Advice Needed on How to Handle COC

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Blessed Evening Brothers and Sisters,

The Church of Christ down yonder has challenged me to a Pray Off next weekend and I, of course, accepted.

A few questions though.

Who wants to help me beat COC? (I'll be serving my famous pie)

What prayers are proven winners.

Should we separate in to two different prayer circles? One for the men and one for the women.

Do we need any special assistance, such as towels (if we break a sweat.) Lotion (in case we rub our hands raw in vigorous prayer.)

Please lend me a hand in handling COC. I know they can sometimes be hard to deal with.

Grateful,

Sister Thumper

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Advice Needed on How to Handle COC

Sister, I'm happy to say I am presently in town, and will be in town next weekend, and I would be delighted to help you give COC the flogging of a lifetime!

My own congregation has mercilessly abused the local COC in similar situations for years.

Would you like me to stop by and talk strategy? You can test out your COC-whipping techniques on me personally, if you wish.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Advice Needed on How to Handle COC

Oh that would be delightful. Please come over Tuesday around 2:00-ish. I'll serve finger sandwiches and pie.

I can't wait to give those homers over at COC a beating of a life time.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Advice Needed on How to Handle COC

I've heard Church of Christ brings lollipops to keep their little ones occupied during prayer sessions. Well, those COC suckers aren't going to get the best of us. We're going to give COC a good licking.

[LordHaveMercy]

Re: Advice Needed on How to Handle COC

I am too far away to help out myself, as it would be a long drive to Iowa from Maine. However, I will be praying for you to beat that COC like there's no tomorrow! (Which there might not be PRAISE THE LORD!)

I can see you there now, in the COC ring, with your pie nearby, it's delicate scent wafting over the area like a big COC tease. In the LORD's name!

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: Advice Needed on How to Handle COC

I'm sure we all know our beloved sister Thumper is more than able to handle COC better than anyone.

Trust the Lord sister and give that COC all you've got. Bawl if you have to. Male members the lot. You'll hear the groans from the COC soon enough when you get your hands to work.

God Bless and Good luck.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Advice Needed on How to Handle COC

I am something of a COC connoiseur. I happen to know that Iowa COC is going to be harder than any COC you've ever faced. I tried to beat some Iowa COC once and it was a disaster. They spewed seminal prayers all over the place, some of which I'm sure made it into the Lord's ear.

[Wide-Open]

Re: Advice Needed on How to Handle COC

I'd love to help you Sister BTB, but I don't have much experience with COC. In fact, in my Outreach Post, most people haven't even heard of COC. I mention them from time to time, but that only seems to turn the local crowds into a violent frenzy.

If I were you, I'd take your bullhorn with you, in case the people of the COC get a bit too cocky. Bullhorns beat COC every time, it's a no-brainer really.

Just make sure you concentrate on the straight and narrow, and everything will be OK.

[handmaiden]

Re: Advice Needed on How to Handle COC

The nerve of these people, calling themselves the Church of Christ. Like they own Him or something. Or like they and they alone are His body on earth.

Take the foolishly named COC to task, Sister. We don't call you Thumper for nothing.

You'll pray their puny congregation down to nothing. For you are a magnificent True Woman . When you finish them off, they will be sobbing and trembling.


I wish that I could be there to lend some small assistance, but I am confident that you will come out on top.



Interestedly Yours,

Handmaiden

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Advice Needed on How to Handle COC

Thank you for all your advice and prayers Brothers and Sisters.

With you helping hands I creamed COC!

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: Advice Needed on How to Handle COC

Well done sister. I've never had to take on COC myself. I'm sure I'd beable to say something at least before skinning off to do other more worthy things. I'm sure the best COC handler around. Keep it up!

YIC, Mc