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Baseball is, without doubt, the gayest of all sports except for men's gymnastics, men's cheerleading, men's rhythmic gymnastics, men's synchronized swimming, greco-roman wrestling, women's bodybuilding, curling and badminton. The sad thing is, we encourage our young boys to participate in this shameless spectacle, thus leading to their damnation later in life when they apply the homoerotic lessons they learned in little league to their sex lives. Just consider what goes on on the ballfield:
Men are playing with each other, swinging their bats around. You start the game with a line up. There are pitchers and catchers. Sometimes, the men go down swinging. Sometimes they choke up on the bat. They slide donuts on their bats. Four balls is considered a good thing. Getting to first base is good. Getting to second base is better. Getting to third base is better yet. Best of all is a homer. The players with the "big bats" are the most admired, especially if they're switch-hitters. Vaseline helps with your backdoor slider. You can also use a spitball. There's always a cleanup man. Players grab each others' flies. Some players are knuckleballers. A putout is a good thing. Pitchers can't pitch without a rubber. Players get into scoring position. Everybody likes a good squeeze play. Everyone gets interested when the LIPS happen. They like ribbies. Sometimes they play small ball. They keep batboys around.
Please, I beg you, send this list to everyone who has a son playing in little league and have them pull their children out of this sinful "sport" immediately!
Men are playing with each other, swinging their bats around. You start the game with a line up. There are pitchers and catchers. Sometimes, the men go down swinging. Sometimes they choke up on the bat. They slide donuts on their bats. Four balls is considered a good thing. Getting to first base is good. Getting to second base is better. Getting to third base is better yet. Best of all is a homer. The players with the "big bats" are the most admired, especially if they're switch-hitters. Vaseline helps with your backdoor slider. You can also use a spitball. There's always a cleanup man. Players grab each others' flies. Some players are knuckleballers. A putout is a good thing. Pitchers can't pitch without a rubber. Players get into scoring position. Everybody likes a good squeeze play. Everyone gets interested when the LIPS happen. They like ribbies. Sometimes they play small ball. They keep batboys around.
Please, I beg you, send this list to everyone who has a son playing in little league and have them pull their children out of this sinful "sport" immediately!
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