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  • Brother Tobias
    Forum Member
    Forum Member
    • Jun 2015
    • 63

    #91
    Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

    Jesus do not like to watch. He is everywhere.

    Proverbs 15:3
    The eyes of the Lord are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
    1st Corinthians 1:26 For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called:

    Comment

    • WickedWitch
      Unsaved Canuck Who Longs to be Saved©
      CAUTION: Poster is Bi-Lingually curious
      • Jan 2007
      • 1366

      #92
      Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

      Originally posted by Witch Hammer View Post
      Don't you understand anything, harlot? He weeps bitterly as he leers at you frenetically manipulating your unclean zone to multiple instances of arrival, whilst no doubt shouting His name as you disgrace the very air about you with your lewd tongue gyrations.
      Oh man, those were the days! *Nostalgic sigh*
      This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN

      Comment

      • James Hutchins
        True Christian™
        Just a Regular Nice Guy
         
        • Jun 2009
        • 29453

        #93
        Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

        I imagine Jesus, kneeling by the side of some masturbators brd, praying for the child's salvation only to be hit time and time again in the face with the young mans God Seed(c).
        All day long, over and over, that disgusting thick and rigid hunk of man meat, being rubbed until it is raw, that crescendo of ecstasy that God intended to signal as a point where the disgusting sexual relations act can end until it is time for a female to become repregnated.
        You know, Jesus can hear the thousands of tiny babies in Man Seed screaming as they die.
        Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
        Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
        Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
        Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
        Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
        Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

        Comment

        • WickedWitch
          Unsaved Canuck Who Longs to be Saved©
          CAUTION: Poster is Bi-Lingually curious
          • Jan 2007
          • 1366

          #94
          Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

          Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
          I imagine Jesus, kneeling by the side of some masturbator's bed, praying for the ***child's*** salvation only to be hit time and time again in the face with the young mans God Seed©.
          All day long, over and over, that disgusting thick and rigid hunk of man meat, being rubbed until it is raw, that crescendo of ecstasy [...]
          That is quite the fantasy... Have you ever, um, spoken to a professional about this?
          This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN

          Comment

          • James Hutchins
            True Christian™
            Just a Regular Nice Guy
             
            • Jun 2009
            • 29453

            #95
            Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

            Originally posted by WickedWitch View Post
            That is quite the fantasy... Have you ever, um, spoken to a professional about this?
            Of course.

            I have spent countless hours in heated encounters with Pastor Ezekiel, trying to get a good grip on masturbating.
            Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
            Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
            Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
            Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
            Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
            Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

            Comment

            • Witch Hammer
              True Christian™
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2006
              • 1717

              #96
              Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

              Originally posted by WickedWitch View Post
              That is quite the fantasy... Have you ever, um, spoken to a professional about this?
              Try keeping your mind out of the gutter, fornicatress!

              Comment

              • WickedWitch
                Unsaved Canuck Who Longs to be Saved©
                CAUTION: Poster is Bi-Lingually curious
                • Jan 2007
                • 1366

                #97
                Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

                Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
                Of course.

                I have spent countless hours in heated encounters with Pastor Ezekiel, trying to get a good grip on masturbating.


                Well. Ahem. There's, uh... there's really nothing I can say to that...





                Originally posted by Witch Hammer View Post
                Try keeping your mind out of the gutter, fornicatress!
                1) As a sexual health educator and soon-to-be sex therapist, I was speaking to Brother Hutchins in a purely professional capacity.

                2) If it wasn't for the gutter, my mind would be homeless.
                Last edited by WickedWitch; 07-14-2015, 12:24 AM. Reason: Issues with colour formatting
                This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN

                Comment

                • Witch Hammer
                  True Christian™
                  True Christian™
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 1717

                  #98
                  Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

                  As a sexual health educator and soon-to-be sex therapist, I was speaking to Brother Hutchins in a purely professional capacity.
                  Working hard at cementing your relationship with satan? Denial of Christ is all it really takes, but I'm sure old hob appreciates you going that extra mile.

