Ask a Sand Negress

[Scheherazade]

It only seemed appropriate that I follow the trend and create a source of information so that others may learn more about us sand dwellers.

Ask away, and I will answer all questions within my capability.

[Scheherazade]

Re: Ask a Sand Negress

No interest? It's the same as my search for a husband, er, employer/master, rather.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Ask a Sand Negress

Ok, I'll try...Not that I've ever really been curious about what you people get up to....

What do you eat over there? Goats or something?

[Scheherazade]

Re: Ask a Sand Negress

We have a wide palate of food, and yes, goat is on the menu at times.

We usually have a snack made of falafel, which is a bunch of beans in a ball of bread.

I warn you, searching it may result in filthy pictures of small spherical objects being inserted into the mouths of women while they manage to squeal "Wii!" amidst the chewing.

Luckily, I avoided such deplorable activities, but I will admit to ingesting falafel.

For dessert, we tend to have baklava, which is essentially sweet bread when it comes down to it.

If we can't find or afford food, which is somewhat often, we forage around in the dunes until we find a family of scorpions to cook.

[Eugene Hackwith]

Re: Ask a Sand Negress

Have you ever experienced the deliciousness that is pork? Do you think you will eat pork once you find a good Christian man who will make an honest woman out of you?

[Scheherazade]

Re: Ask a Sand Negress

I have not yet tasted pork, but I have been tempted to attempt doing so.

Of course, it is difficult to find pork dealers, as you must locate them late at night, in secluded locations.

On top of that, if you smell even faintly of pork, you can expect numerous lashes. If you reek of it, you can expect a beheading.

However, once an upstanding Christian man takes me as his bride or servant girl, I plan to follow his prescribed diet, which I am sure will include pork.

I look forward to the occasion.

[Juliette]

Re: Ask a Sand Negress

Why do you hate yourself so much, Sister?

Everyone can be saved.

No need for self hatred.

Jesus asked you here for a reason, didn't he?

[Scheherazade]

Re: Ask a Sand Negress

Why do you hate yourself so much, Sister?

Everyone can be saved.

No need for self hatred.

Jesus asked you here for a reason, didn't he?

Yes, he must have.

Forgive me, I am likely delusional and experiencing false feelings of self-hatred due to such sentiments that have been imposed upon me by my oppressive father.

[Eugene Hackwith]

Re: Ask a Sand Negress

How do Muslims feel about hunting animals for sport? How do you feel about hunting animals for sport?

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Ask a Sand Negress

JESUS forgive me for being so crude. But is it true you folks use no toilet paper and use your left hand to wipe?

That is beyond disgusting to me. I don't want to say out loud on GOD'S Favorite Forum what I suspect you do.

Do your hands smell like dirty butthole?

If so, I don't think you will ever find an American Husband.

Ewwwwwwwwwwww!

[Enigmatic Harpo Marx]

Re: Ask a Sand Negress

So, how's the Hashish production in Iran?

[JennyD]

Re: Ask a Sand Negress

Miss S, do many of your friends and relatives have jewelry you can borrow?

I must also wonder, if they do have jewelry you can borrow, what exactly would be the point of jewelry nobody can see, if you walk about dressed like a mummified Cher all the time. Isn't that uncomfortable and confining?

[Brother McGregor]

Re: Ask a Sand Negress

speaking of beheading...what do you do with all the heads? Do you stick them on spikes like they used to in the Tower of London?

[Roberta]

Re: Ask a Sand Negress

We have a wide palate of food, and yes, goat is on the menu at times.

We usually have a snack made of falafel, which is a bunch of beans in a ball of bread.

I warn you, searching it may result in filthy pictures of small spherical objects being inserted into the mouths of women while they manage to squeal "Wii!" amidst the chewing.

Luckily, I avoided such deplorable activities, but I will admit to ingesting falafel.

For dessert, we tend to have baklava, which is essentially sweet bread when it comes down to it.

If we can't find or afford food, which is somewhat often, we forage around in the dunes until we find a family of scorpions to cook.

Doesn't falafel cause you to be abundantly flatuent? In our country women never pass gas, Scheherry!

[Rev. Carlton Green]

Re: Ask a Sand Negress

Why do your men end up with horrid, greasy beards that reek like a dead fish, rather the the thick, luscious work of art on the chinny chin chin of a True Christian™ man?