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  • Billy Bob Jenkins
    Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
    About as Straight and Manly as you can get
    Hates anal sex. And trees.
    True Christian™
    • May 2010
    • 8337

    #106
    Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins

    Originally posted by Proud Faroese View Post
    Any new songs? I would like to hear one about slavery and negroes
    Originally posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
    Good idea, Proud. It is about time for a new song, and that sounds like an excellent, Biblically sound subject. I will work on it this afternoon.
    Okay. Here is a song about the Biblical position on slavery.

    Slavery is a Christian Institution by Billy Bob Jenkins, © 2011

    You can only own a Jew for six years
    but a heathen you can keep for good
    you better circumcise 'em or God He will despise 'em
    beat them well but not more than you should

    owning slaves is alright with the Lord
    but not if you knock out their eyes and teeth.
    if you beat them 'till they die, make sure it takes a while
    be merciful to those who are beneath

    If you rape an engaged female slave
    then you must also slay a ram
    the Lord He is forgiving, and wants you to make a living
    so if your slaves rebel they will be damned

    A thief who steals a slave must surely die
    for stealing slaves makes Baby Jesus cry
    they are twice beholden, both to God and those who own them
    slavery's fine and God's the reason why

    The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

    Comment

    • Faith_Machine
      Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
      True Christian™
      • Mar 2011
      • 10049

      #107
      Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins

      Do we have a little emoticon that can express the fact that somebody's heart has been so touched by a song's compassion that they're weeping?

      'Cause that's the smiley I'd post right now if I could!

      WARNING:
      In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
      REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

      Comment

      • Dan U. Holier
        True Christian™
        True Christian™
        • Jul 2011
        • 1180

        #108
        Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins

        Originally posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
        ...owning slaves is alright with the Lord
        but not if you knock out their eyes and teeth.
        if you beat them 'till they die, make sure it takes a while
        be merciful to those who are beneath

        If you rape an engaged female slave
        then you must also slay a ram
        the Lord He is forgiving, and wants you to make a living
        so if your slaves rebel they will be damned
        Oh, ye good ole times... your song brought tears of joy to my eyes.

        I especially appreciate how pointed out the merciful treatment of slaves as commanded by God; I hope your artistic efforts that shall finally shut up LIEberals slandering our religious doctrine of being ruthless.

        Keep on spreading the Truth™ brother!
        Ask not what your Lord can do for you. Ask what you can do for your Lord.


        ... your choice entirely (Matthew 12:30)

        Comment

        • Jack O'fagan
          With faith as immovable as the Earth
          True Christian™
          • Feb 2011
          • 4836

          #109
          Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins

          Yet another wonderful song Brother.
          I do get annoyed when atheists say that you can't get any morals from the Bible. Jesus clearly states that when you are beating your slaves beat the one who knew he was doing wrong harder than the one who did not know,

          Luke 12:47 And that servant, which knew his lord's will, and prepared not himself, neither did according to his will, shall be beaten with many stripes. 48But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes.

          Jesus was being fair to the innocent by recommending they have a less severe beating. Praise Him!

          Jesus also knew scripture well so knew that it was a sin to beat a slave to death in one single violent attack so He was probably erring on the side of caution. You wouldn't want to accidentally commit a sin during the beating.

          Exodus 21:20 And if a man smite his servant, or his maid, with a rod, and he die under his hand; he shall be surely punished.
          21Notwithstanding, if he continue a day or two, he shall not be punished: for he is his money.

          I LOVE Jesus,

          YIC

          Jack
          Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.

          sigpic

          I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.

          Comment

          • Billy Bob Jenkins
            Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
            About as Straight and Manly as you can get
            Hates anal sex. And trees.
            True Christian™
            • May 2010
            • 8337

            #110
            Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins



            Don't Let Queers Take Vows by Billy Bob Jenkins © 2011

            Genesis 2:24
            says a man and a woman's fair game
            the book of Deuteronomy
            says a victim must take her rapist's name

            Chorus:
            Stick with traditional marriage
            the Bible tells us how
            His will we won't disparage
            Don't let the queers take vows

            Solomon had 300 concubines
            not to mention his 700 wives
            a soldier can take his POWs
            after taking their families' lives

            Repeat Chorus

            Slaves can be forced by their owners
            to marry and bring forth new slaves
            their children are stoned with stones
            if they should misbehave

            Repeat Chorus

            A woman without any kids
            must marry her brother in law
            but the first marriage was not even voluntary
            so what difference does that make?

            repeat chorus
            The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

            Comment

            • Faith_Machine
              Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
              True Christian™
              • Mar 2011
              • 10049

              #111
              Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins

              Another Godly masterpiece!

