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  • SUV
    True Christian™ Princess
    The Driving Force behind RA12
    Have at it, anytime!
    • Sep 2006
    • 11027

    #1

    Who is the father of this precious baby?

    They're everywhere! They're everywhere!

    Truly; I just found this one around my Christian Manse today.



    Brother Hatchet might I have a discreet Word with you?
  • Old Man Hatchet
    Super Moderator
    Beloved Church Elder
    World's Greatest Father and Grandfather
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 2084

    #2
    Re: DEMONS!!!!!

    That is one ugly baby. Its parents should throw it in the trash and try again.

    Comment

    • Marshall
      Righteous and Patriotic
      Highest body count at the VFW
      True Christian™
      • Oct 2006
      • 3322

      #3
      Re: DEMONS!!!!!

      Proper Christian babies are born with eyebrows.
      God bless America, the Second Amendment and the Constitution. God bless the United States Marine Corps and all who fight for Jesus in third world cess pools. God bless the GOP and all they stand for, Truth, Honesty and the American people. God bless Landover Baptist Church and all True Christians™ the world over. Curses to our Muslim President, his failure is our Salvation.

      Comment

      • Justina Thyme
        Exposing DEMONS for Jesus
        True Christian™
        • Dec 2007
        • 1718

        #4
        Re: DEMONS!!!!!

        Sister SUV, I understand your anxiety; yet it is possible that this infant, as unfortunate of countenance as it is, is not a DEMON. To be certain, you may try this short ritual:



        BINDING DEMONS


        Prior to knowing anything about DELIVERANCE, someone told us they had a demon living in their home. They could see the demon. They did have knowledge of "binding", so they merely bound the demon in JESUS' name. I have never heard how long a demon can stay bound, but this person said the demon was "frozen" in their doorway of the kitchen for about six months. It was then the person found out they had the authority to make the demons leave using the name of Jesus. It did.

        If someone comes to you for Deliverance, before you even get started, their demons could jump up and knock you across the room. THIS is why you BIND the demons first, for protection.

        It is as simple as saying," In the Name of Jesus, I bind up all the demons in ___________ (name the person, place or thing)." Then cast them OUT, in the name of Jesus.


        If the infant is unable to free itself and move away from where you have "bound" it, you'll know that it is indeed a DEMON and that your home will need purification. GLORY!
        Mark 16:17 And these attesting signs will accompany those who believe: in My Name they will drive out demons.

        1 Kings 21:14 Then they sent to Jezebel, saying, Naboth is stoned . . .

        A SPIRITUAL WARFARE PRAYER:
        Father, In Jesus' Name, I take the Blood of Jesus and break the power of all witches, warlocks, wizards, satanists, sorcerers, wiccans, pagans, and any other source, and all of their rituals off of us. With the Blood of Jesus, I erase all evil lines drawn on our liver. . .

        LANDOVER BAPTIST DEMON HUNTING PERMIT #00666-27

        sigpic



        Comment

        • Mrs. Rogers
          compassion personified
          True Christian™
          • Sep 2006
          • 2692

          #5
          Re: DEMONS!!!!!

          Originally posted by SUV View Post
          my Christian Manse.
          Good grief Sue, are you still having your monthly? I would've thought all that dreadful bleeding business stopped the day you turned 29 for the 30th time. I shall pray for you, as there is nothing 'Christian' about the situation at all!
          True Christians are Perfect!

          Signs that you belong to a FALSE Christian Church.

          Persecution You Have Endured for CHRIST: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger in Christ.

          For True Christians™ only: please send me Project Habakkuk updates at gertruderogers@landoverbaptist.net. Thank you.

          Comment

          • Talitha
            Deaconess
            Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
            True Christian™
            • Jan 2026
            • 15118

            #6
            Re: DEMONS!!!!!

            That Baby certainly reminds me of someone.
            Anyone know who the father is?

            All it needs is a Pipe.................

            Sister Talitha

            Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


            HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
            being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



            Comment

            • Wide-Open
              Director of European Evangelical Outreach
              A Shining Example of Christ's Love
              Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
              True Christian™
              • Nov 2007
              • 18449

              #7
              Re: DEMONS!!!!!

