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  • doc_haynes
    Unsaved trash
    • Mar 2011
    • 4

    #31
    Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

    I cannot believe I was given an infraction for my comment above.

    I am new to Christianity and I have many questions, as there is much that I do not understand about Jesus and the Bible and God and all that stuff.
    If I am going to get infractions every time I try to find a deeper understanding, then perhaps this is not the site for me.
    Perhaps Christianity might even be the wrong religion for me.
    I hope that is not the case, because I know I am a sinner and I would not want to go and burn in Hell. That does not sound pleasant at all.
    However, if I am going to be chastised for asking simple and honest questions, then what other alternative do I have?

    In my comment above, I did not use any profanity, nor did I attack anyone. I do have the sinking feeling that I was attacked though, with the "squinting" and "squirming" replies. But I am willing to give the benefit of the doubt, that maybe I just misunderstood the replies. Even if they were attacks, I am willing to forgive, because that is something that I have learned is a big thing in Christianity. My apologies if my innocent questions were taken the wrong way, but I do feel that the infraction was unjust and without merit.

    Comment

    • Pastor Ezekiel
      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
       
      • Sep 2006
      • 78555

      #32
      Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

      If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

      If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

      You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

      Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

      Comment

      • Hammer of Justice
        Unsaved trash
        Under Investigation
        • Mar 2011
        • 10

        #33
        Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

        I used to be a chronic masturbator too, but then jesus came to me and told me to stop or i'd go to hell and burn under satan's ass for all eternity. That was when i stopped and devoted my life to christ. I feel as if i'm a whole new person. I no longer have dubious thoughts and it feels as if a ton of stones has just been lifted from my shoulders.

        Masturbation can lead to all kinds of diseases too. God hates it, and you will go to hell if you do it.

        I can tell you that praying to god gives a million times more pleasure than whacking off ever did.

        Comment

        • RagingLiberal
          Unsaved trash, hateful queer
          • Jan 2011
          • 83

          #34
          Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

          If this is the case, Jesus is a CREEPER
          Ezekiel 25:17: "I will execute great vengeance on them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the Lord. When I lay My vengeance upon them."
          PRO 4:7 "Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding." ECC 1:18 "For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow."

          Comment

          • Cursed
            Recovering Bastard
            Head of Landover Glee Club
            True Christian™
            • Jan 2011
            • 1363

            #35
            Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

            Originally posted by RagingLiberal View Post
            If this is the case, Jesus is a CREEPER
            How dare you! You'll burn in Hell for that faggotry!

            Ha ha I hope we both die tonight so I can watch you suffer! PLEASE LET IT BE TONIGHT, LORD!
            The vine is dried up, and the fig tree languisheth; the pomegranate tree, the palm tree also, and the apple tree, even all the trees of the field, are withered: because joy is withered away from the sons of men.~Joel 1:12

            Comment

            • MisterM
              True Christian™
              True Christian™
              • Mar 2011
              • 1480

              #36
              Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

              Originally posted by RagingLiberal View Post
              If this is the case, Jesus is a CREEPER
              If your neighbor is in his garden watering the flowers and gardening and you will step in front of him and start to wank off, would you call him creeper or would you be pervert that law would punish?

              Whole world is God's own garden and when you commit your pervert acts, you do them on purpose in front of God. That is why you'll be punished and you will burn in hell.
              Romans 1:18 - For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness;

              Comment

              • Boudica
                Unsaved trash
                Under Investigation
                • Mar 2011
                • 20

                #37
                Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

                Well then, I'll just have to move up from twice a day to 5 times a day since I have an audience to please!
                "I am that I am."-Peter Tosh

                Comment

                • Unknown to God
                  Unsaved trash
                  Under Investigation
                  • Apr 2011
                  • 1

                  #38
                  Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

                  Hi, where can I get this video? Masturbation has ruined my life after my wife found out I still do it. She has left me and taken my son too. Long story.

                  I have to see my son again.