              When, I ask, WHEN is your album coming out?
              WARNING:
              In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
              REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

              Comment

              • Billy Bob Jenkins
                Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
                About as Straight and Manly as you can get
                Hates anal sex. And trees.
                True Christian™
                • May 2010
                • 8337

                #112
                Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins

                Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
                Another Godly masterpiece!

                When, I ask, WHEN is your album coming out?
                I figure since the rapture and Armageddon could happen any second now, there's no sense in recording anything. You will have all eternity to listen to me perform these Godly songs in the Promised Land.
                The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

                Comment

                • Faith_Machine
                  Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                  True Christian™
                  • Mar 2011
                  • 10049

                  #113
                  Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins

                  I think the screams of the damned filtering up to us from Hell would provide an excellent backdrop for your tunes.

                  Maybe you should write a few with that in mind?
                  WARNING:
                  In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                  REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                  Comment

                  • Billy Bob Jenkins
                    Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
                    About as Straight and Manly as you can get
                    Hates anal sex. And trees.
                    True Christian™
                    • May 2010
                    • 8337

                    #114
                    Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins

                    Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
                    I think the screams of the damned filtering up to us from Hell would provide an excellent backdrop for your tunes.

                    Maybe you should write a few with that in mind?
                    I am always imagining the screams of the damned, brother, no matter what I am doing. It keeps my spirits high when I am working, and it helps me finish faster when I am inseminating my wife.
                    The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

                    Comment

                    • Faith_Machine
                      Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                      True Christian™
                      • Mar 2011
                      • 10049

                      #115
                      Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins

                      Originally posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
                      ...and it helps me finish faster when I am inseminating my wife.
                      Say, you just gave me a heck of an idea: Maybe you should compose a song specifically for Christian couples to listen to while in the act of procreation?
                      WARNING:
                      In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                      REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                      Comment

                      • Roper Crossburn
                        The Voice of Freehold
                        True Christian™
                        • Mar 2008
                        • 94

                        #116
                        Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins

                        You've got a real talent, kid. Lord knows I wasn't playing like that when I started.

                        With all the jungle boogie monkey rap and Nirvana junk that's on the radio now it's refreshing to hear a kid just play his heart out for Christ. Keep it up. If you want any pointers, you know who to talk to.

                        Hell, I've got all this recording space I ain't using, might as well come by and lay down some tracks, get them out on the air. Been a long time since I sang a duet with another gent.

                        sigpic

                        Comment

                        • Father Maurice Lester
                          Ring-kissing Papist dog
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 3366

                          #117
                          Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins

                          We are not talking the Singing Nun here but full marks for trying and for learning how to use a webcam if not a guitar tuner.

                          I must admit a certain admiration for any "artist" who eschews the use of autotune and other modern abominations designed to hide the flaws of poorly practiced and talent-challenged "musicians" like yourself. A bit similar to Oprah testing trampolines in a string bikini but such is the measure of the skills our Lord has gifted you and kudos for doing something with so little. (Did you know Jerry Lewis as a child?)

                          A little tip for you and your lack of subtle lyrical touch: It is called worship music and not warship music... you might want to think about that.





                          Bless you, my Wing of Wyoming,
                          Father Mo



                          .
                          A Cardinal in the making.

                          Comment

                          • Isaac Fisher
                            Forum Member
                            Forum Member
                            • Aug 2011
                            • 270

                            #118
                            Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins

                            Originally posted by Father Maurice Lester View Post


                            Some stupid blabble about touching boys


                            .

                            I think your awards are messed up. It says you are hetrosexual and Catlick - I thought little boys still counted as males?

                            Comment

                            • Billy Bob Jenkins
                              Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
                              About as Straight and Manly as you can get
                              Hates anal sex. And trees.
                              True Christian™
                              • May 2010
                              • 8337

                              #119
                              Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins

                              Originally posted by Isaac Fisher View Post
                              I think your awards are messed up. It says you are hetrosexual and Catlick - I thought little boys still counted as males?
                              The fact that Lester the Lecher thinks he is a heterosexual just goes to show how sexually confused the dress wearing Mary worshipers really are.
                              The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

                              Comment

                              • Faith_Machine
                                Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                                True Christian™
                                • Mar 2011
                                • 10049

                                #120
                                Re: Original Music by Billy Bob Jenkins

                                Originally posted by Father Maurice Lester View Post
                                ...Oprah testing trampolines in a string bikini...
                                Lester, I have a favor to ask of you. I am very pleased to be able to say that I have resisted the sometimes overwhelming urge to touch myself since March 31 of this year.

                                If you're going to make posts containing such tantalizing imagery, could you please preface them with big, bold, red WARNINGS so I'll know not to read further?

                                Thank you so much.
                                WARNING:
                                In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                                REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                                Comment

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