              Oh dear, not another scandal, please.

              Not that we ever had one before, mind.

              It's probably an underaged goth retard that tries to infiltrate our church.
              Psalm 81:10:
              I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
              open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

              Comment

              • Old Man Hatchet
                Super Moderator
                Beloved Church Elder
                World's Greatest Father and Grandfather
                True Christian™
                • Sep 2006
                • 2084

                #8
                Re: DEMONS!!!!!

                Originally posted by Talitha View Post
                All it needs is a Pipe.................
                If you are referring to a lead pipe, I wholeheartedly agree. It needs to be thwacked with a lead pipe on its mushy little head and put out of its misery. Nobody should have to go through life looking like that.

                Comment

                • Old Iron Crotch
                  SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
                  • May 2007
                  • 3056

                  #9
                  Re: DEMONS!!!!!

                  Originally posted by Mrs. Rogers View Post
                  Good grief Sue, are you still having your monthly? I would've thought all that dreadful bleeding business stopped the day you turned 29 for the 30th time. I shall pray for you, as there is nothing 'Christian' about the situation at all!

                  Manse is a posh home.

                  Menses is a menstrual period.
                  Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!

                  Comment

                  • Old Man Hatchet
                    Super Moderator
                    Beloved Church Elder
                    World's Greatest Father and Grandfather
                    True Christian™
                    • Sep 2006
                    • 2084

                    #10
                    Re: DEMONS!!!!!

                    Originally posted by Maggoty Old Crone View Post
                    Menses is a menstrual period.
                    You have just received a slew of infraction points for bringing up such a disgusting subject.

                    Comment

                    • Old Iron Crotch
                      SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
                      • May 2007
                      • 3056

                      #11
                      Re: DEMONS!!!!!

                      Originally posted by Old Man Hatchet View Post
                      You have just received a slew of infraction points for bringing up such a disgusting subject.

                      I didn't bring it up - Mrs. Rogers did. I merely corrected her word usage.
                      Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!

                      Comment

                      • Old Man Hatchet
                        Super Moderator
                        Beloved Church Elder
                        World's Greatest Father and Grandfather
                        True Christian™
                        • Sep 2006
                        • 2084

                        #12
                        Re: DEMONS!!!!!

                        Originally posted by Maggoty Old Crone View Post
                        I didn't bring it up - Mrs. Rogers did.
                        She did so in a ladylike fashion. You did so in a lurid and offensive manner. Do you ever get tired of being a contemptible harlot?

                        Comment

                        • Old Iron Crotch
                          SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
                          • May 2007
                          • 3056

                          #13
                          Re: DEMONS!!!!!

                          Originally posted by Old Man Hatchet View Post
                          She did so in a ladylike fashion. You did so in a lurid and offensive manner. Do you ever get tired of being a contemptible harlot?

                          Don't you ever get tired of being a crotchety old fart?
                          Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!

                          Comment

                          • Old Man Hatchet
                            Super Moderator
                            Beloved Church Elder
                            World's Greatest Father and Grandfather
                            True Christian™
                            • Sep 2006
                            • 2084

                            #14
                            Re: DEMONS!!!!!

                            Originally posted by Maggoty Old Crone View Post
                            Don't you ever get tired of being a crotchety old fart?
                            It's obvious you're subconsciously hankering for my nether regions, you withered tart.

                            Comment

                            • SUV
                              True Christian™ Princess
                              The Driving Force behind RA12
                              Have at it, anytime!
                              • Sep 2006
                              • 11027

                              #15
                              Re: DEMONS!!!!!

                              Originally posted by Mrs. Rogers View Post
                              Good grief Sue, are you still having your monthly? I would've thought all that dreadful bleeding business stopped the day you turned 29 for the 30th time. I shall pray for you, as there is nothing 'Christian' about the situation at all!
                              My GOD, Mrs Rogers, is it possible that Mrs Betty Bowers sent you to scold me instead of her doing it? Truly, it is an honor (and so much less Painful than when Mrs Betty whomps me with her bullhorn).

                              As to that Baby, I have no recollection of how it got here

                              I know! Let's do an Intervention for it!

                              Comment

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