Freehold, Iowa, my new home

[Bjorn Jensen]

As you all may be aware, after struggling with papers and immigration for quite a while, i have today arrived to my new home: Freehold, Iowa, on 24 Deuteronomy Street. It was hard to find on the map but now i'm here. Thanks for the warm welcome, Johny Joe Hold. Looking forward to lots of sermons, protests, picketing and witch hunts, and of course the big welcome party at Zeke's Estate!

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Freehold, Iowa, my new home

Welcome to the most friendly and civilized town in Iowa. Gay population, zero!

You're invited to my bring-your-own-meat BBQ next saturday. As a gift suggestion I would advise you to buy me a crate of Macallan 1946 whiskey or, if you are on a budget, the Macallan 1926.

[Professor Bessemer]

Re: Freehold, Iowa, my new home

Welcome Brother!
I am very pleased you made through the vetting process. I hope you did not find the full body cavity search too intrusive. But as I am sure you understand, we do have rather high community standards to uphold.

[Bjorn Jensen]

Re: Freehold, Iowa, my new home

Welcome Brother!
I am very pleased you made through the vetting process. I hope you did not find the full body cavity search too intrusive. But as I am sure you understand, we do have rather high community standards to uphold.

At first i was a bit nervous, but then again, i thought to myself that i am in the safe hands of True Christians™. The way that some men looked at me when i arrived at the Des Moines International Airport was pretty uncomfortable though, especially conidering that fag "marriage" is legal in Iowa (with the exception of Freehold). After having just spent a half day in Freehold, i can tell you already that this is without doubt the kindest, friendliest, most civilized and tolerant city in the whole world!

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Freehold, Iowa, my new home

At first i was a bit nervous, but then again, i thought to myself that i am in the safe hands of True Christians™. The way that some men looked at me when i arrived at the Des Moines International Airport was pretty uncomfortable though, especially conidering that fag "marriage" is legal in Iowa (with the exception of Freehold). After having just spent a half day in Freehold, i can tell you already that this is without doubt the kindest, friendliest, most civilized and tolerant city in the whole world!

Your body language when you entered Freehold immediately became unclenched as soon as you past the second check point. The new HD CCTV Mayor Hold installed and graciously allowed me access to had all you movements in pin sharp quality

Freehold can rest easy in the knowledge that I have my virtual eye out for anyone hiding gaywism under the seamen stain blanket of normality.

I'll be sending my findings to Mayor hold and Pastor Zeke at the end of the observation period about everyone who is not following the statutes.

Lev 26:15-30 And if ye shall despise my statutes, or if your soul abhor my judgments, so that ye will not do all my commandments, but that ye break my covenant: 16 I also will do this unto you; I will even appoint over you terror, consumption, and the burning ague, that shall consume the eyes, and cause sorrow of heart: and ye shall sow your seed in vain, for your enemies shall eat it. 17 And I will set my face against you, and ye shall be slain before your enemies: they that hate you shall reign over you; and ye shall flee when none pursueth you. 18 And if ye will not yet for all this hearken unto me, then I will punish you seven times more for your sins. 19 And I will break the pride of your power; and I will make your heaven as iron, and your earth as brass: 20 And your strength shall be spent in vain: for your land shall not yield her increase, neither shall the trees of the land yield their fruits. 21 And if ye walk contrary unto me, and will not hearken unto me; I will bring seven times more plagues upon you according to your sins. 22 I will also send wild beasts among you, which shall rob you of your children, and destroy your cattle, and make you few in number; and your high ways shall be desolate. 23 And if ye will not be reformed by me by these things, but will walk contrary unto me; 24 Then will I also walk contrary unto you, and will punish you yet seven times for your sins.25 And I will bring a sword upon you, that shall avenge the quarrel of my covenant: and when ye are gathered together within your cities, I will send the pestilence among you; and ye shall be delivered into the hand of the enemy. 26 And when I have broken the staff of your bread, ten women shall bake your bread in one oven, and they shall deliver you your bread again by weight: and ye shall eat, and not be satisfied. 27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me; 28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins. 29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat. 30 And I will destroy your high places, and cut down your images, and cast your carcases upon the carcases of your idols, and my soul shall abhor you.

We shall see in six months.

YIC