[mollychu]

Re: Is Your Child A Goth?

Who knows? We do! The Holy KJV 1611 Bible was written by GOD, not man. It is the literal Word of GOD.

i thought it was written by a lot people.....


what happened to Moses, Job, John, Mark, Luke, and etc???

[shaunasaurus]

Re: Is Your Child A Goth?

All True Christians™ know that if a boy touches himself, even in the shower, he is a homosexural. So just shut up about it and accept the fact that you are going to burn in HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY! "Fantasizing" about the "body parts" of female sluts is never an excuse! Since a boy is touching a male unmentionable member, that makes him HOMOSEXURAL! This includes all types of masturbation!!

See THIS sermon on masturbation and using the toilet. BEWARE! Don't be caught touching your filthy privates when Jesus returns!

Ew so they never wash their penises if they are "TRUE CHRISTIANS!"?
Ewwww. That's disgusting.

I guess being a woman, i'm not allowed to touch my own "privates" in the shower even to wash?
Well, i do, because i care about bodily hygeine, thank you very much.

(and by the way it's spelled "homosexual" )

[Mom (Quarantined)]

Re: Is Your Child A Goth?

If you spent your time studying God's Holy Word instead of spanking your monkey, you would know what happened to one Mr. Onan in the book of Genesis, chapter 38, verses 9 and 10:

And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also.

God killed him for "spilling his seed". In fact, every time you spill your seed, you are murdering millions of babies, potential soldiers for Christ's war against the mudslime menace. So you see? Choking your chicken harms the war on terror and means that you don't support our troops in iraquistan. You could end up in Gitmo for that, homer.

Put it in a jar and give it to the sperm bank.

[shaunasaurus]

Re: Is Your Child A Goth?

Who knows? We do! The Holy KJV 1611 Bible was written by GOD, not man. It is the literal Word of GOD.

How do you know that?

You are only human.

And God i don't think could seriously write the bible, what happened to John, Paul, Samuel, etc.?????

How do you explain that? You can't.

[Mom (Quarantined)]

Re: Is Your Child A Goth?

Practicing for women? I'm not sure how to tell you this, honey, but we ladies... well... we don't have tallywhackers. I apologize if that comes as a shock to you, but it's simply the way God designed us, and I praise Him for it every day! But no, the perversity you practice prior to spilling your seed will in no way whatsoever help your wife to fill her quiver when the time comes to procreate. In fact, the hands are barely involved at all, save for the post-coital prayer in which the man and wife ask the LORD to cleanse them of their stink and bless their union with children.

No, onanism is a slippery slope (forgive the pun! ) that can lead in only one direction: toward homosexuality and AIDS! Praise Jesus!

How is coitus interruptis leading to homosexuality? Eh...Nevermind.

Do you honestly want to have sex with a guy who has never had an orgasm before? He'd be so sensitive and built up, he'd erupt in a second. Leaving no pleasure for the women. But I do agree with you in the sense that I'd much rather have my girlfriend jack me off than myself.

But either way. It says nothing about women not masturbating. Because women don't have seeds to spill. They just have eggs. So I guess women got the long end of the stick on this one...

You guys honestly don't wash your penis? That's just gross. I feel sorry for the woman that goes down on you. Doubtful you even have a woman to go down on you....

[Mom (Quarantined)]

Re: Is Your Child A Goth?

Yes, sometimes our waste goes everywhere but our maids and wives don't mind cleaning the bathroom a few times a day as they know that we are avoiding sin.

That's just wierd...

Women aren't as smart as men but that doesn't mean they don't have a brain. Women have hearts, sometimes to much heart and they accidently sin while trying to help someone, which is why women need a man to tell them what to think. The jury is still out on women's souls. they may have one or they may not, we don't know.

What women are you talking about? I know a lot of moronic men and a lot of genious women. There's no difference between the two intelligence-wise.

Murdering thousands of babies is not natural! It is a sin, a sin that leads to homerism! Remember what GOD did to Onan for playing with his tallywhacker!

Oh, please. It's not that hard for a man to 'get up' again. You're not killing thousands of babies. Most of the sperm goes to waste anyway.

