instead of flat out denying eating babies. And you still haven't denied that you eat imaginary babies!

I changed nothing friend. Perhaps your God changed your post to make my argument look ridiculous. Or you edited it after I posted that. Take your pick.

For a non-believer in math, you are awfully good at it! Are there other things you don't believe in but are good at? Perhaps..... numerology?

Now, please friend, this thread is for Christians to ask an Authentic Wiccan (the term has been copylefted) questions. Could you please phrase your hysterical accusations in the form of one?

Blessed be, non-numerological friend (don't worry, I won't tell anyone otherwise!)

Kassandra, Witch of Endor

[Johannes Kirkeholm]

Re: Ask an Authentic Wiccan

I changed nothing friend. Perhaps your God changed your post to make my argument look ridiculous. Or you edited it after I posted that. Take your pick.

For a non-believer in math, you are awfully good at it! Are there other things you don't believe in but are good at? Perhaps..... numerology?

Now, please friend, this thread is for Christians to ask an Authentic Wiccan (the term has been copylefted) questions. Could you please phrase your hysterical accusations in the form of one?

Blessed be, non-numerological friend (don't worry, I won't tell anyone otherwise!)

Kassandra, Witch of Endor

Or perhaps your witch powers failed to misquote me. And yes I still know math, I can't change my past. All I can do is to repent it and I do that every hour of every day. Math fails because God is ultimately greater than logic. Mathematicians believe that this is always true:

2+1=3

But God is omnipotent so he can make the following true:

2+1=100

And there you have it! The foundations of math crumble and therefore it can't be real. But enough of this, you keep avoiding answering my very simple question:

Do you eat imaginary babies/Imagine eating babies?

[Witch of Endor]

Re: Ask an Authentic Wiccan

Do you eat imaginary babies/Imagine eating babies?

I do not eat imaginary babies. Other things I do not do include eating real babies, imagining eating real babies, and imagining eating imaginary babies. This in no way implies that I eat humans that are not babies, or that I imagine eating humans that or not babies, or any permutation of the terms eating, humans, real, and imaginary. Let me also add that I do not sacrifice babies, involve babies in Satanic rituals, or even have anything to do with them really. There, I think I've managed to word that in a way where people can't twist it and imply anything untrue.

I hope that satisfies your question. And on a side note friend, you seem to be awfully obsessed with eating imaginary babies. Might I suggest you talk to one of your Pastors about this?

Blessed be, my persistent friend

Kassandra, Witch of Endor

[Johannes Kirkeholm]

Re: Ask an Authentic Wiccan

I do not eat imaginary babies. Other things I do not do include eating real babies, imagining eating real babies, and imagining eating imaginary babies. This in no way implies that I eat humans that are not babies, or that I imagine eating humans that or not babies, or any permutation of the terms eating, humans, real, and imaginary. Let me also add that I do not sacrifice babies, involve babies in Satanic rituals, or even have anything to do with them really. There, I think I've managed to word that in a way where people can't twist it and imply anything untrue.

I hope that satisfies your question. And on a side note friend, you seem to be awfully obsessed with eating imaginary babies. Might I suggest you talk to one of your Pastors about this?

Blessed be, my persistent friend

Kassandra, Witch of Endor

I just figured it out. What you do is that you put babies and people in a big blender and then you drink the juice.

May God curse you,
Johannes Kirkeholm

[Witch of Endor]

Re: Ask an Authentic Wiccan

I just figured it out. What you do is that you put babies and people in a big blender and then you drink the juice.

May God curse you,
Johannes Kirkeholm

There are no words I can use to adequately respond to this. Instead, I will have to use this emoticon:



Blessed be, my baby-cannibalism obsessed friend

Kassandra, Witch of Endor

[Johannes Kirkeholm]

Re: Ask an Authentic Wiccan

There are no words I can use to adequately respond to this. Instead, I will have to use this emoticon:



Blessed be, my baby-cannibalism obsessed friend

Kassandra, Witch of Endor

I take your failure to deny my accusation as a sign that I just busted you!

I take so much pleasure in the fact that you will burn in Hell that I have to use these emoticons:



May God cast you into the Lake of Fire sooner rather than later,
Johannes Kirkeholm.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Ask an Authentic Wiccan

What is your favorite recipe for baby? Or do you just eat them raw, like atheists?

[Witch of Endor]

Re: Ask an Authentic Wiccan

What is your favorite recipe for baby? Or do you just eat them raw, like atheists?