                  Comment

                  • WickedWitch
                    Unsaved Canuck Who Longs to be Saved©
                    CAUTION: Poster is Bi-Lingually curious
                    • Jan 2007
                    • 1366

                    #99
                    Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

                    Originally posted by Witch Hammer View Post
                    Working hard at cementing your relationship with satan? Denial of Christ is all it really takes, but I'm sure old hob appreciates you going that extra mile.
                    Wow, WH. You seem pretty fearful of sex and sexuality. If you'd like, I could schedule you in for a few sessions and try to help you face your fears.
                    Last edited by WickedWitch; 07-14-2015, 01:10 AM. Reason: Strange wording needed fixing
                    This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN

                    Comment

                    • Pastor Ezekiel
                      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                       
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 78555

                      #100
                      Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

                      Originally posted by WickedWitch View Post
                      Wow, WH. You seem pretty fearful of sex and sexuality. If you'd like, I could schedule you in for a few sessions and try to help you face your fears.
                      Back off, whore.
                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                      Comment

                      • WickedWitch
                        Unsaved Canuck Who Longs to be Saved©
                        CAUTION: Poster is Bi-Lingually curious
                        • Jan 2007
                        • 1366

                        #101
                        Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

                        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                        Back off, whore.
                        "The boy is mine" back off, or "cool your jets" back off?
                        This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN

                        Comment

                        • James Hutchins
                          True Christian™
                          Just a Regular Nice Guy
                           
                          • Jun 2009
                          • 29453

                          #102
                          Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

                          Originally posted by WickedWitch View Post


                          Well. Ahem. There's, uh... there's really nothing I can say to that...







                          1) As a sexual health educator and soon-to-be sex therapist, I was speaking to Brother Hutchins in a purely professional capacity.

                          2) If it wasn't for the gutter, my mind would be homeless.
                          You people are obsessed with Gods Chosen Method of creating new potential Christians. So many people fail to 'make the grade' and have to be tossed into Hell. To remind us all of the risks we expose these potential souls to, God makes us fornicate and defecate. Even young strapping children have to defecate! He does not make us masturbate. That is the Devil tempting us.
                          Every ten months (30 days after expressing a progeny) when I have to 'do it' with my wife, Mrs. Hutchins, I am utterly repelled at the vile act of internal physical contact. Punishment for my potential ability to sin.
                          Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                          Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                          Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                          Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                          Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                          Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                          Comment

                          • Esther B.
                            Forum Member
                            Forum Member
                            • Sep 2012
                            • 575

                            #103
                            Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

                            Originally posted by WickedWitch View Post
                            "The boy is mine" back off, or "cool your jets" back off?
                            It's a "cool your jets" back off. Pastor Ezekiel and Witch Hammer are both Godly straight men.
                            And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
                            Deuteronomy 6.5

                            Comment

                            • WickedWitch
                              Unsaved Canuck Who Longs to be Saved©
                              CAUTION: Poster is Bi-Lingually curious
                              • Jan 2007
                              • 1366

                              #104
                              Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

                              Originally posted by Esther B. View Post
                              It's a "cool your jets" back off. Pastor Ezekiel and Witch Hammer are both Godly straight men.
                              Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
                              I have spent countless hours in heated encounters with Pastor Ezekiel, trying to get a good grip on masturbating.
                              Are you sure?

                              Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
                              <snip>Discussion of scat</snip>

                              Every ten months (30 days after expressing a progeny) when I have to 'do it' with my wife, Mrs. Hutchins, I am utterly repelled at the vile act of internal physical contact. Punishment for my potential ability to sin.
                              That's more of a punishment for Mrs. Hutchins, actually, since it is generally recommended that a woman wait at least 6 weeks after a birth to recommence sexual activity (longer if she had to have stitches or if interventions such as forceps, vacuum, or C-section were required). It is also recommended that a woman wait a minimum of 18 months post-birth to try to conceive again, though 20-24 months is considered ideal; this allows the body enough time to recover and it's better for both the mother and the new baby.
                              This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN

                              Comment

                              • Witch Hammer
                                True Christian™
                                True Christian™
                                • Sep 2006
                                • 1717

                                #105
                                Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

                                Originally posted by WickedWitch View Post
                                Are you sure?



                                That's more of a punishment for Mrs. Hutchins, actually, since it is generally recommended that a woman wait at least 6 weeks after a birth to recommence sexual activity (longer if she had to have stitches or if interventions such as forceps, vacuum, or C-section were required). It is also recommended that a woman wait a minimum of 18 months post-birth to try to conceive again, though 20-24 months is considered ideal; this allows the body enough time to recover and it's better for both the mother and the new baby.
                                Mrs. Hutchins is blessed to be given any grace period what-so-ever. In my home, seeding commences as soon as the baby clears the birth canal. I enjoy the chore as little as Brother Hutchins does...its a dirty job, but it must be done.Genesis 1:28

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