                  Comment

                  • Jtkode
                    Unsaved trash, hellbound sinner
                    • Apr 2011
                    • 22

                    #39
                    Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

                    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                    He is the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. I'd like to see you try and arrest Him, maggot.
                    I'm not convinced there is a god to be honest... honestly no disrespect, totally none so I would hope that you wouldn't have any for me and my lifestyle, lets just point that out from that start. But although you guys say that being gay is like a sin and everything.... like... people cant help it, not to just put it out there I'm gay and its something your born with, you cant change it. Sooooo why would god make me gay? You know what I mean? Pretty complicated if you ask me... although the worst part about it is that if I cant make something stop or I need something sooo bad I still pray to god to help. hmm interesting huh.. ps. Ezekiel ur sooo handsome!

                    Again no disrespect, I've read some posts in the noob section and one of the pastors said that he likes the kind of person that has solid debates, not someone that is just ranting so I'm not ranting... hopefully I didn't offend anyone.
                    This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN

                    Comment

                    • Bobby-Joe
                      Landover Security Superviser
                      Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
                      NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
                      True Christian™
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 18405

                      #40
                      Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

                      Originally posted by Jtkode View Post
                      I'm not convinced there is a god to be honest... honestly no disrespect, totally none so I would hope that you wouldn't have any for me and my lifestyle, lets just point that out from that start. But although you guys say that being gay is like a sin and everything.... like... people cant help it, not to just put it out there I'm gay and its something your born with, you cant change it. Sooooo why would god make me gay? You know what I mean? Pretty complicated if you ask me... although the worst part about it is that if I cant make something stop or I need something sooo bad I still pray to god to help. hmm interesting huh.. ps. Ezekiel ur sooo handsome!

                      Again no disrespect, I've read some posts in the noob section and one of the pastors said that he likes the kind of person that has solid debates, not someone that is just ranting so I'm not ranting... hopefully I didn't offend anyone.
                      We don't say gay is wrong. Jesus does

                      Why do you hate Jesus sinner?

                      Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

                      Hot Must ReadThreads!


                      Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

                      Comment

                      • Jtkode
                        Unsaved trash, hellbound sinner
                        • Apr 2011
                        • 22

                        #41
                        Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

                        I don't hate Jesus sir.
                        This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN

                        Comment

                        • Road Kill gypsy
                          Confirmed Enemy of God
                          • Mar 2009
                          • 33

                          #42
                          Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

                          Well, everybody has their kinks.......I heard he was into BDSM too!

                          Comment

                          • worshiper29
                            Forum Member
                            Forum Member
                            • Apr 2011
                            • 125

                            #43
                            Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

                            Originally posted by rocknroll View Post
                            It's pretty obvious. He is a Christian who wanted to look-up if doing it was okay.

                            Just so you know, every guy does it whether consciously or unconsciously, if he hasn't seen action for about a month.

                            I like to believe that God looks away or does something else when I am doing it with a girl or m*st*rb*t*ng.
                            Pervert! Many of us are devoted followers who would rather read our Bibles and pray than participate in self-love selfishness pleasures like that!

                            Use your bodies for what they are meant for. The marriage bed shall stay undefiled. (Hebrews 13:4)

                            If I caught my wife or kids masturbating, I would smack the Jesus right back into them!!


                            Proverbs 10: Wise men lay up knowledge: but the mouth of the foolish is near destruction.
                            Proverbs 13:24 ~ He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes
                            Isaiah 12:21 (KJV) -- Prepare slaughter for his children for the iniquity of their fathers

                            Ezekiel 9:6 (KJV) -- Slay utterly old and young, both maids, and little children, and women

                            Comment

                            • DMDGhost
                              Confirmed Enemy of God
                              BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                              • Jun 2011
                              • 7

                              #44
                              Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

                              Good, I like when people watch, it gets me all hot and hard.

                              Comment

                              • Sister Kitty
                                True Christian™
                                True Christian™
                                • Mar 2010
                                • 857

                                #45
                                Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

                                Is Hell hot enough for you? Because that's where you're headed little girl.
                                Exodus 22:20 He that sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the LORD only, he shall be utterly destroyed.

                                Comment

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