According to Mr. Kirkeholm, smoothie-style*

My you Christians do seem to go on and on about eating babies. On a completely unrelated note, I was wondering if anybody could tell me what the population growth for Freehold is. Somehow I have the feeling its negative.

Blessed be, my friends who refuse to stop flogging a dead horse

Kassandra, Witch of Endor

* The above statement is sarcastic. I do not, have not, nor will I ever engage in the consumption of human flesh, living or dead, babies or otherwise.

[Johannes Kirkeholm]

Re: Ask an Authentic Wiccan

According to Mr. Kirkeholm, smoothie-style*

My you Christians do seem to go on and on about eating babies. On a completely unrelated note, I was wondering if anybody could tell me what the population growth for Freehold is. Somehow I have the feeling its negative.

Blessed be, my friends who refuse to stop flogging a dead horse

Kassandra, Witch of Endor

* The above statement is sarcastic. I do not, have not, nor will I ever engage in the consumption of human flesh, living or dead, babies or otherwise.

Oh... So when you say that 'you' don't eat human flesh it is because you shapeshift into a horrible monster first? Or is it that you only consume human blood?

I have another question though: Do wiccans eat pork? And is there a specific holy poison that only works on witches? My family has a pig farm, you see, and I don't want some witch eating the pork my family has produced whenever she doesn't succeed in finding a human being to eat (or in your specific case, drink).

May you feel the Wrath of God,
Johannes Kirkeholm

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Ask an Authentic Wiccan

1. Why do you pretend to have magic powers? Do you think that anyone believes you, aside from other wand waving buffoons? Why don't you take up the art of prayer instead? Prayer actually works.

2. Why don't you sacrifice people and animals like real pagans?

[Witch of Endor]

Re: Ask an Authentic Wiccan

Oh... So when you say that 'you' don't eat human flesh it is because you shapeshift into a horrible monster first? Or is it that you only consume human blood?

I don't eat people or drink people's blood. I also don't drink people or eat people's blood.

I have another question though: Do wiccans eat pork? And is there a specific holy poison that only works on witches? My family has a pig farm, you see, and I don't want some witch eating the pork my family has produced whenever she doesn't succeed in finding a human being to eat (or in your specific case, drink).

May you feel the Wrath of God,
Johannes Kirkeholm

Finally! Some questions that aren't about eating people!

Some Wiccans eat pork, but I personally do not. As for poisons working on witches, most simply won't. Since I now live on a diet of nightshade, cough syrup, and psychedelic toads I find that I can ingest most anything without feeling any ill effects.

1. Why do you pretend to have magic powers? Do you think that anyone believes you, aside from other wand waving buffoons? Why don't you take up the art of prayer instead? Prayer actually works.

Billy Bob, my friend, I see you are still interested in learning about magyck!

Unfortunately, I won't be able to teach you anything, as I don't wish to offend any of the Christians here. And please stop sending me PMs about it, you know us unsaved trash can't answer them.

2. Why don't you sacrifice people and animals like real pagans

Because I have love for everything, be it man, womyn, animal, plant, or inorganic material. Frankly, I can think of so many things I would rather do with any of those rather than sacrifice them.

Blessed be, my magycka-interested friends

Kassandra, Witch of Endor

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Ask an Authentic Wiccan

Dear Kassandra, Witch on a Bender -

Pagans always sacrificed animals and humans to their demon gods to make them happy. Nowadays you do not. So, don't you fear angering them?

[Witch of Endor]

Re: Ask an Authentic Wiccan

Dear Kassandra, Witch on a Bender -

Pagans always sacrificed animals and humans to their demon gods to make them happy. Nowadays you do not. So, don't you fear angering them?

Now this, Reverend, is an excellent question! Just as you Christians have rejected the rituals of the Catholic Church, we Pagans have rejected the need to sacrifice to our gods. There are many things Pagans DO do to please their gods, and one such thing is called Circling. Circling is a beautiful ceremony conducted in perfect love and perfect trust with like-minded Pagans which is only ruined when somebody decides to spoil the ceremony for their own gain; a "Circle jerk" if you will. In fact, these "Circle jerks" are one of the few things that displease our gods (apart from eating people). I hope this has helped you understand more about Paganism and how we no longer need blood sacrifice.

Blessed be, my curious Reverend friend

Kassandra, Witch of Endor

[Johannes Kirkeholm]

Re: Ask an Authentic Wiccan

I have some more questions:

Do you know your leader, Harry Potter, personally?

Why do you wanna go to Hell? Why do you hate Baby Jesus?

What is your favorite hobby?