Your PPM?

[Rev. Carlton Green]

As well are all Net-fluent, most Landover Christians will have a Prayer Per Minute record. This record is very important because when sinners stop to listen, they usually only hang around for about a minute or two before they leave or in the computer sense, sign-off. To find your PPM, here's what you need to do.


*Get a minute timer

*Open up a Word Program

*Start the timer and as soon as it starts, you better hurry!

*Type in as many prayers praising the glory of God and his son Jesus as you can without forgetting the AMEN at the end.

*Shake off that writers cramp

*E-mail your prayers to some of your unsaved contacts.



my record is 85, I would like to hear some of the records of others.


P.S. Be careful not to end up with a limp-wrist!

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Your PPM?

P.S. Be careful not to end up with a limp-wrist!

Like anyone will believe you got that from typing. *snicker*

[Rev. Carlton Green]

Re: Your PPM?

Well I assume I would get a petty come back from some heathen who probably only has -2 PPM. Jesus weeps at your fickleness.


-Mr. C. Thallo Green

[lilith]

Re: Your PPM?

My PPM? Absolutely zilch.
On account of my allergy.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Your PPM?

Are you allergic to God's Grace or did you come down with a nasty venereal disease from your "job"?

[Poetic Peter]

Re: Your PPM?

I'll try it here in real time.

Start egg timer.
Pardon typos. Spped is everythin

1 Jesus save me from mysef
2 Pray the Lor my shoul to kee[
3Fix Father lester male olester
4 Keep me on the path of Light
5Save Santa some cokies
666 betrays all men save me from the homerim
7 to way past 11 please God keep open yur Heaven
8now I lay a pen to pope and puncture that perncious dope.

63 seconds. Well, the last one is a keeper so I stretch the rule a litlte.


72 seconds

time out. sit in corner. Repent all of this.

without forgetting the AMEN at the end.

take it as a given: amen, etc.

[eliot mayfield]

Re: Your PPM?

I think God is much more concerned with quality over quantity.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Your PPM?

My PPM? Absolutely zilch.
On account of my allergy.

DON'T ASK HER, DON'T ASK HER, DON'T ASK HER!!!

[lilith]

Re: Your PPM?

Why thanks ever so much for your kind encouragement Al.

I happen to be severely allergic to all things Christian - prayers,churchgoing,hymns,psalms - the lot.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Your PPM?

Why thanks ever so much for your kind encouragement Al.

I happen to be severely allergic to all things Christian - prayers,churchgoing,hymns,psalms - the lot.

I blame jonfish for asking. I said "don't ask her" (didn't I say that? Yes, I did!) but does anyone listen to me? NOOOOOOOOOOO!

[lilith]

Re: Your PPM?

I blame jonfish for asking. I said "don't ask her" (didn't I say that? Yes, I did!) but does anyone listen to me? NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Aaaaand - who can blame them?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Your PPM?

Aaaaand - who can blame them?

Lilith dear, did I ever tell you how often I dream of having my arms around you?

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Your PPM?

Lilith dear, did I ever tell you how often I dream of having my arms around you?

Which notion would be more terrifying...the violent notion you probably mean, or the other notion

What a silly question....the violent option would be by far the less terrifying.

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: Your PPM?

I am in my prayer closet right now. I have a computer in here.
I never stop praying at all, we are not allowed to, Green.
It makes me sad seeing you didn't know this.

Pray without ceasing.
1 Thessalonians 5:17

I pray as I type, I pray as I read, I pray as I eat, I pray in my dreams.
In short, praying comes as natural as breathing.
As it should for every True Christian.

[lilith]

Re: Your PPM?

Which notion would be more terrifying...the violent notion you probably mean, or the other notion

What a silly question....the violent option would be by far the less terrifying.

I never realised that SOME mental pictures could be quite so scary!

It's that "dear" bit - instant stomach churning cold chills - like in the movie Jaws,when that music starts.