And what if you get a boner? Are you supposed to be in pain of not releiving it? That's fun...*sarcasm*

And not cleaning yourself is bad for you. You can get infections, rashes, it starts to stink, making it bad for your partner...It's not good.

[shaunasaurus]

Re: Is Your Child A Goth?

Yes, sometimes our waste goes everywhere but our maids and wives don't mind cleaning the bathroom a few times a day as they know that we are avoiding sin.

Women aren't as smart as men but that doesn't mean they don't have a brain. Women have hearts, sometimes to much heart and they accidently sin while trying to help someone, which is why women need a man to tell them what to think. The jury is still out on women's souls. they may have one or they may not, we don't know.

Murdering thousands of babies is not natural! It is a sin, a sin that leads to homerism! Remember what GOD did to Onan for playing with his tallywhacker!

That's just disgusting.

Murdering babies? MOST of the sperm DIES anyways after it is ejaculated from a man's penis! And masturbating does not lead to being homosexual, don't be stupid. If you get a boner and don't masturbate you're just hurting yourself...

[mollychu]

Re: Is Your Child A Goth?

i must say, you people contradict yourself A LOT.




you say its horrible for any man to masturbate, while on your website (www.landoverbaptist.com) they say the legal "masturbation age" for men is 65.

does that mean senior citizens are "homers"?


o:

[Jesus is Lord]

Re: Is Your Child A Goth?

Oh, please. It's not that hard for a man to 'get up' again. You're not killing thousands of babies. Most of the sperm goes to waste anyway.

And what if you get a boner? Are you supposed to be in pain of not releiving it? That's fun...*sarcasm*

And not cleaning yourself is bad for you. You can get infections, rashes, it starts to stink, making it bad for your partner...It's not good.

Manseed have souls therefore when you "M" you damn thousands of innocent souls to Hell.

We do not view porn or do anything else that might lead to an (forgive me, Lord) erection. If it does happen the GOOD LORD helps us get over it.

Who said we don't clean ourselves? A few swipes with a thick, rough, spounge does a good job of cleaning down there and does not result in touching a man's tallywhacker nor any pleasure.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Is Your Child A Goth?

i must say, you people contradict yourself A LOT.




you say its horrible for any man to masturbate, while on your website (www.landoverbaptist.com) they say the legal "masturbation age" for men is 65.

does that mean senior citizens are "homers"?


o:

You obviously didn't read the entire article. A special pastoral dispensation was given to seniors because they cannot make any more soldiers for Christ, therefore they are not committing the sin of Onanism.

Stop mocking Christ by taking things out of context.

[mollychu]

Re: Is Your Child A Goth?

You obviously didn't read the entire article. A special pastoral dispensation was given to seniors because they cannot make any more soldiers for Christ, therefore they are not committing the sin of Onanism.

Stop mocking Christ by taking things out of context.

yes, but you guys also said if a man touches himself, hes gay.


am i missing something here? please explain. obviously this is too complex for my female brain to comprehend.


(ooohhhh....such big words)

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Is Your Child A Goth?

obviously this is too complex for my female brain to comprehend.

You are quite correct. Go bake a pie.

[mollychu]

Re: Is Your Child A Goth?

You are quite correct. Go bake a pie.

will you answer my question instead?




how come senior citizens can spank a monkey, but teenagers cant?

and how can senior citizens can get away with being "homer" but teens cant?

[shaunasaurus]

Re: Is Your Child A Goth?

You obviously didn't read the entire article. A special pastoral dispensation was given to seniors because they cannot make any more soldiers for Christ, therefore they are not committing the sin of Onanism.

Stop mocking Christ by taking things out of context.

Stop mocking Christ or God by saying he hates people when he was the one that created them in the first place.

[Mom (Quarantined)]

Re: Is Your Child A Goth?

Manseed have souls therefore when you "M" you damn thousands of innocent souls to Hell.

We do not view porn or do anything else that might lead to an (forgive me, Lord) erection. If it does happen the GOOD LORD helps us get over it.

Who said we don't clean ourselves? A few swipes with a thick, rough, spounge does a good job of cleaning down there and does not result in touching a man's tallywhacker nor any pleasure.

You poor, depraved people...