[Brother Tobias]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

Jesus do not like to watch. He is everywhere.

Proverbs 15:3
The eyes of the Lord are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.

[WickedWitch]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

Don't you understand anything, harlot? He weeps bitterly as he leers at you frenetically manipulating your unclean zone to multiple instances of arrival, whilst no doubt shouting His name as you disgrace the very air about you with your lewd tongue gyrations.

Oh man, those were the days! *Nostalgic sigh*

[James Hutchins]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

I imagine Jesus, kneeling by the side of some masturbators brd, praying for the child's salvation only to be hit time and time again in the face with the young mans God Seed(c).
All day long, over and over, that disgusting thick and rigid hunk of man meat, being rubbed until it is raw, that crescendo of ecstasy that God intended to signal as a point where the disgusting sexual relations act can end until it is time for a female to become repregnated.
You know, Jesus can hear the thousands of tiny babies in Man Seed screaming as they die.

[WickedWitch]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

I imagine Jesus, kneeling by the side of some masturbator's bed, praying for the ***child's*** salvation only to be hit time and time again in the face with the young mans God Seed©.
All day long, over and over, that disgusting thick and rigid hunk of man meat, being rubbed until it is raw, that crescendo of ecstasy [...]

That is quite the fantasy... Have you ever, um, spoken to a professional about this?

[James Hutchins]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

That is quite the fantasy... Have you ever, um, spoken to a professional about this?

Of course.

I have spent countless hours in heated encounters with Pastor Ezekiel, trying to get a good grip on masturbating.

[Witch Hammer]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

That is quite the fantasy... Have you ever, um, spoken to a professional about this?

Try keeping your mind out of the gutter, fornicatress!

[WickedWitch]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

Of course.

I have spent countless hours in heated encounters with Pastor Ezekiel, trying to get a good grip on masturbating.

Well. Ahem. There's, uh... there's really nothing I can say to that...

Try keeping your mind out of the gutter, fornicatress!

1) As a sexual health educator and soon-to-be sex therapist, I was speaking to Brother Hutchins in a purely professional capacity.

2) If it wasn't for the gutter, my mind would be homeless.

[Witch Hammer]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

As a sexual health educator and soon-to-be sex therapist, I was speaking to Brother Hutchins in a purely professional capacity.

Working hard at cementing your relationship with satan? Denial of Christ is all it really takes, but I'm sure old hob appreciates you going that extra mile.

[WickedWitch]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

Working hard at cementing your relationship with satan? Denial of Christ is all it really takes, but I'm sure old hob appreciates you going that extra mile.

Wow, WH. You seem pretty fearful of sex and sexuality. If you'd like, I could schedule you in for a few sessions and try to help you face your fears.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

Wow, WH. You seem pretty fearful of sex and sexuality. If you'd like, I could schedule you in for a few sessions and try to help you face your fears.

Back off, whore.

[WickedWitch]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

Back off, whore.

"The boy is mine" back off, or "cool your jets" back off?

[James Hutchins]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

Well. Ahem. There's, uh... there's really nothing I can say to that...







1) As a sexual health educator and soon-to-be sex therapist, I was speaking to Brother Hutchins in a purely professional capacity.

2) If it wasn't for the gutter, my mind would be homeless.

You people are obsessed with Gods Chosen Method of creating new potential Christians. So many people fail to 'make the grade' and have to be tossed into Hell. To remind us all of the risks we expose these potential souls to, God makes us fornicate and defecate. Even young strapping children have to defecate! He does not make us masturbate. That is the Devil tempting us.
Every ten months (30 days after expressing a progeny) when I have to 'do it' with my wife, Mrs. Hutchins, I am utterly repelled at the vile act of internal physical contact. Punishment for my potential ability to sin.

[Esther B.]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

"The boy is mine" back off, or "cool your jets" back off?

It's a "cool your jets" back off. Pastor Ezekiel and Witch Hammer are both Godly straight men.

[WickedWitch]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

It's a "cool your jets" back off. Pastor Ezekiel and Witch Hammer are both Godly straight men.

I have spent countless hours in heated encounters with Pastor Ezekiel, trying to get a good grip on masturbating.

Are you sure?

<snip>Discussion of scat</snip>

Every ten months (30 days after expressing a progeny) when I have to 'do it' with my wife, Mrs. Hutchins, I am utterly repelled at the vile act of internal physical contact. Punishment for my potential ability to sin.

That's more of a punishment for Mrs. Hutchins, actually, since it is generally recommended that a woman wait at least 6 weeks after a birth to recommence sexual activity (longer if she had to have stitches or if interventions such as forceps, vacuum, or C-section were required). It is also recommended that a woman wait a minimum of 18 months post-birth to try to conceive again, though 20-24 months is considered ideal; this allows the body enough time to recover and it's better for both the mother and the new baby.

[Witch Hammer]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

Are you sure?



That's more of a punishment for Mrs. Hutchins, actually, since it is generally recommended that a woman wait at least 6 weeks after a birth to recommence sexual activity (longer if she had to have stitches or if interventions such as forceps, vacuum, or C-section were required). It is also recommended that a woman wait a minimum of 18 months post-birth to try to conceive again, though 20-24 months is considered ideal; this allows the body enough time to recover and it's better for both the mother and the new baby.

Mrs. Hutchins is blessed to be given any grace period what-so-ever. In my home, seeding commences as soon as the baby clears the birth canal. I enjoy the chore as little as Brother Hutchins does...its a dirty job, but it must be done.Genesis 1:28