[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Should I get a Tattoo?

Don't you think a belt sander would be faster and more efficient than a cheese grater?

Just an idea.

Well aren't you a clever girl! Where did you hear about powertools? I'll bet you were listening to the men instead of tending to your pie crusts, right?


(Hey Seth! You need to keep her in line!)

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Should I get a Tattoo?

Unfortunately this plan didn't go as well as I hoped. After 20 minutes of removing my wifes tatoo with the cheese grater she broke free. The neighbours were banging on the walls as well wondering what all the screaming was about. I will try again another day. I think our relationship is still stong. I think she is planning a surprise romantic weekend away as I noticed she has got my suitcase out of the attic.

YiC

Jack

Don't you think a belt sander would be faster and more efficient than a cheese grater?

Just an idea.

[Jack O'fagan]

Re: Should I get a Tattoo?

I haven't done any about this yet however I think the problem will be resolved this Friday. Unfortunately my wife is not a True Christian. I am getting the message through to her, however sometimes she goes back to her old ways. In a moment of weakness I agreed that she can leave the house on Friday and have an evening with some friends. It has been several years since she was last allowed out. Being English she will act like a harlot, dancing to music and drinking. I have told her she must be in by 9.30pm. She will then be semiconscious. That is when I shall pounce. Rather than cutting it out with a knife I have prepared a cheese grater. It will take longer but hopefully I can leave her with a layer or two of skin. She will thank me for this some day. Also as she will be drunk she will feel less pain (yet another example of my caring side)

Unfortunately this plan didn't go as well as I hoped. After 20 minutes of removing my wifes tatoo with the cheese grater she broke free. The neighbours were banging on the walls as well wondering what all the screaming was about. I will try again another day. I think our relationship is still stong. I think she is planning a surprise romantic weekend away as I noticed she has got my suitcase out of the attic.

YiC

Jack

[James Hutchins]

Re: Should I get a Tattoo?

God gave us the Markings that we are supposed to have at Birth and through Life by way of scars from our trials.
Any self mutilation by way of branding or tatooing is not acceptable.

No, God marked some as a way to let the rest of the world know who was defective and bad. In street vernacular, that is called, marking the 'factory seconds'.

[Guidinglight]

Re: Should I get a Tattoo?

God gave us the Markings that we are supposed to have at Birth and through Life by way of scars from our trials.
Any self mutilation by way of branding or tatooing is not acceptable.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Should I get a Tattoo?

Can somebody delete my account I don't know how and I want no part in this insanity.

Dear Hatemonger;

I'm sorry, but it is our policy NEVER to remove the account of an unsaved fool. Your belligerent hatemongering will remain for future unsaved scum to see and learn from for all eternity (or until Jesus returns to slay most of the earth, whichever comes first).

Jesus called you here for a reason, so you might rethink your selfish tantrum and stick around.

If you'd really like to remove yourself from our Godly forum, all you need to do is to click on that tiny red "x" in the upper righthand corner of your computer screen. Then close your computer, stand up, and walk away.

YIC,

--Pastor Ezekiel

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Should I get a Tattoo?

Can somebody delete my account I don't know how and I want no part in this insanity.

Did you sign up just to whine and create extra work for us?
NO, we will NOT delete your account! If you don't want to find salvation, just click the little X at the top right hand corner of your screen and don't come back, simple as that!

[Jack O'fagan]

Re: Should I get a Tattoo?

How resourceful, Brother Jack! Many so-called Christians would have silently resigned their wives to Hell over such a thing, but you and your inventive mind have saved your wife's soul!

Be sure and update us with the details of the surgery.

I haven't done any about this yet however I think the problem will be resolved this Friday. Unfortunately my wife is not a True Christian. I am getting the message through to her, however sometimes she goes back to her old ways. In a moment of weakness I agreed that she can leave the house on Friday and have an evening with some friends. It has been several years since she was last allowed out. Being English she will act like a harlot, dancing to music and drinking. I have told her she must be in by 9.30pm. She will then be semiconscious. That is when I shall pounce. Rather than cutting it out with a knife I have prepared a cheese grater. It will take longer but hopefully I can leave her with a layer or two of skin. She will thank me for this some day. Also as she will be drunk she will feel less pain (yet another example of my caring side)

Can somebody delete my account I don't know how and I want no part in this insanity.

What insanity would that be?

YiC

Jack

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Should I get a Tattoo?

I am afraid to say that Mrs O'fagan has a tattoo of a butterfly on her lower back. She likes it. But I was considered holding her down and cutting it out. The pain would be intense but short compared to what she will suffer for eternity in hell. Will my act of love save her eternal soul?

Yours

Jack

How resourceful, Brother Jack! Many so-called Christians would have silently resigned their wives to Hell over such a thing, but you and your inventive mind have saved your wife's soul!

Be sure and update us with the details of the surgery.

I would suggest burning it off.

This reminds me of the time I had to cut off my ex-wife's hand and tongue. She was always getting into mischief, and as you know the Bible instructs us to cut off body parts that get us into trouble.

Mark 9:43-47
43 And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched:
45 And if thy foot offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter halt into life, than having two feet to be cast into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched:
47 And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire:

Your solution is definitely within the spirit of this rule.

It would be best to commence as soon as possible. You don't want her dying on you!

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Should I get a Tattoo?

Can somebody delete my account I don't know how and I want no part in this insanity.

But you've only just arrived. Don't you want to be saved?

[taylorenne]

Re: Should I get a Tattoo?

Can somebody delete my account I don't know how and I want no part in this insanity.

[Jack O'fagan]

Re: Should I get a Tattoo?

I am afraid to say that Mrs O'fagan has a tattoo of a butterfly on her lower back. She likes it. But I was considered holding her down and cutting it out. The pain would be intense but short compared to what she will suffer for eternity in hell. Will my act of love save her eternal soul?

Yours

Jack

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Should I get a Tattoo?

im getting my tattoo in august

That's nice.

Enjoy Hell.

[obamabuddy]

Re: Should I get a Tattoo?

im getting my tattoo in august

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Should I get a Tattoo?

I am truly amazed at how much of hypocrites all you christians are... Once your so-called judgements condemn ALL of you to hell... I shall see you all there...

You may look up and see me laughing at you from Heaven, but that's about it.