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  • #76
    Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

    It's not even enough for people to get off to regular porn nowadays.

    Thanks to the internet people saturate to everything including cartoon ponies humanized animals, and erotic drawings of little girls!

    These disgusting people are usually neck bearded 30 year olds who live with their parents and frankly I'm not sure if they can be saved, perhaps it's best just to purge then... ,

    Comment

    • #77
      Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

      In my previous post I meant masturbate instead of saturate, defeated once again by satanic autocorrect...

      Comment

      • #78
        Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

        Originally posted by 999Dev View Post
        Does Jesus like to watch?
        What the...? I best tell Weezer so as he can draw the blinds!poor fool can't stop cuffin the dummy to save his life,be a mite embarasing if Jesis busted him.
        Proverbs 23:8 The morsel which thou hast eaten shalt thou vomit up, and lose thy sweet words.

        Comment

        • #79
          Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

          Originally posted by DemonThinker96 View Post
          You didn't answer my question. How are gay people forcing their lifestyle on you? Threaten me with hell all you want, it doesn't scare me.
          The very foundation of our civilization is the union of one man and one woman of the same race in the holy sacrament of matrimony. Once you let people publicly flaunt their disrespect of American traditional family values, they start rejecting all of the other tenets of decency--Christian prayer in school, sexual purity, low taxes for job creators, working for a living instead of asking for a handout, beating disobedient children, women obeying their husbands, parents arranging marriages for their children, keeping Mexicans and other undesirables from taking our jobs, and gun ownership.

          When society tells us it is OK to lead a non-traditional lifestyle, the we naturally start to adapt to that. While we True Christians™ manage to avoid the temptations that the Devil places in front of us through the sheer strength of our faith, people who are less dedicated to the Lord start thinking, "maybe I should leave my wife and marry another man, just for variety." And the next thing you know, everyone in America will be a crack-addicted, whore of Babylon, half-black, half-Mexican lesbian welfare Queen who thinks that she has equal rights just because she is a human being. Then, there won't be anyone working, so we won't have enough money to fight the Arabs over there instead of over here, and they'll invade and conquer us to set up their worldwide caliphate. And you know that most of the Arabs go gay when there aren't any camels around.

          So, in the end, even True Chritians™ will be forced to have homosexual sex, the trauma from which will ruin our traditional marriages.

          This is what is at stake. So WAKE UP people!
          The Christian Right: The Only Right Way to Be a Christian!

          Comment

          • #80
            Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

            How exactly is "Jesus is watching you masturbate" supposed to be good in any way, shape, or form?

            Comment

            • #81
              Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

              Originally posted by DividingByZero View Post
              How exactly is "Jesus is watching you masturbate" supposed to be good in any way, shape, or form?

              See here, friend, the point is that even if you think you are well hidden while practicing your perversions, Jesus is watching. You aren't getting away with anything. He knows all.


              You could have read that yourself right here, but you didn't. Are your eyes afflicted?
              God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11

              Comment

              • #82
                Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

                Originally posted by DividingByZero View Post
                How exactly is "Jesus is watching you masturbate" supposed to be good in any way, shape, or form?
                Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

                And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.

                I will pray that the Holy Spirit enter you and chase the demons out of your rectum and let Jesus fill you with His Grace. If you use your God-given free will to reject Christ and His temporary death on the cross for my sins, then you are sending yourself to hellfire.
                Who Will Jesus Damn?

                Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                Comment

                • #83
                  Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

                  Originally posted by DividingByZero View Post
                  How exactly is "Jesus is watching you masturbate" supposed to be good in any way, shape, or form?

                  I agree, it proves that Jesus is a disgusting pervert
                  Rom.1:26-27
                  For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature. And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.

                  Comment

                  • #84
                    Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

                    Originally posted by DemonThinker96 View Post
                    I agree, it proves that Jesus is a disgusting pervert
                    Blasphemy will not be tolerated on this forum! How does it feel like knowing that you're eternal soul is damned?

                    Matthew 25:46

                    The Honorable Brother Jessup T. Lloyd, Esq. has spoken…….Amen!

                    The Lord’s Hang’n Judge – convicting the wicked and condemning the heretic!

                    And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war. (Revelation 19:11)

                    Comment

                    • #85
                      Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

                      Originally posted by DividingByZero View Post
                      How exactly is "Jesus is watching you masturbate" supposed to be good in any way, shape, or form?
                      It isn't good, unless knowing that Jesus is watching shames you into leading a better life. Jesus hates the fact that He has to watch you masturbate. But He has to do it so He has all of the facts at hand when He judges you on Judgment Day. He couldn't risk getting it wrong and sending a non-masturbator to Hell for Onanism.
                      The Christian Right: The Only Right Way to Be a Christian!

                      Comment

                      • #86
                        Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

                        Originally posted by WWJDnow View Post
                        But He has to do it so He has all of the facts at hand when He judges you on Judgment Day.
                        Exactly! Just as every maneuver of their evil hand manipulating their genitals up and down, stores up more judgments!
                        Isaiah 12:21 (KJV) -- Prepare slaughter for his children for the iniquity of their fathers

                        Ezekiel 9:6 (KJV) -- Slay utterly old and young, both maids, and little children, and women

                        Comment

                        • #87
                          Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

                          Just sitting here munching on popcorn watching things unfurl in front of me.

                          Comment

                          • #88
                            Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

                            Originally posted by angel_of_light View Post
                            Just sitting here munching on popcorn watching things unfurl in front of me.
                            Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

                            And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.

                            I will pray that the Holy Spirit enter you and chase the demons out of your rectum and let Jesus fill you with His Grace. If you use your God-given free will to reject Christ and His temporary death on the cross for my sins, then you are sending yourself to hellfire.
                            Who Will Jesus Damn?

                            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                            Comment

                            • #89
                              Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

                              So... What kind of masturbation does Jesus like to watch, exactly? With toys, without? Mutual? I'm asking for a friend.

                              Wait, does watching a dude masturbate make Jesus gay? Or is it only gay if he likes it? (Has this been addressed already in this thread?)
                              This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN

                              Comment

                              • #90
                                Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

                                Originally posted by WickedWitch View Post
                                So... What kind of masturbation does Jesus like to watch, exactly? With toys, without? Mutual? I'm asking for a friend.

                                Wait, does watching a dude masturbate make Jesus gay? Or is it only gay if he likes it? (Has this been addressed already in this thread?)
                                Don't you understand anything, harlot? He weeps bitterly as he leers at you frenetically manipulating your unclean zone to multiple instances of arrival, whilst no doubt shouting His name as you disgrace the very air about you with your lewd tongue gyrations.

                                I think Jesus has suffered enough for our sakes, why would you want to shovel more grief upon Him?

                                Comment

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