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What if Jesus drop-kicks you - but it's not through the goal-post of Life? 
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Re: What if.....?
You mean when Jesus drop kicks people into Hell?Originally posted by SUV View PostWhat if Jesus drop-kicks you - but it's not through the goal-post of Life?The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Re: What if.....?
I think Sister SUV wanted to start a new game. She just forgot to tell us the rules! I'm going to take a stab at it:
What if a parishioner tithes ONE MILLION DOLLARS . . . but they're Zimbabwean dollars?Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Re: What if.....?
I've often wondered what would happen if God and Superman got into a fight.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
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Re: What if.....?
What if is was Jesus and Muhammad?Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View PostI've often wondered what would happen if God and Superman got into a fight.
I know Jesus' regeneration, raise dead and resurrection power would eventually pwn Muhammad and his flying horse.Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
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I reckon Jesus would win by at least a half nelson and a damnation.Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View PostI've often wondered what would happen if God and Superman got into a fight.Lamentations 3:1I Am the man that hath seene affliction by the rod of his WRATH. Yours in Christ, McUinnean, of that Ilk.
THE AMERICAN LANGUAGE: THE AMERICAN LANGUAGE: A description to end myths it is English. - The Landover Baptist Church Forums
THE POINTLESSNESS OF ATHEISM: Att. ATHEISTS: What is the Purpose of your SAD,Sorry lives? - The Landover Baptist Church Forums
MINOR 'DISABILITIES': Is DYSLEXIA a curse from God or is it CURABLE? - The Landover Baptist Church ForumsComment
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Re: What if.....?
What if Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck teamed up to fight Obama, but Obama was giant, and could fly?O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
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God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.Comment
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Re: What if.....?
Isn't that a chapter in the Book of Mormon?Originally posted by Brother Temperance View PostLamentations 3:1I Am the man that hath seene affliction by the rod of his WRATH. Yours in Christ, McUinnean, of that Ilk.
THE AMERICAN LANGUAGE: THE AMERICAN LANGUAGE: A description to end myths it is English. - The Landover Baptist Church Forums
THE POINTLESSNESS OF ATHEISM: Att. ATHEISTS: What is the Purpose of your SAD,Sorry lives? - The Landover Baptist Church Forums
MINOR 'DISABILITIES': Is DYSLEXIA a curse from God or is it CURABLE? - The Landover Baptist Church ForumsComment
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Re: What if.....?
And what if Spartacus had a Piper Cub?
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Re: What if.....?
Hope for a defensive penalty, like offsides, or roughing the snapper. (Nobody could rough Jesus if we were the kicker) and try again!Originally posted by SUV View PostWhat if Jesus drop-kicks you - but it's not through the goal-post of Life?
What if I fell into a burning ring of fire, but it was actually a square?He is the tower of salvation for his king: and sheweth mercy to his anointed, unto David, and to his seed for evermore. 2 Samuel 22:51
God, Guns and BBQ make AMERICA great!
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Re: What if.....?
Excellent Advice, BrotherOriginally posted by LordHaveMercy View Post
Now.....as long as it isn't a devil-o-gram
I guess it might be okay
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